Retirement As long as you are still breathing, you are here for a reason. You have a purpose to influence others for Christ. Our work is not always tied to a paycheck.
I hear stories of people who have retired and then they feel like they start to wonder what their purpose on this earth is anymore. They start to struggle with feeling like they are just contributing anymore. But, God tells us otherwise. "As long as you are still breathing, you are here for a reason."
I am far from the age of retirement. But I still struggle at times with my purpose here on earth sometimes. I am a stay-at-home mom, have been for over 15 years now, and I have a very part-time job cleaning the church I am a member of. My days are pretty repetitious and the work I do can be frustrating at times. My kids don't need me to do for them as much anymore. They are discovering their independence, and our relationships have changed. I'm finding the teenage years to be quite a challenge for me.
I can get so tired of cleaning. You put all the time and energy into the task, you look around when the task is complete with a sense of accomplishment, order and peace, and then someone comes into the room and all of your efforts are erased by one single muddy footprint on your clean floor...ugh! What was the point in doing all of that work! And you find yourself doing the job all over again.
We all have jobs like this, not just stay-at-home-moms. Everyone; young, old, men and women. We all have jobs to do in our lives that feel pointless at times. I think the frustration that comes with our jobs can be stronger when a paycheck in not involved. Then you can really feel like all your hard work is for nothing and like you are not contributing to your family.
Colossians 3:23-24 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
All of God's work is important, and if you love and believe in God; if you live your life to glorify and honor God, then EVERYTHING you do is work for God. He has a plan and a purpose for every single second you live on this earth.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
You are contributing to God's plan and purpose, and your reward is waiting for you in heaven.
2Timmothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
A friend of mine died early yesterday morning. She was an example of 2Timothy 4:7. She was my choir buddy, and she helped me a lot to hit notes I was struggling with and helped me to understand parts of the music (I was never taught how to read music so I was really lost sometimes). I really didn't spend much time with her outside of church, so there are parts of her life that I don't know much about. But she was a great inspiration to me. She fought the good fight faithfully and she did it with a smile on her face; every time I saw her. She had been battling with cancer for a couple years, and I know that she had days of great struggle. What I was blessed with seeing was a woman who was strong in her faith. She would come to church on Sunday wearing a beautiful smile, even on days when she was not feeling her best. She was faithful to serve in the choir, and to help with the coffee station, always with a smile. I believe she believed in God's plan and trusted him completely, even though I am sure she wasn't happy about it at times. She lived her life with a purpose. She did not stop doing the jobs that God gave her to do, no matter how small.
God, help me to give up the attitude that can come with "retirement." Help me to trust in your plan and purpose for my life and to live it out always with a smile on my face. Help me to always do my work for you with all of heart and soul. Help me to live the example that you have given me through Esther. Help me to be the inspiration to others that she was to me. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name. Amen.
Monday, February 23, 2015
Saturday, February 21, 2015
40 Things To Give Up for Lent: Number Four
Impatience God's timing is the perfect timing.
Romans 8:28 And we Know that for those who love God, all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose.
When I am just kind of looking on the surface of things, I would say I'm a pretty patient person. I look at the impatience of some of the people in this world and I think I am so much better than them in the area of patience. That may be true in some cases. But when I really look, when I really pay attention to my reactions throughout the day, I see that I really need some work in the area of patience.
I can become very impatient about God's timing; waiting for answers to prayer, the amount of time he wants me to spend with him, the things he asks me to do sometimes.
I am very impatient with myself. This is how I want to be, this is how I should be, and it should be now. I should heal just as fast as some others do. Who cares about the accomplishments I have already made. Who cares that I am growing and becoming stronger every day. I'm not where I see myself at, now.
I love this part in the eDevotion today: "In 1 Timothy 4:7, the Apostle Paul says, 'Train yourself to be godly.' Training is pushing ourselves to what we can today so that we can do tomorrow what we can't do today. Growth is a process that takes time and does not happen overnight. Be patient with yourself. You are on the way. Don't be in a rush to get there. Enjoy the journey."
