Psalm 63:1 O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land, where there is no water.
God longs for an intimate relationship with his children. His heart must break when we don't spend time with him; when we don't give him our complete trust. He designed us to have relationship with him. It is him we desire when we feel that unexplained longing in our hearts. He is the only trustworthy constant in a world filled with uncertainty. He is the only one who can truly satisfy our souls. He loves us so much that he watched Jesus, his only Son, suffer and die on the cross. That is how he loves us and wants a relationship with us.
Thank you for loving me so much, God. I know there are times when I take your love for granted, and I know there are times that I doubt your love for me, and for that I am truly sorry. It is so hard for me to completely give up control even though I desire so bad to do so. You are so kind and so patient and you love me unconditionally; for that I am truly grateful. You are my God and I will never stop seeking you; my heart will always long for you. You are the only one who can truly satisfy my soul. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
A light bulb day!
1 Corinthians 10:31 So, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory God.
You know how you can hear something a thousand times and it takes until one thousand and one until the light bulb goes on. Today is a light bulb day. I was reading a Christian e-newsletter and I read an article that tuned on the bulb for me. I have been allowing myself to believe the lie that if I am not doing something big, exciting and "important" that I am just wasting my life away. The result of this has been where some of my disappointments and depression have come from.
I can spend my day cleaning the house and feel good about it and then the family comes home and little by little all of my hard work is undone. Then there are the days that I am so sure that the words that I have been repeating day after week after month after year will finally be heard, and then I find myself having to say them once again. There are days that I will stand in the middle of a room in my house trying to decide which of the many things I have to do I will do first, and I am unable to get my feet to move because I am so tired of doing it and it all seems so pointless. My life can seem so mundane, repetitive and I feel as though my days are just wasting away; nothing I do is important. None of this is work for God; I'm not on some overseas mission trip or doing some important job for the church or reaching out to the lost in the community so this surely can't be giving God glory. I try to fill my days with "work for God" so that God will be happy with me and I end up overwhelmed and stressed out. I feel like a failure because I am not giving my whole heart to these jobs because of the stress I feel. I am not content or at peace; I have anxiety. I am surely not a true Christian because I am failing at the God-jobs. Why do I feel this way? Because some of these jobs have not been assigned to me by God. I am trying to take control of my life. I am trying to be the person I think I should be and not the one that God knows I should be.
Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Here is where the light bulb really came on. I have tried, in the past, to remind myself that I should be doing everything for the glory of God; do it as if I am doing it for God. That can be very difficult and frustrating to do when you think what you are doing can't be giving God glory. I guess I have never really thought about the fact that God has assigned me all of the mundane tasks. He wants me to do them and to do them to best of my ability, and when I do them to the best of my ability I AM giving God glory. He wants me to do those "important jobs", too. But only the ones that he has assigned to me. This is why time with God is so important. It is only through consistent quality time with him that I come to know and understand him better, and come to understand what he wants for my life. When I grow weary, discouraged, disappointed and depressed I just need to focus on what God has done for me in Jesus, and rest in the fact that he has me right where he wants me to be, doing exactly what he wants me to do.
God, thank you for my every part of my life. I know that I take things for granted and I show you disrespect when I don't appreciate every part of this life you have given me. I am truly blessed. You have blessed me with many people and things to care for; you have entrusted me with a lot. Forgive me for my ungrateful and grumpy attitude. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
You know how you can hear something a thousand times and it takes until one thousand and one until the light bulb goes on. Today is a light bulb day. I was reading a Christian e-newsletter and I read an article that tuned on the bulb for me. I have been allowing myself to believe the lie that if I am not doing something big, exciting and "important" that I am just wasting my life away. The result of this has been where some of my disappointments and depression have come from.
I can spend my day cleaning the house and feel good about it and then the family comes home and little by little all of my hard work is undone. Then there are the days that I am so sure that the words that I have been repeating day after week after month after year will finally be heard, and then I find myself having to say them once again. There are days that I will stand in the middle of a room in my house trying to decide which of the many things I have to do I will do first, and I am unable to get my feet to move because I am so tired of doing it and it all seems so pointless. My life can seem so mundane, repetitive and I feel as though my days are just wasting away; nothing I do is important. None of this is work for God; I'm not on some overseas mission trip or doing some important job for the church or reaching out to the lost in the community so this surely can't be giving God glory. I try to fill my days with "work for God" so that God will be happy with me and I end up overwhelmed and stressed out. I feel like a failure because I am not giving my whole heart to these jobs because of the stress I feel. I am not content or at peace; I have anxiety. I am surely not a true Christian because I am failing at the God-jobs. Why do I feel this way? Because some of these jobs have not been assigned to me by God. I am trying to take control of my life. I am trying to be the person I think I should be and not the one that God knows I should be.
Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Here is where the light bulb really came on. I have tried, in the past, to remind myself that I should be doing everything for the glory of God; do it as if I am doing it for God. That can be very difficult and frustrating to do when you think what you are doing can't be giving God glory. I guess I have never really thought about the fact that God has assigned me all of the mundane tasks. He wants me to do them and to do them to best of my ability, and when I do them to the best of my ability I AM giving God glory. He wants me to do those "important jobs", too. But only the ones that he has assigned to me. This is why time with God is so important. It is only through consistent quality time with him that I come to know and understand him better, and come to understand what he wants for my life. When I grow weary, discouraged, disappointed and depressed I just need to focus on what God has done for me in Jesus, and rest in the fact that he has me right where he wants me to be, doing exactly what he wants me to do.
