Before I get started I want to let you know that the picture you see was drawn by my sister, Dawn. I asked her to draw this for a binder cover for our 2012 Church of God Ladies Retreat.

So, last weekend was our 2nd annual ladies reteat. As you can see the theme for the weekend was: A Weekend in the Potter's Hand. It was an incredible weekend. I was on an amazing spiritual high all weekend. It even carried over into Monday morning.

Our guest speaker, Pastor Dale Turner, was great. Her talks were very inspirational and she was just one of the girls all weekend long. There was a lot of fun, good singing and good food. We had an amazing view of the lake, and even though it was a bit on the chilly side some of the ladies ventured out into the water on Saturday afternoon.

I have to say that the best part of the weekend was Saturday evening. I stole away by myself for a while. I found a beautiful quiet spot that was almost completely surrounded by trees. I did a little exporing and then sat on a bench and had a wonderful conversation with God. The verse "Be still and know that I am God" kept going through my head. And that is exactly what I did. I cannot even find the right words to describe what that 45 min. I had with God felt like. An overwhelming, almost anxious, feeling of peace came over me. I know that probable does not make sense. I told you I could not find the right words. His love overwhelmed me. I felt like I could just burst with emotion, but I didn't know which emotion to chose. It took everything I had to make myself go back and join the group.

God has been revealing to me that I need to focus on the journey he has me on. I was asked in my BSF fellowship what goal I had hoped to reach this year in BSF. I explained that I don't plan to set a goal. I have discovered that when I plan a goal I try so hard to reach that goal when I think God wants me to or when I want to because I am so tired of the way things are. Of course I never reach the goal in that time because it is not God's time. When I don't reach the goal I allow myself to feel like I have failed and nothing is ever going to change. I get discourage and depressed. I believe it was a big cause of my depression. I also get angry and frustrated. So my goal now is the journey. The retreat weekend confirmed what I had been believing that God was telling me.

Unfortunately, by Monday evening I had let the business of life start to consume me and overwhelm me. I had all intentions to share this wonderful testimony about my weekend at Bible study at my church on Wednesday. But, when I started to share I ended up in tears because I realized that I had forgotten about my wonderful time with God. I had lost the feeling I had all weekend, and I really missed it. I couldn't help myself, I cried all the way through Bible study. I am still feeling the effects of that low and it is Friday already.

I spent part of yesterday and today working on a poem that God inspired me to write. I had learned a lot about what it takes to mold a pot and how it applies to our lives and our relationships with God. I learned a lot about the necessary journey the ball of clay must go through. So I wrote this poem in the perspective of the clay. I hope it inspires you.

CLAY IN THE POTTER'S HANDS
Written by; Tammy Lochridge
September 14, 2012

Here I sit upon this shelf, and ugly ball of clay.
Along with all the others, I wonder, "When will it be my day?"
The Potter soon approaches, which one of us will he choose.
I anxiously await and hope, "Will I be the one he will use?"
Then I feel his firm and gentle hands carefully take me off the shelf.
I am so excited and so afraid, "Just breathe", I tell myself.

He begins to look me over as he turns me in his hands.
Examining each and every detail to see how I will work in his plans.
He carries me to the wheel; in the center I now lay.
If slightly to the left or right; he knows I'll slip away.

The Potter knows what to do to prepare me for this change.
The steps that will expose my flaws and even cause me pain.
Exposing my flaws is important so he can slam and pick them away.
He knows without this pressure an ugly ball of clay I will stay.

My goal is to stay on the wheel; the journey I must go through.
Because without this journey I will never change; this is true.
If somewhere on the journey to much water thins me out.
The Potter can use broken pieces of other pots to make me strong and stout.

Ah, but soon the pressure starts to ease; I can feel his love flow through.
As he begins to shape and mold me; his creative plans coming true.
The journey of shaping and molding is long and has been carefully thought through.
Only the Potter can mold me so perfectly; only the Potter knows what to do.

I was chosen by the Potter; he takes pleasure in watching me grow.
Some day I'll be just perfect, when that is I don't yet know.
If I stay in the center of this wheel through this journey then I know.
I will bring my Creator glory; through me his love will show.

CHURCH The Adventure of a Lifetime.