Patience towards others, especially loved ones, is another hard one for me. I want them to do what I want them to do when I want them to do it.
All of this impatience leaves me emotionally and spiritually drained, and leaves me very emotional. Even when it happens in "my timing" I am still drained and bitter. Impatience is self-centered. Impatience takes away our love, compassion and ability to see what is going on in the world around us.
Lord, I give you my impatience. Help me to stay focused on you and trust in you so that I can see your hand at work; so I can see just how perfect your patient plan is. Help me to set the example of your loving patience and understanding to others. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Romans 8:28 And we Know that for those who love God, all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose.
When I am just kind of looking on the surface of things, I would say I'm a pretty patient person. I look at the impatience of some of the people in this world and I think I am so much better than them in the area of patience. That may be true in some cases. But when I really look, when I really pay attention to my reactions throughout the day, I see that I really need some work in the area of patience.
I can become very impatient about God's timing; waiting for answers to prayer, the amount of time he wants me to spend with him, the things he asks me to do sometimes.
I am very impatient with myself. This is how I want to be, this is how I should be, and it should be now. I should heal just as fast as some others do. Who cares about the accomplishments I have already made. Who cares that I am growing and becoming stronger every day. I'm not where I see myself at, now.
I love this part in the eDevotion today: "In 1 Timothy 4:7, the Apostle Paul says, 'Train yourself to be godly.' Training is pushing ourselves to what we can today so that we can do tomorrow what we can't do today. Growth is a process that takes time and does not happen overnight. Be patient with yourself. You are on the way. Don't be in a rush to get there. Enjoy the journey."
Patience towards others, especially loved ones, is another hard one for me. I want them to do what I want them to do when I want them to do it.
All of this impatience leaves me emotionally and spiritually drained, and leaves me very emotional. Even when it happens in "my timing" I am still drained and bitter. Impatience is self-centered. Impatience takes away our love, compassion and ability to see what is going on in the world around us.
Lord, I give you my impatience. Help me to stay focused on you and trust in you so that I can see your hand at work; so I can see just how perfect your patient plan is. Help me to set the example of your loving patience and understanding to others. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Friday, February 20, 2015
40 Things to Give Up For Lent: Number Three
Feelings of Unworthiness You are fearfully and wonderfully made by your Creator. (See Psalm 139:14)
I have a bad habit of comparing myself with others. I am a people watcher and I observe closely, and I can look at some people and think, "I wish I could do that like he/she can. I wish I was as good at that as he/she is." I find myself thinking about how inadequate, incapable, and unworthy I am to do, say or be a part of something. I did some research, like I have been the last couple of days, of verses that apply to this issue before I read the eDevotion for 40 Things to Give Up For Lent. These are the verses that spoke to me.
2 Corinthians 12:10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Of course, weakness is the word that spoke to me. This reminds me that I am strong in my weaknesses.
Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
A reminder that God is by side. He loves me and sees me worthy enough to strengthen me and help me and hold me up. He doesn't look at me and say, "Come see me when you get over your weaknesses and feelings of unworthiness. I can't use you when you are like this." No, his power is made perfect in our weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." You are worthy. I am worthy.
There was a lot in the eDevotion that I could relate to. So, instead of babbling on about myself, I thought I would just quote parts of Pastor Phil Ressler's devotion.
"A child needs the affirmation of their father. But many times that affirmation is not there. the father may be absent or it may be that their father never told how proud he was of them. He was quick to criticize, but slow to affirm. When that child grows older, they will continue to search for the blessing of their father. But they continue to live with a void. Maybe you can relate. You desire love, respect, acceptance, or approval. But you don't feel worthy."
I know that feeling of desiring the love, respect, acceptance and approval that I did not get from my dad. I hope and expect others to give me what I didn't get from my dad and most of the time I walk away disappointed and hurt. That is not by the fault of the person I reached out to. It is impossible for them to fill that void. There is only one who can fill that void, and to be honest I struggle with trusting that he can accomplish it either. I guess I compare my Heavenly Father to my earthly father. Even though I know I shouldn't. That is one of the goals of becoming a healthier me; that I would believe that I am as precious as God sees me.