God, thank you for my every part of my life. I know that I take things for granted and I show you disrespect when I don't appreciate every part of this life you have given me. I am truly blessed. You have blessed me with many people and things to care for; you have entrusted me with a lot. Forgive me for my ungrateful and grumpy attitude. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Today's Devotion
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1
Dear God, I want to run the race you have marked out for me with perseverance, strength and focus. I want to be physically, emotionally and spiritually prepared to endure the long run ahead of me. I don't want to tire too quickly and fall from weakness, sin and unnecessary things that weigh me down. Show me what I nee to throw off in order to run your race with greater ease. Whether it be something big or small, good or bad, I don't want to hold onto it if it is going to slow me down or cause me to stumble. I want to make it to that finish line! I want to celebrate that victory with you! With all my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Dear God, I want to run the race you have marked out for me with perseverance, strength and focus. I want to be physically, emotionally and spiritually prepared to endure the long run ahead of me. I don't want to tire too quickly and fall from weakness, sin and unnecessary things that weigh me down. Show me what I nee to throw off in order to run your race with greater ease. Whether it be something big or small, good or bad, I don't want to hold onto it if it is going to slow me down or cause me to stumble. I want to make it to that finish line! I want to celebrate that victory with you! With all my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Today's Devotion
Now Naomi had a relative on her husband’s side, a man of standing from the clan of Elimelek, whose name was Boaz. Ruth 2:1
After Naomi's husband died Boaz was there to help her and her mother-in-law; "a man of standing". God, you gave your only Son, Jesus, to be my Rock; to be the constant in my life, and I am very thankful for that. And, just like Naomi and her mother-in-law, you have placed mature people in my life who have been solid, stable influences in my life. I would be completely lost without that stability to lean on. You take great care in providing for me exactly what I need in every situation. Help me to be that solid, stable influence to the people around me. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
After Naomi's husband died Boaz was there to help her and her mother-in-law; "a man of standing". God, you gave your only Son, Jesus, to be my Rock; to be the constant in my life, and I am very thankful for that. And, just like Naomi and her mother-in-law, you have placed mature people in my life who have been solid, stable influences in my life. I would be completely lost without that stability to lean on. You take great care in providing for me exactly what I need in every situation. Help me to be that solid, stable influence to the people around me. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Today's Devotion
James 1:6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.
This takes me back to a poem I wrote; "James Admonition", this poem was a sum of the book of James. This is the first part of the poem:
Consider it pure joy
when you face trials of many kind.
Testing of your faith
develops perseverance of body and mind.
Perseverance must finish its work
so you can become mature and complete.
The unstable will be tossed by the wind
and face certain defeat.
Sometimes we doubt God; I know I have many times. When we doubt we "choose to be weak, deciding this is the easiest way to live. Actually the easy life is empty, fruitless and meaningless; it is contrary to the essential character God planed for us. God created us with the desire to meet and overcome obstacles, to enjoy the fruit of success, and to feel the thrill of adventure in full confidence that he is with us and will lead us to share the victory with him." (from Dear Tammy - a letter inspired by God through BSF notes)
We miss out on the blessings that God has for us when we choose the "easy life" because we doubt God. God promises to always love and take care of us, all we have to do is believe and trust him. I know it can be hard to look past the scars that life may have placed in your heart, but with God you can overcome. He wants to celebrate that victory with you. It just takes one small step of faith.
Dear God,
Thank you for watching over me and loving me unconditionally. You are so patient and faithful. Help me to always remember that with you I can overcome anything. You have showed me time and again in my life that you will take care of me. I have no reason to doubt you. Satan is so good at trying to make me doubt you; he likes to remind me of my weaknesses and try to convince me that trying is hopeless. He wants me to forget that I have all the strength and confidence I need because I belong to you and you provide me with all I need.
With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
This takes me back to a poem I wrote; "James Admonition", this poem was a sum of the book of James. This is the first part of the poem:
Consider it pure joy
when you face trials of many kind.
Testing of your faith
develops perseverance of body and mind.
Perseverance must finish its work
so you can become mature and complete.
The unstable will be tossed by the wind
and face certain defeat.
Sometimes we doubt God; I know I have many times. When we doubt we "choose to be weak, deciding this is the easiest way to live. Actually the easy life is empty, fruitless and meaningless; it is contrary to the essential character God planed for us. God created us with the desire to meet and overcome obstacles, to enjoy the fruit of success, and to feel the thrill of adventure in full confidence that he is with us and will lead us to share the victory with him." (from Dear Tammy - a letter inspired by God through BSF notes)
We miss out on the blessings that God has for us when we choose the "easy life" because we doubt God. God promises to always love and take care of us, all we have to do is believe and trust him. I know it can be hard to look past the scars that life may have placed in your heart, but with God you can overcome. He wants to celebrate that victory with you. It just takes one small step of faith.
Dear God,
Thank you for watching over me and loving me unconditionally. You are so patient and faithful. Help me to always remember that with you I can overcome anything. You have showed me time and again in my life that you will take care of me. I have no reason to doubt you. Satan is so good at trying to make me doubt you; he likes to remind me of my weaknesses and try to convince me that trying is hopeless. He wants me to forget that I have all the strength and confidence I need because I belong to you and you provide me with all I need.
With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Daily Devotion
Matthew 12:7 "If you had known what these words mean, 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice', you would not have condemned the innocent.
Mercy: An act of kindness, compassion, or favor.