It is true that you do not need to be a memeber of a church in order to believe in God. But church is so much more than just about believing in God. Church is about growing in your relationship with Christ. Church is a place where lives are transformed; a safe place to examine you life, to work on making necessary changes and, to take those first steps out of your comfort zone. "[Churches] exist to see people transformed from a state of brokeness and selfishness to a state of wholeness and usefulness sometimes called Christlikeness."-Gordon MacDonald. When I take the time to look back on my life and I do a serious inventory I am amazed. That is when I realize that I really am not stuck in the rut that I can allow myself to feel like I am in sometimes. Dodge Park Church (DPC) has been my safe place to transform my life and I am so grateful that God has placed me there. I am not good at remembering time frames but I believe it was about two years after I started attending DPC that God said it was time for me to really examine my life. I found some tremendous love and support during that process at DPC. It is not easy to step back and see that person you really are, but a necessary step in order to grow in your relationship with Christ. Then comes the process of change; turning from sin and developing a personality that is more like Christ's. This requires alot of work and determination. Within the church, fellow Christians understand and encourage one another. When you start to feel like change is just more work that you can handle, or when your old ways start to look easier and more comfortable; your sister or brother in Christ is there to give you a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a an encouraging hug and a loving kick in the butt to get you moving in the right direction again. Then there is the prayer support that comes in abundance. Church is a family; DPC is my family. Yes, just like in a family there are disagreements, hardships and sorrows but we forgive each other, stand by each other, love each other and never give up. Stepping out of your comfort zone; that is a heart-pounding-so-hard-that-you-feel-like-your-heart-will-pop-right-out-of-chest process. Church is a place to find opportunities to experience that heart-pounding feeling. In DPC I found opportunities to do things I never imagined I would have the courage to do. The best part is, I was able to try things like teaching, leading and reaching out to the community even though I had no experience. I was given the grace to make mistakes and learn from them. All I needed was a passion; even just an interest really, to try a new job for Christ, to see if it fit for me. Yeah, I use to think I didn't need church. Now I can not imaging trying to live life without DPC. People need church, and you can't just be an off-and-on visitor of a church. No, you need to be a full time, whole-hearted member of a church in order to experience the adventure of a lifetime. I am so thankful to be an active part of the process DPC is going through in order to discover our Kingdom Potential so that we can grow as a church. I want everyone to experience the adventure of church and a life filled with Christ. And let me tell you, an adventure it truly is. It is an amazing thing to experience God's hand at work in your life! God gives you purpose. He makes life interesting. With God the adventure never ends. There is always something new to learn and you never stop growing and experiencing life when God is a part of it. Thank you God for your faithfulness, your patience and grace. Thank you God for your uncondtional love and for your forgiveness. Thank you God for the gift of Jesus so that I could journey through life with you by my side. Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice! With all my love in Jesus' name Amen.

Lead Me by Sanctus Real

This was a Father's day performace at my church, Dodge Park Church. This was the first one we did with all four of us and I loved every minute of it. The extra cool part about this performance was that the guitar player from Sanctus Real just happen to come to church with his wife to visit family that day.

Life's choices

A littler reminder that I received from God while reading my BSF notes. I wrote down some of the things that I highlighted in the notes in the order they were in the notes. When I read them together I was surprised at how well they flowed together. It was like a special letter written just for me. I wanted to share that with you.

God's triumph in the battle has already been decided. A Christian's life is a matter of daily putting off old nature. The battle requires strength beyond our own. God also commands strength training for his people. Sometimes we choose to be weak, deciding this is the easiest way to live. Actually, the easy life is empty, boring, frustration, unsatisfying, fruitless, and meaningless; it is contrary to the essential character God planned for us. God created us with the desire to meet and overcome obstacles, to enjoy the fruit of success after toil and to feel the thrill of adventure in full confidence that he is with us and will lead us to share victory with him. An unstable person is ineffective in a battle. He falls before the fight begins. His prayer and closing word is that they may have God's peace, love and faith, and that they may live in the lavish grace that belongs to those who love our Lord Jesus Christ.

I also wanted to share a Bible passage I read as part of the lesson.

"...testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I have a tendency to choose to be weak. And trust me, it is exactly like the notes described it. It is frustration because I really do desire to overcome obstacles. I really want to enjoy the fruit of success and the thrill of adventure in full confidence.

For reasons that I am not sure I have figured out yet, I become overwhelmed and scared. My first thought is to just shut down and shut everyone out. I am convinced that I will fail. I think that I even go as far as sabotaging myself.

I don't want to be unstable anymore. I want to be strong and confident. I will only develop these quality through Perseverance.

I am always trying to be involved, searching for what will give me the adventure and satisfaction. I do it so much that I become overwhelmed and I lose sight of the places where God has put me that really do satisfy me, and provide me with the adventure and the enjoyment of the fruit. I try to rely on my own strength.

It is time to really simplify my life. I need to prune away the dead parts of me. I need to remove the things that are not necessarily bad but take away from me the energy and focus I need in order be where God wants me to be. I need to be held accountable so I can develop the discipline that I need in order to experience life with peace and joy.