More from the eDevotion:
"But these are lies that come straight out of the pit of hell. You are worthy enough because Jesus died for you. You need to know that you are the most beautiful, the most precious, and the most prized part of his creation. Your Heavenly Father is proud of you. More than you realize! You are worthy because you are his precious child, redeemed by the blood of Jesus."
Pastor Phil suggested writing a love letter to yourself to tell yourself how much God loves you and what you mean to him. That reminded me of letter I wrote to myself as a women's group assignment. We were reading from Created Beautiful from Focus on the Family. This letter was to be about how much God loves every aspect of the body and person he created. I wrote this on October 14, 2008. I want to share that letter with you now:
Beautiful daughter,
I just wanted to write you this letter to help you understand that you are wonderfully made. Your physical appearance is very unique and special. You are just the way I imagined you would be. I only create what is pleasing to me. I made your physical appearance in a way that would and does please the man that I created to be your husband.
Your physical appearance is not what I focus on, it is your inner beauty. You have a sincere heart and desire to live your life for me. You have a very caring heart. You have such a strong determination to turn your life experiences into learning experiences, and that helps you to grow, and I have seen you change and grow a lot over the years. That is what makes you beautiful.
Your physical appearance in temporary and always changing, and as hard as you might try, you can't stop those changes. Your outer shell is just something people see. Your inner beauty, your spirit, that is what they feel. Don't be so afraid to just let go, let the love I have for you shine through. Let people see Jesus in your heart. If you show them that then they will always see the beauty I see. Now, remember people are people, some might not appreciate what they see, but they will see it.
Your loving Designer,
God
Wow, what a reminder for me. Also, a reminder that when you do a project like this you really need to pull it out every little while and read it for encouragement.
Dear Tammy,
It is important that you separate the relationship that you had with your dad from the relationship you have with you Heavenly Father, God. You need to remind yourself everyday, by reading your bible and spending quiet time with God, just how much God loves you. He is faithful and trustworthy. He will always love you and never let you down.
You really have struggled a lot over the years with emotions, and you have allowed yourself to put your trust in those emotions. I am so glad that you are taking some new steps to find healing. You are processing like you have never done before, and it is stirring up the emotions. It feels redundant and at times pointless. But it is necessary, it is real, own it, and remember that God is holding your hand and guiding you along the way. And even when you make mistakes, because you will, God will still love you, and he will help you get right back on track. Let him work in your life. Trust in his ways and in his timing because they are perfect. He is the only one who can and will fill the void in your heart, and he wants to so let him. Stay strong and lean of God.
With all my love and understanding,
Me
God, I thank you for your faithfulness and trustworthiness. Thank you for the gift of your Son so that I could have a relationship with you. I know that you are always by my side, even in the times that I don't acknowledge you. I could not imagine doing life without you. Thank you for reminders of how precious I am to you. For reminders that you can and do use me in spite of my human weaknesses. You tell me I am worthy; worthy of your love, worthy enough for you to use me in the plans that you have for us all. You give me talents and gifts that I can use, and do use to give you glory, and to honor you. I give to you today, along with my fear of failure, and fear of stepping out of my comfort zone; my feelings of unworthiness. I know that those feelings go against how you feel about and see me. You created me and you only create what is good, pleasing, and beautiful, and worthy. Help me to always remember that truth and to ignore the lies of Satan.
With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen!
I have a bad habit of comparing myself with others. I am a people watcher and I observe closely, and I can look at some people and think, "I wish I could do that like he/she can. I wish I was as good at that as he/she is." I find myself thinking about how inadequate, incapable, and unworthy I am to do, say or be a part of something. I did some research, like I have been the last couple of days, of verses that apply to this issue before I read the eDevotion for 40 Things to Give Up For Lent. These are the verses that spoke to me.
2 Corinthians 12:10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Of course, weakness is the word that spoke to me. This reminds me that I am strong in my weaknesses.
Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
A reminder that God is by side. He loves me and sees me worthy enough to strengthen me and help me and hold me up. He doesn't look at me and say, "Come see me when you get over your weaknesses and feelings of unworthiness. I can't use you when you are like this." No, his power is made perfect in our weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." You are worthy. I am worthy.