Sacrifice: To surrender or give up, or permit injury or disadvantage to, for the sake of something [or someone] else.
God wants us to sacrifice but, sacrifice is not a form of self-punishment or a way to make people pity you for what you have given up. Sacrifice is selfish if done for the wrong reasons. We need to show mercy; that is so much more important then sacrifice. Sacrifice is nothing if there is not true love, compassion or kindness with it. For someone who can't not seem to get out of victim mode, mercy can be difficult at times.
Jesus, I thank you for the sacrifice you made for me; the gift you have given me that I truly do not deserve. You are the ultimate example of love and mercy. I want to be more like you. Help me to always show the same kind of mercy you show me to those I come in contact with everyday. With all my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Mercy: An act of kindness, compassion, or favor.
Sacrifice: To surrender or give up, or permit injury or disadvantage to, for the sake of something [or someone] else.
God wants us to sacrifice but, sacrifice is not a form of self-punishment or a way to make people pity you for what you have given up. Sacrifice is selfish if done for the wrong reasons. We need to show mercy; that is so much more important then sacrifice. Sacrifice is nothing if there is not true love, compassion or kindness with it. For someone who can't not seem to get out of victim mode, mercy can be difficult at times.
Jesus, I thank you for the sacrifice you made for me; the gift you have given me that I truly do not deserve. You are the ultimate example of love and mercy. I want to be more like you. Help me to always show the same kind of mercy you show me to those I come in contact with everyday. With all my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Daily Devotion: October 20
Picture this: The family gathered together playing a game. There is joy, peace, love; just good quality time together. Time with family makes the connection between you stronger. You know you are right where you belong; you are home. Inside your home you feel secure and warmth; Outside a cold winter storm blows. Outside you would be exposed and vulnerable to the harsh effects of the winter. Outsid...e you are anxious for warmth and security; you feel lost and alone.
Job 38:29 "From whose womb comes the ice? Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens." A reading from a devotional: Winter is essential for growth. Stripped down to the bare minimum our economic, emotional or spiritual winter makes clear to us the essentials from the superfluous."
God, Thank you for the winters in my life. They can be a real challenge to go through but, when I look back I see the growth they have produced in me. Winters give me a stronger desire to rest in your warm and secure arms. Those times in your arms are times of bonding that give me strength, encouragement and a better understanding of you. In your arms I am secure. In your arms I am home. With all my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Job 38:29 "From whose womb comes the ice? Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens." A reading from a devotional: Winter is essential for growth. Stripped down to the bare minimum our economic, emotional or spiritual winter makes clear to us the essentials from the superfluous."
God, Thank you for the winters in my life. They can be a real challenge to go through but, when I look back I see the growth they have produced in me. Winters give me a stronger desire to rest in your warm and secure arms. Those times in your arms are times of bonding that give me strength, encouragement and a better understanding of you. In your arms I am secure. In your arms I am home. With all my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Daily Devotion: October 19
Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.
Dear God, thank you that you will turn my difficulties into valuable lessons. Thank you that you have a plan a purpose for every part of my life. When I take the time to be still at your feet you are faithful to reveal to me the lessons you have for me; you reveal to me, in the right ...time, the plan and purpose you have for each situation in my life. There is a plan for every joy, sorrow, victory and hardship and your plans are always for the good and your plans never fail. Forgive me for the times that I try to take control; for thinking I know what is best for my life. Help me to be more disciplined and being still before you and to be patient. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name. Amen.
Dear God, thank you that you will turn my difficulties into valuable lessons. Thank you that you have a plan a purpose for every part of my life. When I take the time to be still at your feet you are faithful to reveal to me the lessons you have for me; you reveal to me, in the right ...time, the plan and purpose you have for each situation in my life. There is a plan for every joy, sorrow, victory and hardship and your plans are always for the good and your plans never fail. Forgive me for the times that I try to take control; for thinking I know what is best for my life. Help me to be more disciplined and being still before you and to be patient. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name. Amen.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Only God!
I had a really personal encounter with God this morning. To backtrack a little, I have been feeling a bit depressed lately. I have noticed that it seems to hit this time of the year. Plus, there has just been alot going on lately; so many people that I love that are suffering from physical stuff. My heart has really been feeling heavy for these people. There is nothing you can do but give them love, a hug, listening ear and a lot of prayer. I have been struggling a little with prayer. It is easy for me to get discouraged when I don't see things getting any better; sometimes even getting worse.
I have been trying really hard to stay close to God, and not let this spirit of depression overtake me. I found myself kind of hanging out in the bathroom at home the other day trying to fight back tears that just came out of nowhere. My emotions are weighing me down so that I have really been struggling to get out of bed in the morning this past week. I just want to stay hidden in the protection of my covers and get lost in my own little world; not think about what is really going on.
So, this morning was no different. I woke up with that same heavy feeling. I had to get up and get ready for church, I was on the praise team today which means I have to get there early, so that meant that I could not sleep in. I spent some time with my bible and journal and God, of course. God gave me a verse of encouragement...
Psalm 18: 17-19,21 He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me. I have not done evil by turning from my God.
With this verse, God reminded me that he has rescued me from depression before and he will do it everytime I need him to, and that he delights in me. God loves me, and is, and will always look out for me, I just need to stay in tune with him. I have victory in him and I am Tenacious because of him. Tenacious is a new name that God has given me. It is a name that keeps me going.
