"I"

During a conversation with a good friend (who also happens to be my Pastor), he pointed out to me that I was using the word "I" a lot. He didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing, it was just an observation. I have been thinking about that little word, off and on, for a while now, and what that meant. This morning I caught myself thinking the ususal, "I can do this, I am going to do this, (lose weight, keep my priorities straight, etc) because I have God in my life and His strength, determination, etc. Then it hit me; COMPLETE SUBMISSION! God's little way of saying to me, "Your still not getting it!"

My thinking is all wrong. "I" can't. God can! God is the only one who can change me. I know I have said that in my last blog, but sometimes things will become a realized fact in my mind before it becomes a truth in my heart that I truly understand and convicts me.

Now don't get me wrong, the "I" still has to be there. "I" have to LET Him; Complete Submission. "I" have been trying to still hold on to control. Let go and let God.

A new phrase to store in my thought closet; God can and "I" will let Him.

NEW HOPE

December 31st, stroke of midnight, Happy New Year!!!

I think that means many different things to many people. For many it means the beginning of their "New Year's Resolution". The old year is behind them and the hopes of a bigger and better year lies ahead of them. We tend to look at our lives in terms of years. I think seasons is a better term.

We have moments of New Hope; the Spring rains wash away the darkness and gloom. We can shed the heaviness of our burdens like a heavy winter jacket.
We, then, enter into the Summer of our lives. Things are going well. Our spirits are up, the sun is shinning, the air is fragrant and sweet. Yes, sometimes there are some storms, but it is summer; the sun will shine again and the hours of light is long. Be careful, though, because before you know it, you have gotten so focused on the "fun and sun" of summer that you forget about that New Hope. Something causes a little gloom to set in. The darker, cloudy days of Fall settle in. The heavy layers of our burdens begin to return. We forget to enjoy the fragrance and beauty of life. If we could just stay focused we could see that the beauty and joy is still there, it is just changing. Before you know it, Winter hits, and for some it hits hard. We totally lose site of the sparking beauty that surrounds us. Hope seems lost. It seems that the winter will never end, but it does. The Spring of New Hope is always there.

Jesus is my Spring of New Hope. He is always there, patiently waiting for my return. Because I have Jesus in my life, I don't have to wait for a new year to have New Hope, just a new Season. With Jesus, every second of every day is a chance for New Hope to spring up. It is up to me how long a season lasts. I don't have to count the days on a calendar and wait it out. I just have to choose to run into the arms of Hope, which is Jesus. He will help me understand and learn from the storms of my life. He will take my burdens away and replace them with Peace and Joy. As long as I keep my focus on Him, the joys of Summer will last longer and the storms will be easier to face. I can choose to skip the gloom of winter, and rejoice that the New Hope of Spring, which is Jesus, is always there.

It is my prayer that this year you will choose to focus on the Hope that can only be found in Jesus, and not on the calendar and the earthy things that you want to change. Let Jesus change you.

In this season of my life, God has been teaching me my need to completely submit to His will for my life. There is so much that He is trying to bless my life with, and I am missing out because there are parts of my life that I am trying to hold on to and control that I need to let go of and give to God.

God Sighting

God sighting!! I was watching the firefly finale at the VBS that my girls are going to and I was touched by God today. Everyone sang "Amazing Love" while crew leaders draped garbage bags (representing sin) over a cross that was lit by purple lights, covering all of the light. Then "Jesus" came and removed each bag and draped them on himself and just stood there with his arms open wide while everyone continued to sing. I sat in the back of the sanctuary and watched 125 kids and the staff (at least 20 staff members), and I was just overwhelmed with emotion. I wanted to be a part of it; a part of something so amazing that touched the lives of so many kids. It made me think of my church. We are in a slump right now, our average kid count is six. It is my deep desire to see our church swamped (VBS theme- Crocodile Dock) with kids, and I want to be a part of God's plan to touch each one of their lives. That sanctuary (at Riverwood community church, VBS) has been filled, each day this week, with well over a 100 souls praising God. I saw parents with tears in their eyes, myself included, how could you not. It is my prayer, God, that you bless my church. Enlarge it's territory; give us the desire and the opportunity to touch the lives of at least as many kids as Riverwood Community church did this week. Then keep your hand over us and protect up from evil. Help our church to grow. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Irreplaceable Role