There was a lot in the eDevotion that I could relate to. So, instead of babbling on about myself, I thought I would just quote parts of Pastor Phil Ressler's devotion.
"A child needs the affirmation of their father. But many times that affirmation is not there. the father may be absent or it may be that their father never told how proud he was of them. He was quick to criticize, but slow to affirm. When that child grows older, they will continue to search for the blessing of their father. But they continue to live with a void. Maybe you can relate. You desire love, respect, acceptance, or approval. But you don't feel worthy."
I know that feeling of desiring the love, respect, acceptance and approval that I did not get from my dad. I hope and expect others to give me what I didn't get from my dad and most of the time I walk away disappointed and hurt. That is not by the fault of the person I reached out to. It is impossible for them to fill that void. There is only one who can fill that void, and to be honest I struggle with trusting that he can accomplish it either. I guess I compare my Heavenly Father to my earthly father. Even though I know I shouldn't. That is one of the goals of becoming a healthier me; that I would believe that I am as precious as God sees me.
More from the eDevotion:
"But these are lies that come straight out of the pit of hell. You are worthy enough because Jesus died for you. You need to know that you are the most beautiful, the most precious, and the most prized part of his creation. Your Heavenly Father is proud of you. More than you realize! You are worthy because you are his precious child, redeemed by the blood of Jesus."
Pastor Phil suggested writing a love letter to yourself to tell yourself how much God loves you and what you mean to him. That reminded me of letter I wrote to myself as a women's group assignment. We were reading from Created Beautiful from Focus on the Family. This letter was to be about how much God loves every aspect of the body and person he created. I wrote this on October 14, 2008. I want to share that letter with you now:
Beautiful daughter,
I just wanted to write you this letter to help you understand that you are wonderfully made. Your physical appearance is very unique and special. You are just the way I imagined you would be. I only create what is pleasing to me. I made your physical appearance in a way that would and does please the man that I created to be your husband.
Your physical appearance is not what I focus on, it is your inner beauty. You have a sincere heart and desire to live your life for me. You have a very caring heart. You have such a strong determination to turn your life experiences into learning experiences, and that helps you to grow, and I have seen you change and grow a lot over the years. That is what makes you beautiful.
Your physical appearance in temporary and always changing, and as hard as you might try, you can't stop those changes. Your outer shell is just something people see. Your inner beauty, your spirit, that is what they feel. Don't be so afraid to just let go, let the love I have for you shine through. Let people see Jesus in your heart. If you show them that then they will always see the beauty I see. Now, remember people are people, some might not appreciate what they see, but they will see it.
Your loving Designer,
God
Wow, what a reminder for me. Also, a reminder that when you do a project like this you really need to pull it out every little while and read it for encouragement.
Dear Tammy,
It is important that you separate the relationship that you had with your dad from the relationship you have with you Heavenly Father, God. You need to remind yourself everyday, by reading your bible and spending quiet time with God, just how much God loves you. He is faithful and trustworthy. He will always love you and never let you down.
You really have struggled a lot over the years with emotions, and you have allowed yourself to put your trust in those emotions. I am so glad that you are taking some new steps to find healing. You are processing like you have never done before, and it is stirring up the emotions. It feels redundant and at times pointless. But it is necessary, it is real, own it, and remember that God is holding your hand and guiding you along the way. And even when you make mistakes, because you will, God will still love you, and he will help you get right back on track. Let him work in your life. Trust in his ways and in his timing because they are perfect. He is the only one who can and will fill the void in your heart, and he wants to so let him. Stay strong and lean of God.
With all my love and understanding,
Me
God, I thank you for your faithfulness and trustworthiness. Thank you for the gift of your Son so that I could have a relationship with you. I know that you are always by my side, even in the times that I don't acknowledge you. I could not imagine doing life without you. Thank you for reminders of how precious I am to you. For reminders that you can and do use me in spite of my human weaknesses. You tell me I am worthy; worthy of your love, worthy enough for you to use me in the plans that you have for us all. You give me talents and gifts that I can use, and do use to give you glory, and to honor you. I give to you today, along with my fear of failure, and fear of stepping out of my comfort zone; my feelings of unworthiness. I know that those feelings go against how you feel about and see me. You created me and you only create what is good, pleasing, and beautiful, and worthy. Help me to always remember that truth and to ignore the lies of Satan.