God was not done with just a verse of encouragement. He then proceed to put a little joy into my heart. God knows just how much I love nature. The beautiful sights, sounds and smells of his wonderful creations. Well, I looked outside my window and there was this very cute baby bunny. A couple minutes later there was another. They were chasing each other and playing and it put a smile on my face, so God gave me a third bunny to enjoy. The scene out my front window put a joy and peace into my soul. The sun was shinning, there was a bit of a haze in the distance, a slight cool breeze was coming throught the window and the bunnies were playing in the yard. I just sat back and sighed and the wonderful sight.
I have to come back and finish this later. My family wants to go outside and play a game of backatcha. Be back later.
Well, it is two days later but I am back to finish this post.
God was not finished with doing what he could to show me he was there and that he really cares about how I feel. I went to praise team practice and everyone there was in high spirits. Praise practice at 9 in the morning can be a bit stressful sometimes, but not on this paticular Sunday. The joy that was in the hearts of the other praise team members put me im a much better mood. Thank you God!
I love it when I am that aware of God working in my life; when I can really feel his presence. I love to sing and I love being on the praise team. But it makes it a little difficult for me to focus on God and worship him because the congregation is out there wathing my every move. But, I was able to sing from the heart on Suday. I was in a whole other zone; just me and God, and it felt great!
I have been trying really hard to stay close to God, and not let this spirit of depression overtake me. I found myself kind of hanging out in the bathroom at home the other day trying to fight back tears that just came out of nowhere. My emotions are weighing me down so that I have really been struggling to get out of bed in the morning this past week. I just want to stay hidden in the protection of my covers and get lost in my own little world; not think about what is really going on.
So, this morning was no different. I woke up with that same heavy feeling. I had to get up and get ready for church, I was on the praise team today which means I have to get there early, so that meant that I could not sleep in. I spent some time with my bible and journal and God, of course. God gave me a verse of encouragement...
Psalm 18: 17-19,21 He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me. I have not done evil by turning from my God.
With this verse, God reminded me that he has rescued me from depression before and he will do it everytime I need him to, and that he delights in me. God loves me, and is, and will always look out for me, I just need to stay in tune with him. I have victory in him and I am Tenacious because of him. Tenacious is a new name that God has given me. It is a name that keeps me going.
God was not done with just a verse of encouragement. He then proceed to put a little joy into my heart. God knows just how much I love nature. The beautiful sights, sounds and smells of his wonderful creations. Well, I looked outside my window and there was this very cute baby bunny. A couple minutes later there was another. They were chasing each other and playing and it put a smile on my face, so God gave me a third bunny to enjoy. The scene out my front window put a joy and peace into my soul. The sun was shinning, there was a bit of a haze in the distance, a slight cool breeze was coming throught the window and the bunnies were playing in the yard. I just sat back and sighed and the wonderful sight.
I have to come back and finish this later. My family wants to go outside and play a game of backatcha. Be back later.
Well, it is two days later but I am back to finish this post.
God was not finished with doing what he could to show me he was there and that he really cares about how I feel. I went to praise team practice and everyone there was in high spirits. Praise practice at 9 in the morning can be a bit stressful sometimes, but not on this paticular Sunday. The joy that was in the hearts of the other praise team members put me im a much better mood. Thank you God!
I love it when I am that aware of God working in my life; when I can really feel his presence. I love to sing and I love being on the praise team. But it makes it a little difficult for me to focus on God and worship him because the congregation is out there wathing my every move. But, I was able to sing from the heart on Suday. I was in a whole other zone; just me and God, and it felt great!
Monday, July 15, 2013
Joshua 1:3
"I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses."
This verse was my encouragement during the hardest part of the longest prayer walk I have ever been on.
On Saturday, the 13th, Some members of my church participated in a prayer walk. We (DPC) have felt prompted to claim a 2 mile radius around the church to pray over. Our goal is to reach out to those in the area that don't yet know Christ as their Savior.
Some walked small sections and some did about half the walk. Jerry, Casey, Amber, myself, and a good friend, Angie, felt challenged to take on the whole 13 1/2 mile walk. God blessed us with really good weather; could of done without the mosquitos we encountered at the beginning of the walk though. It did get really hard during the last quarter of the walk, and my prayers were getting less and less because my body started to really hurt, and the it started to get hot, and I was just trying to make it to the end. Some of my prayers at that point were for God's help so we could all finish strong. I started to remember Joshua 1:3. It encouraged me because I knew that God was blessing the work I was doing for him. He knew my heart and knew my purpose for being out there. It reminded me that when I become to tired to pray that Jesus is there praying to God on my behalf. I believe that God's Holy Spirit radiated from me to the places surrounding where I set my feet.
I have really developed a love for prayer walking. You really get to see things in your community that you usually miss; you get a whole new perspective. As I walked over bridges I thought of the homeless that I know live under some of the bridges. It is easy to not think about them as your driving over, focused on getting to your destination, and getting there safely. When you take the time to walk you get the opportunity to really take in all the beauty that God has created. It left me wondering how many people go through their day and take for granted the beauty that God has placed around them. The beauty that he has created for us to enjoy. Prayer walking helps you to get to know your community better. Prayer walking is a really good way to spend some quality time with God; talking with him or just watching and listening for whatever he wants you see or hear. Prayer walking is a good way to get
yourself in shape physically, and spiritually.
I plan to do more prayer walking over the rest of the summer and during the fall. I believe that God is going to do some big and exciting things in the community and for our church during our efforts to help grow his Church.
This verse was my encouragement during the hardest part of the longest prayer walk I have ever been on.