I am chosing to be strong. I am chosing to persevere. I am chosing adventure. I am chosing to stop fighting God. I am so done with the unstable and weak life. I am chosing to stand firm. I am chosing to trust and have faith.

Purpose driven

Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul Talked on and on. When he was sound asleep, he fell to the ground from the third story and was picked up dead. Paul went down, threw himself on the young man and put his arms around him. "Don't be alarmed," he said. "He's alive!" Then he went upstairs again and broke bread and ate. Acts 20: 9-11

Paul had a purpose, to teach the people about Jesus. He knew he had to leave the next day so he talked to the people until midnight. Paul was purpose driven but not so much to miss the purpose of the moment. He paused from his teaching to do what God wanted him to do in that moment. That was to bring Eutychus back from the dead.

We need to keep our eye on the goal that God has for us. We need to persevere through all the trials and disruptions that will come our way to make sure we accomplish what God has for us to do. We need to becareful though. We can not be so focused on that one goal to miss the other things that God wants us to do along the way. We need take life one breath at a time; be in the moment. Always be in prayer, seeking God's guidance.

I know that I am guilty of being so determined to reach a goal that I stop being aware of what is going on around be. I can become so frustrated when things don't go the way I think that they should. I want to be in control to make sure that things go the way that I think they should.

It all boils down to being flexible for God and having complete trust that God has every moment of your day in his control. He has a purpose for every part of our lives. Whether it is to teach us, correct us, change us or help us grow. He uses us to reach out to other for him. Every moment counts.

Christ the Center

The sermon at church today was very interesting. It is so cool how God works; how when we are struggling with something he finds all kinds of ways to talk to us about it. Today it was in my Pastor's sermon.

The church is not a come-to place. Our mission is to go out into the real world and interact with it. This is what I have been feeling; I don't want to just come to church and just be with church people. I don't want to just live the church life. I want to live the real life. I don't want to keep Jesus to myself in my church. I want to take him into the real world and reveal him to everyone.

This is where Christ the Center is so important. If I don't keep Christ the absolute center of my life then I will never find the confidence to do this assignment that God has given me. If I don't keep Christ the absolute center of my life than fear and doubt will continue to take control.

I want to follow in Jesus' footsteps. I want to leave my comfort zone and step out into worlds unknown with confidence that God is with me every step of the way.

Christ the Center
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation. The old has gone, the new has come.

Taking Care of my life source

“I know Jesus live in my heart, because when I put my hand on it I can feel him walking around in there.” -From the book "God is Closer Than You Think" by John Ortberg.

I am truly thankful for each and every beat of my heart. It is my life source. It is so very important. We know that without it's beats we could not survive. Half of the time we are not even aware of our heart. So many of us don't even think about what we need to do to take care of our heart. We just live our lives and take it for granted that our heart will keep beating; giving us life. The times that we notice our heart the most is when it is breaking or when our heart is sick. It is then when we are sorry for not doing everthing we could to take care of our heart. But if we are careful to always be aware and do the best that we can, we can save ourselves from the feelings of regret.

Jesus' spirit lives in our heart. It is because of Jesus that we can live forever with God in heaven. Jesus is our life source. Just as we need to take care of our heart so we can live a long healthy life on this earth, we need to take care of our relationship with Jesus so we can live an eternity with Him. Just as we take our heart for granted it is so easy to take Jesus for granted. You ask Him into your life and He promises to never leave you nor forsake you. We need to be very careful to always be aware of Jesus. We have to make every effort to enter into his rest. We have to take care of our relationship with Him. Because if we are not careful we could find ourselves one day just living our lives and taking for granted that our Jesus will always be there; giving us life. He doesn't want us to just think of him when our lives are falling apart or when someone we love is sick. He wants to be close to us everyday.

I am working really hard this year to spend more time with my beloved friend and Savior. I want to always be aware of His footsteps on my heart. I need to spend more time with His word, and I am trying to remember to talk to Him about every part of my day. I know that the closer I get to Him the more I will trust Him and the more confidence I will build. The biggest desire that I have is to reach out to others more for him. This is a scary thought for me. A thought that I am not real comfortable with. But it is a desire that is growing more and more in me each day. I think that is why I feel so much discontent when it comes to my spiritual life. I have taught Kid's church, and I teach a preschool bible study now. I have lead women's groups and I sing in the choir and I am on the praise team. Those are all great ways to share about God and His love for His children but they are safe and easy ways of doing it. The people come to me. I want to go out and reach the hard to reach. That is what I loved about the EACH campaign I was a part of last spring. It forced me out of my comfort zone; made me go up to complete strangers and share a little with them about God's love. I want more of that. I think it might be time for a new season in my life.

Christ the Center.
2 Corinthitans 5:17
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has gone, the new has come.