With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen!
Thursday, February 19, 2015
40 Things To Give Up For Lent; Number Two
Your Comfort Zone: It is outside our comfort zones where new discoveries are made.
When I reflect on my past I can see many places where God has helped me to step out of my comfort zone. With each obedient step that I took God has blessed and changed my life. Because of those steps of obedience I am doing things I love like being a wife and mom, singing my heart out to
God at church, and I get to teach sweet little children every Sunday. With every obedient step I have taken I have discovered a little bit more about God, his desires for me, and I have discovered some things about myself. Some comfort zones are easier to step out of than others, but the end results are always the same. You walk away feeling a great sense of accomplishment. You feel stronger; ready to take on the world. There is that unmistakable sense of victory over the fear that has kept you from stepping over that comfort zone line. You did it and you are ok! There is that peace in knowing that you took that path God wanted you to take, and he walked it with you, helping you along the way.
Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
"Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed", instead "be strong and courageous." It comes back to fear; fear of failure, fear of the unknown. Where we are is very comfortable, even if it is a place that we despise. I know with all of the comfort zone victories that I have had in life there is one big comfort zone line that I am still trying to cross. It is that line of depression. This may sound strange to everyone one that reads this but I am addicted to what comes with being stuck in depression. My whole life I have tried to figure out where I belonged. I grew up with a father who didn't know how to love me. I grew up with a mom who didn't really know how to protect me. I don't blame them, I am not angry. I know that they did the best they knew how to do with what life threw there way. I know how hard it is to be vulnerable and expose yourself to others so that you can reach out for the help that you need. I know how hard it is to take the steps you need to take to step over that comfort zone line and do what you need to do to make the changes you so desire. I know what it is to fear rejection, disappointment, and fear of failure.
As much as I hate the negative self-talk, negative thoughts, and negative emotions that I feel; they are what I know. They are automatic now and instead of throwing the truth back in their faces I find myself resting in their familiar comfortably-uncomfortable arms, afraid of what life will be like without them. I just know that no one will give me the love and attention I crave if there is not a reason to reach out to them for it. I fear I will get lost, become invisible; comfortably-uncomfortable lies. I know this in my head.
2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline.
My life verse. This is the first verse ever given to me. It was given to me by my Pastor when I first opened up to him, when I first opened up to anyone, about things I was feeling. God does not want me to live in fear and feel powerless. God gives me what I need to feel courageous, to show love and to have the self-control to chose what he gives me instead of what Satan gives me. He helps me to chose truth over lies. I can do this, step over that line, even in my weakness. I can embrace the awkward and live the full life God has chosen for me, and so can you!
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Don't give full attention to your fears. Don't trust in that fear; in that uncertainty and doubt. Look to God. Focus on Jesus. He knows the way. He sees the end results. He has carefully marked each step on the path he has chosen for you. He will be your cheerleader and your guide. He is holding your hand, and he understands your feelings. He wants, more than you do, more than you'll ever know, for you to experience the victory of obedience. He wants you to feel that experience of stepping over that comfort zone line. It will feel so uncomfortable. You will feel so inadequate; like such a dork, there will be fear involved, and you may even fail a time or two; just fail forward. Be the example, let others see God working; getting you through to the other side of awkward; to the blessings of obedience.
1Timothy 4:12 Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
From the eDevotion from Good Shepherd Lutheran Church: "The clichéd definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. But moving past what is comfortable is often difficult. We like the familiar and what we know. While many of us love the "idea" of change, what we don't like as much is change itself. We have a way of settling in with familiar patterns. Let's start getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. It's where God is experienced in new ways. It's where life is lived to the fullest and joy is experienced on the journey."