On Saturday, the 13th, Some members of my church participated in a prayer walk. We (DPC) have felt prompted to claim a 2 mile radius around the church to pray over. Our goal is to reach out to those in the area that don't yet know Christ as their Savior.
Some walked small sections and some did about half the walk. Jerry, Casey, Amber, myself, and a good friend, Angie, felt challenged to take on the whole 13 1/2 mile walk. God blessed us with really good weather; could of done without the mosquitos we encountered at the beginning of the walk though. It did get really hard during the last quarter of the walk, and my prayers were getting less and less because my body started to really hurt, and the it started to get hot, and I was just trying to make it to the end. Some of my prayers at that point were for God's help so we could all finish strong. I started to remember Joshua 1:3. It encouraged me because I knew that God was blessing the work I was doing for him. He knew my heart and knew my purpose for being out there. It reminded me that when I become to tired to pray that Jesus is there praying to God on my behalf. I believe that God's Holy Spirit radiated from me to the places surrounding where I set my feet.
I have really developed a love for prayer walking. You really get to see things in your community that you usually miss; you get a whole new perspective. As I walked over bridges I thought of the homeless that I know live under some of the bridges. It is easy to not think about them as your driving over, focused on getting to your destination, and getting there safely. When you take the time to walk you get the opportunity to really take in all the beauty that God has created. It left me wondering how many people go through their day and take for granted the beauty that God has placed around them. The beauty that he has created for us to enjoy. Prayer walking helps you to get to know your community better. Prayer walking is a really good way to spend some quality time with God; talking with him or just watching and listening for whatever he wants you see or hear. Prayer walking is a good way to get
yourself in shape physically, and spiritually.
I plan to do more prayer walking over the rest of the summer and during the fall. I believe that God is going to do some big and exciting things in the community and for our church during our efforts to help grow his Church.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Prayer walking
I was at a small group at my Pastors house last Sunday. I was inspired by a video that we watched. The guy on the video was talking about a prayer walk he went on to cirlce an area with prayer. I have been on a walking program to get fit and felt challenged to do this. What I really felt challenged to do was to walk a circle of prayer around the 2 mile radius of my church that we are focusing on reaching out to. Until that path gets figured out, God told me to make my walking route in my neighborhood a prayer walk, so I did. The first time, I prayed for a short while and then listened to the Christian music on my ipod for the rest of the walk. I had run out of things to pray about. I shared with my Pastor that I had prayer walked my neighborhood and he gave me a pamphlet to use to guide me in my prayers. So the next day I took that pamphlet with me on my walk. I took my ipod, too, because I figured I would get through that pamphlet quickly and would listen to music on the rest of the walk. Well, that little pamphlet got me through my enitre walk. My walk lasted 74 minutes! I have never prayed for that long before. That pamphlet really inspired my prayers. There was only one brief moment when I didn't pray because I was being quiet before God to hear the sounds he wanted me to hear. It felt good to pray and spend that much time with God.
Early in my prayer I had prayed for awareness. Specifically to be aware of the people God puts in my path and to not miss out the opportunities he gives me. Well, shortly after I prayed that I met up with a lady who was just coming out of her house with her baby to take a walk of her own. We smiled at each other and she let me walk in front of her. So, we walked like that for a while; her behind me and me praying quietly. I always turn down the courts when I come to them and so when the next one came I turned and when I got back on the original street she was now in front of me. We walked like that through most of the rest of my walk. She just kept turning down the streets that I was already planning to turn down. We came up to the catwalk that I usually walk down and I kind of laughed at myself when she turned down it. I thought to myself that she is going to think I am following her. As I turned on to that catwalk, God put in my mind that she was in my path. It was then that the light bulb went on. She was a person God put in my path and he was not letting me miss this opportunity. So I began to pray for her and her baby. Nothing specific came to mind. I just prayed a blessing on her and for God to reveal himself to her if she did not already know him, so that she could raise that baby to know him. She was still in front of me for a little while longer. Then at a corner she stopped to attend to her baby and I ended up catching up to her. It was then that we exchanged a couple of friendly words and the we went our separate ways. It was just a really cool experience. It was an answer to prayer; an opportunity for me to pray for someone specifically and to show her a little kindness. Beautiful weather, the beautiful sounds of God's creation, over 8,000 steps, an intimate time with God, an answered prayer, an unmissed opportunity; I could not have had a better walk.
Thank you, God!
Early in my prayer I had prayed for awareness. Specifically to be aware of the people God puts in my path and to not miss out the opportunities he gives me. Well, shortly after I prayed that I met up with a lady who was just coming out of her house with her baby to take a walk of her own. We smiled at each other and she let me walk in front of her. So, we walked like that for a while; her behind me and me praying quietly. I always turn down the courts when I come to them and so when the next one came I turned and when I got back on the original street she was now in front of me. We walked like that through most of the rest of my walk. She just kept turning down the streets that I was already planning to turn down. We came up to the catwalk that I usually walk down and I kind of laughed at myself when she turned down it. I thought to myself that she is going to think I am following her. As I turned on to that catwalk, God put in my mind that she was in my path. It was then that the light bulb went on. She was a person God put in my path and he was not letting me miss this opportunity. So I began to pray for her and her baby. Nothing specific came to mind. I just prayed a blessing on her and for God to reveal himself to her if she did not already know him, so that she could raise that baby to know him. She was still in front of me for a little while longer. Then at a corner she stopped to attend to her baby and I ended up catching up to her. It was then that we exchanged a couple of friendly words and the we went our separate ways. It was just a really cool experience. It was an answer to prayer; an opportunity for me to pray for someone specifically and to show her a little kindness. Beautiful weather, the beautiful sounds of God's creation, over 8,000 steps, an intimate time with God, an answered prayer, an unmissed opportunity; I could not have had a better walk.
