Before I get started I want to let you know that the picture you see was drawn by my sister, Dawn. I asked her to draw this for a binder cover for our 2012 Church of God Ladies Retreat.

So, last weekend was our 2nd annual ladies reteat. As you can see the theme for the weekend was: A Weekend in the Potter's Hand. It was an incredible weekend. I was on an amazing spiritual high all weekend. It even carried over into Monday morning.

Our guest speaker, Pastor Dale Turner, was great. Her talks were very inspirational and she was just one of the girls all weekend long. There was a lot of fun, good singing and good food. We had an amazing view of the lake, and even though it was a bit on the chilly side some of the ladies ventured out into the water on Saturday afternoon.

I have to say that the best part of the weekend was Saturday evening. I stole away by myself for a while. I found a beautiful quiet spot that was almost completely surrounded by trees. I did a little exporing and then sat on a bench and had a wonderful conversation with God. The verse "Be still and know that I am God" kept going through my head. And that is exactly what I did. I cannot even find the right words to describe what that 45 min. I had with God felt like. An overwhelming, almost anxious, feeling of peace came over me. I know that probable does not make sense. I told you I could not find the right words. His love overwhelmed me. I felt like I could just burst with emotion, but I didn't know which emotion to chose. It took everything I had to make myself go back and join the group.

God has been revealing to me that I need to focus on the journey he has me on. I was asked in my BSF fellowship what goal I had hoped to reach this year in BSF. I explained that I don't plan to set a goal. I have discovered that when I plan a goal I try so hard to reach that goal when I think God wants me to or when I want to because I am so tired of the way things are. Of course I never reach the goal in that time because it is not God's time. When I don't reach the goal I allow myself to feel like I have failed and nothing is ever going to change. I get discourage and depressed. I believe it was a big cause of my depression. I also get angry and frustrated. So my goal now is the journey. The retreat weekend confirmed what I had been believing that God was telling me.

Unfortunately, by Monday evening I had let the business of life start to consume me and overwhelm me. I had all intentions to share this wonderful testimony about my weekend at Bible study at my church on Wednesday. But, when I started to share I ended up in tears because I realized that I had forgotten about my wonderful time with God. I had lost the feeling I had all weekend, and I really missed it. I couldn't help myself, I cried all the way through Bible study. I am still feeling the effects of that low and it is Friday already.

I spent part of yesterday and today working on a poem that God inspired me to write. I had learned a lot about what it takes to mold a pot and how it applies to our lives and our relationships with God. I learned a lot about the necessary journey the ball of clay must go through. So I wrote this poem in the perspective of the clay. I hope it inspires you.

CLAY IN THE POTTER'S HANDS
Written by; Tammy Lochridge
September 14, 2012

Here I sit upon this shelf, and ugly ball of clay.
Along with all the others, I wonder, "When will it be my day?"
The Potter soon approaches, which one of us will he choose.
I anxiously await and hope, "Will I be the one he will use?"
Then I feel his firm and gentle hands carefully take me off the shelf.
I am so excited and so afraid, "Just breathe", I tell myself.

He begins to look me over as he turns me in his hands.
Examining each and every detail to see how I will work in his plans.
He carries me to the wheel; in the center I now lay.
If slightly to the left or right; he knows I'll slip away.

The Potter knows what to do to prepare me for this change.
The steps that will expose my flaws and even cause me pain.
Exposing my flaws is important so he can slam and pick them away.
He knows without this pressure an ugly ball of clay I will stay.

My goal is to stay on the wheel; the journey I must go through.
Because without this journey I will never change; this is true.
If somewhere on the journey to much water thins me out.
The Potter can use broken pieces of other pots to make me strong and stout.

Ah, but soon the pressure starts to ease; I can feel his love flow through.
As he begins to shape and mold me; his creative plans coming true.
The journey of shaping and molding is long and has been carefully thought through.
Only the Potter can mold me so perfectly; only the Potter knows what to do.

I was chosen by the Potter; he takes pleasure in watching me grow.
Some day I'll be just perfect, when that is I don't yet know.
If I stay in the center of this wheel through this journey then I know.
I will bring my Creator glory; through me his love will show.