From the book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge: Page 208, "Tammy became a worshiper, and her life of pouring her adoring devotion onto Jesus has become a beacon and a call to countless women to do the same."
This really spoke to me, especially since the name is the same. My core desire is to share the love of Jesus. My focus keeps ending up in the wrong place. I have fears of opening up and sharing what I feel inside; freely expressing my love for God. So, I try to do it through my "works". I focus so hard on doing my best and worrying about what others will think. I am always looking for something to do; kids church, kids choir, teach kids in BSF, adult choir, outreach activities, but what ends up happening a lot of the times is I get overwhelmed and stressed out. I end up not enjoying some of those activities because I am trying to hard. God wants me to do those things, but he wants me to enjoy doing them because I am doing them for Him. My focus just needs to be on my love for God and His love for me, the rest will fall into place. Life can truley be that simple; Love God and receive His love back. Trust Him to have control and everything will fall into place. I don't need to try so hard.

Skyward

I just recently read the book Skyward, and I wanted to share my favorite paragraph in the whole book.

" Folks tend to think Buh Buzzard is a lazy scavenger, good for nothin but trash. They like to point to Buh Eagle as noble and better than other birds. Think a minute about how the world would be without Buh Buzzard. Likewise, Buh Eagle. They both do their own work. They both know their worth. And that's why they both can stretch their wings, catch the wind and rise high up yonder in the elements, flying and giving praise."

It reminds me how everyone is important to God. We all have a special part in this world. If we just realize our worth, trust in God and take the courage to spread our wings, God will help us to catch the wind and rise high. Fly and give God the glory.

Have a Blessed day!

Today is my Birthday. It is a good day to reflect on my life. I am thankful for God allowing me to live 37 years, and I look forward to many more to learn and grow. I am excited to see where God has brought me. I don't always allow myself to believe it, but I really am a much stronger, more confident and joyful person these days.

I have been reading Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge, and it has been making revisit my past. There is a quote in there that I really liked. "Then the time came when the risk it took to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. -Anais Nin. That is where my life was about three years ago. I am so glad that God helped me to see that.

I would not be where I am today without my relationship with God. I grow closer to him each day. That is because I have learned the importance of prayer. I use to think of prayer as just a way to ask God for something. That is not what it is all about, He wants us to pray becuase He just wants a relationship with us. We are doing a study at church about prayer and there is a quote in there, from last Wednesday's lesson that I just loved. "Prayer is not casting a fishing line with a hook toward God to catch from Him a blessing, but to cast a line toward God so that He might pull ourselves closer to HIm." -Theodore Cuyler

These are just thoughts on my mind today. I am feeling so blessed and full of joy today. It is easy with this bright beautiful sunshine today. I know it is cold, that is why I am enjoying the sun through the windows of my house.

Have a blessed day!

Crystal

Meet Crystal the snow bear. She was created on Sat. January 31st.

Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend about how fast kids grow up. It is a conversation every parent has had, and will have, serveral times in thier lifetime. We talked about how you just need to treasure every moment with them, of not worring about the messes they create. I know that I am guilty of that, especially when they were younger. I told myself that I was not going to let that stuff bother me, not care about the clutter in the house. I didn't listen to myself. My life was so filled with stress worrying about the mess, it still is. It is not as bad as it use to be, but still there.

Anyway, I wrote all that because that conversation made me think about this picture. That was a wonderful day. The weather was beautiful, and we spent a giant chunk of our day out in it. We built Crystal (who lost all of her eyes, nose, mouth, pipe and buttons the next day) and then we had a snow ball fight. By we, I mean me, Jerry and the girls. Then we walked up to the school and climbed snow hills and made snow angels. Thanks to a friend loaning me a pair of snow pants, I was able to roll around in the snow and stay dry and warm, except when snow would find its way down the back of my jacket, thanks to my girls. That is what life is all about. We need to enjoy every precious moment, because one day the girls are going to be to "old" to play in the snow with mom. We just never know when that one time will be the last time we do that paticular thing.

Make the most of every moment of life. This is a reminder to me, too. It is so easy to get caught up in the things of the world.

Have a blessed day!