Thank you, God!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Endings and Beginnings
I had been counting the days when I could finally say BSF is done. I have decided that this will be my last year in the program. I need to be more focused on my church. We are trying to make some changes; trying to think more outside of the church building. We need to reach out to the community around us, build relationships, reach out to the hurting and lost; do the job God has called us to do, and in the process we are looking forward to watching our church grow in numbers as well as spiritually. I have been feeling very passionate about this. I don't want people to miss out on the family, love, and support that comes from being a part of a church. I want to be part of teaching and growing the children of our community. That has been the most rewarding part of teaching at BSF. I am continually amazed and thrilled when I see the spiritual, mental and physical growth that takes place in the children I teach; even in the smallest baby. BSF has a wonderful children's program, and I want to take what I have learned there and apply it to my church.
Today was the last day of teaching at BSF. I went in this morning ready to face this final day so that I can start this new journey that God has for me. Before morning prayers, my Children's Supervisor shared an email she received from a mom of a child in the program. That is when the tears started to roll down my face. During the prayers the tears started to come more steadily. Before going to the preclass prayer childcare room to pick up the kids for my class, I stopped in another room to grab a kleenex and just broke down. I was really surprised by display of emotions. I had no idea just minutes ago that I was sad about this day, and second, I am not one to cry like that around other people. I am usually pretty good about holding it in. I had to take a couple of minutes to pull myself together before I could enter my classroom. Someone asked me if I was changing my mind about quitting and the answer to that is no. I truly believe that this is the plan God has for me right now. I am going to miss these children and the other leaders, and most of all I am going to miss teaching. We don't have little children in our church right now. We get the occasional visitors, and I have to admit that my heart has not been in teaching them. There is no set routine, no program in place, no time to really build a relationship with them. It usually ends up just being a time of babysitting. It is scarry to think that it could possibly be a while before I get to have a classroom again; before I get the priviage of watching a child grow, and before I can once again here the stories of how a child is really getting it and knowing that I had a part in that.
Music, children and sign language, those are the things in life that I am passionate about. God, help me to be patient as I wait on your plan for these things in my life. Prepare me for the work you have for me to do.
Today was the last day of teaching at BSF. I went in this morning ready to face this final day so that I can start this new journey that God has for me. Before morning prayers, my Children's Supervisor shared an email she received from a mom of a child in the program. That is when the tears started to roll down my face. During the prayers the tears started to come more steadily. Before going to the preclass prayer childcare room to pick up the kids for my class, I stopped in another room to grab a kleenex and just broke down. I was really surprised by display of emotions. I had no idea just minutes ago that I was sad about this day, and second, I am not one to cry like that around other people. I am usually pretty good about holding it in. I had to take a couple of minutes to pull myself together before I could enter my classroom. Someone asked me if I was changing my mind about quitting and the answer to that is no. I truly believe that this is the plan God has for me right now. I am going to miss these children and the other leaders, and most of all I am going to miss teaching. We don't have little children in our church right now. We get the occasional visitors, and I have to admit that my heart has not been in teaching them. There is no set routine, no program in place, no time to really build a relationship with them. It usually ends up just being a time of babysitting. It is scarry to think that it could possibly be a while before I get to have a classroom again; before I get the priviage of watching a child grow, and before I can once again here the stories of how a child is really getting it and knowing that I had a part in that.
Music, children and sign language, those are the things in life that I am passionate about. God, help me to be patient as I wait on your plan for these things in my life. Prepare me for the work you have for me to do.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
1 Peter 5:8-11
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.
I wrote the other day about a dream I had, then yesterday I decided to look up the lion in the bible and came across this verse. God talks to us in many different ways and I truly believe that he talked to me in this dream. This verse totally confirmed it. He was showing me in my dream that I do have the power to be self-controlled and alert. I can resist him and stand firm in my faith. I did that my not being afraid in my dream. I watched as he flew in and out of the room and I continued to tell him to leave me alone. God showed me that He has given me the power to defeat the attack of the enemy when I closed my had around that lion's nose, stopped his roaring, looked him straight in the eyes and told him "in the name of Jesus, leave me alone."
God showed me that I am really not alone in this, even though it sometimes feels like that, when in my dream I warned the other person to "watch out, here he comes again."
And God will restore me from this little bout of depression (attack of the enemy), he always does. I believe that I am finally reaching a place in my faith that I can remember to turn to that promise instead of wallowing in the defeated, depressive state that the devil tries to keep me in.
Thinking of that dream and reading those verses puts a renewed hope, passion and excitement in me.
Thank you, God, for always being there for me.
I wrote the other day about a dream I had, then yesterday I decided to look up the lion in the bible and came across this verse. God talks to us in many different ways and I truly believe that he talked to me in this dream. This verse totally confirmed it. He was showing me in my dream that I do have the power to be self-controlled and alert. I can resist him and stand firm in my faith. I did that my not being afraid in my dream. I watched as he flew in and out of the room and I continued to tell him to leave me alone. God showed me that He has given me the power to defeat the attack of the enemy when I closed my had around that lion's nose, stopped his roaring, looked him straight in the eyes and told him "in the name of Jesus, leave me alone."