Thank you, God, for helping me to take some new steps out of my comfort zone this year. For being by my side and helping me to become a healthier me in 2015. Along with my fears, I give to you today my struggle with embracing the awkward and the fear of stepping over that comfort zone line. You have helped me so many times in the past to take that step of obedience. Each step of obedience has changed me into the person I am today. Forgive me for the times that I let fear and doubt hold me back; for the times I chose to stay in the comfortably-uncomfortable arms of Satan's lies. Keep my eyes focused on you, focused on truth. Keep me encouraged. Help me to embrace the awkward and fear. I know that I cannot do this without you and I know that with you by my side I will have victory. With all my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
When I reflect on my past I can see many places where God has helped me to step out of my comfort zone. With each obedient step that I took God has blessed and changed my life. Because of those steps of obedience I am doing things I love like being a wife and mom, singing my heart out to
God at church, and I get to teach sweet little children every Sunday. With every obedient step I have taken I have discovered a little bit more about God, his desires for me, and I have discovered some things about myself. Some comfort zones are easier to step out of than others, but the end results are always the same. You walk away feeling a great sense of accomplishment. You feel stronger; ready to take on the world. There is that unmistakable sense of victory over the fear that has kept you from stepping over that comfort zone line. You did it and you are ok! There is that peace in knowing that you took that path God wanted you to take, and he walked it with you, helping you along the way.
Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
"Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed", instead "be strong and courageous." It comes back to fear; fear of failure, fear of the unknown. Where we are is very comfortable, even if it is a place that we despise. I know with all of the comfort zone victories that I have had in life there is one big comfort zone line that I am still trying to cross. It is that line of depression. This may sound strange to everyone one that reads this but I am addicted to what comes with being stuck in depression. My whole life I have tried to figure out where I belonged. I grew up with a father who didn't know how to love me. I grew up with a mom who didn't really know how to protect me. I don't blame them, I am not angry. I know that they did the best they knew how to do with what life threw there way. I know how hard it is to be vulnerable and expose yourself to others so that you can reach out for the help that you need. I know how hard it is to take the steps you need to take to step over that comfort zone line and do what you need to do to make the changes you so desire. I know what it is to fear rejection, disappointment, and fear of failure.
As much as I hate the negative self-talk, negative thoughts, and negative emotions that I feel; they are what I know. They are automatic now and instead of throwing the truth back in their faces I find myself resting in their familiar comfortably-uncomfortable arms, afraid of what life will be like without them. I just know that no one will give me the love and attention I crave if there is not a reason to reach out to them for it. I fear I will get lost, become invisible; comfortably-uncomfortable lies. I know this in my head.
2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline.
My life verse. This is the first verse ever given to me. It was given to me by my Pastor when I first opened up to him, when I first opened up to anyone, about things I was feeling. God does not want me to live in fear and feel powerless. God gives me what I need to feel courageous, to show love and to have the self-control to chose what he gives me instead of what Satan gives me. He helps me to chose truth over lies. I can do this, step over that line, even in my weakness. I can embrace the awkward and live the full life God has chosen for me, and so can you!
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Don't give full attention to your fears. Don't trust in that fear; in that uncertainty and doubt. Look to God. Focus on Jesus. He knows the way. He sees the end results. He has carefully marked each step on the path he has chosen for you. He will be your cheerleader and your guide. He is holding your hand, and he understands your feelings. He wants, more than you do, more than you'll ever know, for you to experience the victory of obedience. He wants you to feel that experience of stepping over that comfort zone line. It will feel so uncomfortable. You will feel so inadequate; like such a dork, there will be fear involved, and you may even fail a time or two; just fail forward. Be the example, let others see God working; getting you through to the other side of awkward; to the blessings of obedience.
1Timothy 4:12 Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
From the eDevotion from Good Shepherd Lutheran Church: "The clichéd definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. But moving past what is comfortable is often difficult. We like the familiar and what we know. While many of us love the "idea" of change, what we don't like as much is change itself. We have a way of settling in with familiar patterns. Let's start getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. It's where God is experienced in new ways. It's where life is lived to the fullest and joy is experienced on the journey."