God showed me that I am really not alone in this, even though it sometimes feels like that, when in my dream I warned the other person to "watch out, here he comes again."
And God will restore me from this little bout of depression (attack of the enemy), he always does. I believe that I am finally reaching a place in my faith that I can remember to turn to that promise instead of wallowing in the defeated, depressive state that the devil tries to keep me in.
Thinking of that dream and reading those verses puts a renewed hope, passion and excitement in me.
Thank you, God, for always being there for me.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Into Me See By: Tammy Lochridge
Lost, hurting, afraid and alone,
Someone please, into me see:
Love me just the way I am.
Your Spirit comes and fills my soul,
Deep into me sees;
Loves me just the way I am.
God's love flows through to others I meet,
Their hearts cry, into me see;
Love me just the way I am.
Individual relationships with the same Father in Heaven.
A Solitary dance shared in His presence.
No criteria, no pretending, just love me as I am intimacy.
Being intimate involves the mixing of our life with another's, a mingling of souls, a sharing of hearts. God has really been talking to me about the importance of intimacy in all relationships, and it starts with Him. He heard my cry, called me friend, loved me instantly and filled a void in my life. He has allowed me to experience the intimacy I craved and never remember receiving growing up. And with great patience and love He is teaching my how to have intimacy in all of my relationships. He is worthy of my intimate, unashamed love.
I read that in church last Sunday. It was my turn to lead worship and I needed something to say. God really has been talking to me about intimacey and I wanted to share about that. So I wrote that poem just so I could share it on Sunday. But, the intimacy theme has really stuck with me throughout the week. So I want to get back into writing in my blog to share my intimate experiences.
The first time I really became aware of intimacy in relationships this week started on Wednesday night. I had been feeling myself slip back into depression. I had been waking up for a couple of weeks feeling sad. I really don't like feeling sad the moment I wake up. It really started to hit me on Sunday night. My evening did not go as I had planned and it put me in a very negative mood, and the mood carried over into Monday. For a couple of days I wanted to vent to someone, ask for prayer, just reach out. I almost did a couple of times, but you know me, I just don't want to burden anyone with my silly little problems. I just want to avoid intimacy.
Well Wednesday night was a night of prayer at our church. And wouldn't you know it, the theme of the night was resting in God (this involves intimacy). The whole evening was God designed. As I entered the sanctuary I actually thought about how I wanted my good friend to sit next to me, and wouldn't you know it she did. It was perfect; I had my husband on one side and her on the other.
Part way through the evening Pastor put a chair in the center of the room inviting people to come sit in the chair so he could annoint them and the rest of us could pray for them. Well I was the first one in the chair. I explained that I have been in a funk. I have just been feeling sad, frustrated, angry and the fear of death that I experienced years ago had returned. The thought of death would pop into my mind and my heart would stop, I stop breathing for a moment and my insides just freeze up. The fear literally consumes me. It felt so good having all those people who love me, and who I love dearly, surround me and pray for me. I also had the opportunity to pray for and with others that night. It was a very intimate evening; with everyone there and with God.
Pastor shared a devotional with us that I just loved:
So for us, made (and in Christ remade) in God's image, there remains a rest. In its essence, rest is more than leisure or napping or "time on our hands". God's rest for us involves FREEDOM - to trust, to live out his dream for us, to work, create, play, let go and move on.
The rest God offers is the FREEDOM to be fully present in the moment, free to reflect and enjoy what has been; to let go of the deficits and regrets that wear us down; free to envision what will be, what we are being re-created for; free to unburden ourselves of regretful thoughts about our yesterdays and anxious thoughts about our tomorrows. (The Attentive Life, Leighton Ford, p.178)
As I shared about what I was calling depression, Pastor used the term attack of the enemy. I never think of that. When I am in those moods it is all about this stupid depression I have that I can't seem to control. I beat myself up and allow it to consume me. I realize that is because that is just how the devil wants it. He does not want me to think about standing up against him. He wants intimacy with me and that is exactlly what he gets when I let myself get lost in those moments.
I tend to have dreams that relate with what I am going through. I believe that my dreams tell me alot about myself. I believe that God speaks to me through my dreams. My dreams about my depression (battle with the enemy) usually are very similar. I am usually trying to run away from some dark, shadowy, evil creature. It seems no matter where I go it is there. At times I will work up the courage to stand my ground and fight the creature, and I will defeat the creature long enough to run some more and put some space between us, but it usually finds me again. Well I had a dream last night and it was kind of the same kind of dream but different. I remember that I was in bed. There was someone else in the bed with me, I don't know who. There was this lion, a cartoon-looking lion, that would fly into the room through a closed window, fly over the bed and then fly out through the wall. The lion was not scary looking but I knew it was evil, and I was actually not afraid just more annoyed, I guess. I kept yelling at the thing telling it to leave me alone. When I would see it through the window, making it's way back into the room, I would tell the person next to me to watch out cause here it comes again. At one point it came right up to my face, and I wrapped my hands around his nose, holding its mouth shut so it could not roar at me, and I looked it in the eyes and told it to go away. I told it to go away in the name of Jesus. I have never said the name of Jesus in my dreams before. That was a very encouraging dream.
I was given the opportunity to have an intimate conversation with a friend yesterday. She opened up to me about her battle with depression. I was completely unaware that she was dealing with this issue. Another God designed day; how the conversation started. I shared with her my understanding because of my experience with it. She was just as surprised that this was something I battled with. I believe that our relationship changed because we allowed ourselves to be intimate with each other and share the real us with each other.
I don't know why we try so hard to hide from each other. We are all the same - our issues may be different but we all have them. And it really does feel good when you let someone see the real you and you don't have to work so hard anymore to be so different for so many different people. We all just really want people to "into me see; love me just the way I am.
Someone please, into me see:
Love me just the way I am.
Your Spirit comes and fills my soul,
Deep into me sees;
Loves me just the way I am.
God's love flows through to others I meet,
Their hearts cry, into me see;
Love me just the way I am.
Individual relationships with the same Father in Heaven.
A Solitary dance shared in His presence.
No criteria, no pretending, just love me as I am intimacy.
Being intimate involves the mixing of our life with another's, a mingling of souls, a sharing of hearts. God has really been talking to me about the importance of intimacy in all relationships, and it starts with Him. He heard my cry, called me friend, loved me instantly and filled a void in my life. He has allowed me to experience the intimacy I craved and never remember receiving growing up. And with great patience and love He is teaching my how to have intimacy in all of my relationships. He is worthy of my intimate, unashamed love.
I read that in church last Sunday. It was my turn to lead worship and I needed something to say. God really has been talking to me about intimacey and I wanted to share about that. So I wrote that poem just so I could share it on Sunday. But, the intimacy theme has really stuck with me throughout the week. So I want to get back into writing in my blog to share my intimate experiences.
The first time I really became aware of intimacy in relationships this week started on Wednesday night. I had been feeling myself slip back into depression. I had been waking up for a couple of weeks feeling sad. I really don't like feeling sad the moment I wake up. It really started to hit me on Sunday night. My evening did not go as I had planned and it put me in a very negative mood, and the mood carried over into Monday. For a couple of days I wanted to vent to someone, ask for prayer, just reach out. I almost did a couple of times, but you know me, I just don't want to burden anyone with my silly little problems. I just want to avoid intimacy.
Well Wednesday night was a night of prayer at our church. And wouldn't you know it, the theme of the night was resting in God (this involves intimacy). The whole evening was God designed. As I entered the sanctuary I actually thought about how I wanted my good friend to sit next to me, and wouldn't you know it she did. It was perfect; I had my husband on one side and her on the other.
Part way through the evening Pastor put a chair in the center of the room inviting people to come sit in the chair so he could annoint them and the rest of us could pray for them. Well I was the first one in the chair. I explained that I have been in a funk. I have just been feeling sad, frustrated, angry and the fear of death that I experienced years ago had returned. The thought of death would pop into my mind and my heart would stop, I stop breathing for a moment and my insides just freeze up. The fear literally consumes me. It felt so good having all those people who love me, and who I love dearly, surround me and pray for me. I also had the opportunity to pray for and with others that night. It was a very intimate evening; with everyone there and with God.
Pastor shared a devotional with us that I just loved:
So for us, made (and in Christ remade) in God's image, there remains a rest. In its essence, rest is more than leisure or napping or "time on our hands". God's rest for us involves FREEDOM - to trust, to live out his dream for us, to work, create, play, let go and move on.
The rest God offers is the FREEDOM to be fully present in the moment, free to reflect and enjoy what has been; to let go of the deficits and regrets that wear us down; free to envision what will be, what we are being re-created for; free to unburden ourselves of regretful thoughts about our yesterdays and anxious thoughts about our tomorrows. (The Attentive Life, Leighton Ford, p.178)
As I shared about what I was calling depression, Pastor used the term attack of the enemy. I never think of that. When I am in those moods it is all about this stupid depression I have that I can't seem to control. I beat myself up and allow it to consume me. I realize that is because that is just how the devil wants it. He does not want me to think about standing up against him. He wants intimacy with me and that is exactlly what he gets when I let myself get lost in those moments.
I tend to have dreams that relate with what I am going through. I believe that my dreams tell me alot about myself. I believe that God speaks to me through my dreams. My dreams about my depression (battle with the enemy) usually are very similar. I am usually trying to run away from some dark, shadowy, evil creature. It seems no matter where I go it is there. At times I will work up the courage to stand my ground and fight the creature, and I will defeat the creature long enough to run some more and put some space between us, but it usually finds me again. Well I had a dream last night and it was kind of the same kind of dream but different. I remember that I was in bed. There was someone else in the bed with me, I don't know who. There was this lion, a cartoon-looking lion, that would fly into the room through a closed window, fly over the bed and then fly out through the wall. The lion was not scary looking but I knew it was evil, and I was actually not afraid just more annoyed, I guess. I kept yelling at the thing telling it to leave me alone. When I would see it through the window, making it's way back into the room, I would tell the person next to me to watch out cause here it comes again. At one point it came right up to my face, and I wrapped my hands around his nose, holding its mouth shut so it could not roar at me, and I looked it in the eyes and told it to go away. I told it to go away in the name of Jesus. I have never said the name of Jesus in my dreams before. That was a very encouraging dream.
I was given the opportunity to have an intimate conversation with a friend yesterday. She opened up to me about her battle with depression. I was completely unaware that she was dealing with this issue. Another God designed day; how the conversation started. I shared with her my understanding because of my experience with it. She was just as surprised that this was something I battled with. I believe that our relationship changed because we allowed ourselves to be intimate with each other and share the real us with each other.
I don't know why we try so hard to hide from each other. We are all the same - our issues may be different but we all have them. And it really does feel good when you let someone see the real you and you don't have to work so hard anymore to be so different for so many different people. We all just really want people to "into me see; love me just the way I am.
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