Thank you, God, for helping me to take some new steps out of my comfort zone this year. For being by my side and helping me to become a healthier me in 2015. Along with my fears, I give to you today my struggle with embracing the awkward and the fear of stepping over that comfort zone line. You have helped me so many times in the past to take that step of obedience. Each step of obedience has changed me into the person I am today. Forgive me for the times that I let fear and doubt hold me back; for the times I chose to stay in the comfortably-uncomfortable arms of Satan's lies. Keep my eyes focused on you, focused on truth. Keep me encouraged. Help me to embrace the awkward and fear. I know that I cannot do this without you and I know that with you by my side I will have victory. With all my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
40 Things to Give up for Lent; Number One
I saw a posting on Facebook today; 40 Things to Give up for Lent: The List by Phil Ressler. I have decided to take each thing from the list everyday and use it as a devotional time because they are all things that I am in need of giving up. I thought this would be another good tool to use toward my goal of becoming a healthier me in 2015.
1. Fear of Failure. You don't succeed without experiencing failure. Just make sure you fail forward.
I love that phrase "fail forward".
I know that I fear failing God, and I fear failing the people I love. I fear failing myself. I fear not being adequate enough to accomplish the tasks I believe God places before me. I fear that people will fail me. There is even a part of me that fears that God will fail me. That is the hardest fear to deal with; the one that causes me to doubt my faith.
Here is the thing (I know this in my head); Other than God failing me, because the Bible tells us that He never will, the rest of it is true. We are human and we are imperfect. We will fail. "Fail Forward"; to me this means that we keep putting our hope and trust in God's power, understanding, forgiveness and love. "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
For someone like me who struggles with doubts and trust issues, I think the best place to start is by putting my trust in the hope. Keep my eyes on Jesus. His trustworthiness will be evident. The evidence of his faithfulness will leave me with no reasons to fear and doubt his abilities. I will be left with no choice but to trust. Having been a Christian for over 10 years now you would think I would have this down by now. But I have issues to work through and scars that I can still feel. I have never really taken the time in the past to really process through the causes and effects of my depression. That is something that I am working hard on this year. I am taking steps that I have never taken before. I am learning to accept my weaknesses and imperfections. I am learning that I do not have the DNA to be God (as my therapist likes to say). He is the only all powerful, perfect being. I have the DNA to fail and that is ok, as long as I fail forward.
"For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity." Proverbs 24:16
God gives us the power to rise again every time we fall. Rise in His power, dust yourself off and move forward. It is ok.
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion." Psalm 73:26
God knows we are human and we are not perfect. The only way we can truly fail God is by turning away from him. He loves us, imperfections and all. Love him. Believe in him and give him your best - your heart-felt best. He accepts you because he loves you. He gives you the gift of grace because he loves you, not because of what, or how you do something for him. Give him your life and give him your best.
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2: 8-9
"More than that, we rejoice sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy spirit who has been given to us". Romans 5: 3-5
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, them I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
That which does not kill us makes us stronger. -Friedrich Nietzsche.
Dear Lord,
I give to you today my fear of failure. Help me to put my trust in your faithfulness and power, and on days when I find that difficult to do in my human heart then help me to put my trust in the hope of your faithfulness and power so that I do not give in to the fear of failure causing me to give up on trying at all. Help me to accept that there will be times when I fail because I am human, and remind me that these times are merely learning experiences and opportunities to grow in my faith and character. Help me to rise in your power, dust myself off, and move forward. Help me to fail forward. With all my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Gift List
53. God's all sufficient power and grace.
1. Fear of Failure. You don't succeed without experiencing failure. Just make sure you fail forward.
I love that phrase "fail forward".
I know that I fear failing God, and I fear failing the people I love. I fear failing myself. I fear not being adequate enough to accomplish the tasks I believe God places before me. I fear that people will fail me. There is even a part of me that fears that God will fail me. That is the hardest fear to deal with; the one that causes me to doubt my faith.
Here is the thing (I know this in my head); Other than God failing me, because the Bible tells us that He never will, the rest of it is true. We are human and we are imperfect. We will fail. "Fail Forward"; to me this means that we keep putting our hope and trust in God's power, understanding, forgiveness and love. "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
For someone like me who struggles with doubts and trust issues, I think the best place to start is by putting my trust in the hope. Keep my eyes on Jesus. His trustworthiness will be evident. The evidence of his faithfulness will leave me with no reasons to fear and doubt his abilities. I will be left with no choice but to trust. Having been a Christian for over 10 years now you would think I would have this down by now. But I have issues to work through and scars that I can still feel. I have never really taken the time in the past to really process through the causes and effects of my depression. That is something that I am working hard on this year. I am taking steps that I have never taken before. I am learning to accept my weaknesses and imperfections. I am learning that I do not have the DNA to be God (as my therapist likes to say). He is the only all powerful, perfect being. I have the DNA to fail and that is ok, as long as I fail forward.
"For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity." Proverbs 24:16
God gives us the power to rise again every time we fall. Rise in His power, dust yourself off and move forward. It is ok.
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion." Psalm 73:26
God knows we are human and we are not perfect. The only way we can truly fail God is by turning away from him. He loves us, imperfections and all. Love him. Believe in him and give him your best - your heart-felt best. He accepts you because he loves you. He gives you the gift of grace because he loves you, not because of what, or how you do something for him. Give him your life and give him your best.
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2: 8-9
"More than that, we rejoice sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy spirit who has been given to us". Romans 5: 3-5
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, them I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
That which does not kill us makes us stronger. -Friedrich Nietzsche.
Dear Lord,
I give to you today my fear of failure. Help me to put my trust in your faithfulness and power, and on days when I find that difficult to do in my human heart then help me to put my trust in the hope of your faithfulness and power so that I do not give in to the fear of failure causing me to give up on trying at all. Help me to accept that there will be times when I fail because I am human, and remind me that these times are merely learning experiences and opportunities to grow in my faith and character. Help me to rise in your power, dust myself off, and move forward. Help me to fail forward. With all my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Gift List
53. God's all sufficient power and grace.
Monday, February 16, 2015
MARRIAGE; A Gift From God
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1Corinthians 13: 4-8,13
Love is a choice.
Love is putting other's needs before yours.
Love is required.
God calls us to love each other.
Where there is love there is hope.
-Words from Pastor TJ's sermon on Sunday, February 15, 2015
Marriage is a God-given gift. A gift given out of pure, sacrificial love. When our marriages are centered on the one who gave us this gift it becomes a gift to family, friends, acquaintances, and to those who just pass through your lives. It becomes a legacy of love; we leave behind the example of God's sacrificial love. A God-centered marriage does not mean an easy, no-brainer marriage. Marriage is work. A God-centered marriage is a choice just like love is a choice. There are highs and there are lows in a marriage. There are days when happiness fills your heart and your spouse is the greatest on the earth; they can do no wrong. But then there are days of sorrow, struggles and even days when your spouse has disappointed you. It hurts the worst when someone you love and trust so dearly disappoints you even just a little. But we are all human and we are not perfect. Marriage is a life-long learning journey. Marriage requires trust and faithfulness in your promise to stand by each other every step of the way. Whether that walk is a joyful, hand-in-hand stroll down a paved, level, beautifully-tree-and-flower-lined path, or a carry each other's load, pick each other up, strenuous hike down a hilly, sun-scorched, in-the-middle-of-nowhere path. As long as you are faithful in seeing it through you will come out at the other end and your marriage will be stronger for it, and you will leave this amazing legacy behind for others to follow. So, don't be embarrassed for others to see some of your struggles. We all have them. Be sure to be faithful to see it through so others will have that hope and encouragement for their own times of struggles.
"Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other. Faithfulness springs forth from the earth, and righteousness looks down from heaven. the Lord will in deed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest. Righteousness goes before him and prepares the way for his steps." Psalm 85: 10-13
We had an all day marriage seminar at our church, Hope Crossing; The Art of Marriage. It was a day filled with inspiring stories, great reminders and humor. I heard comments of couples walking away from the day blessed by the event, of heart-felt conversations between spouses brought on by the event, and some walking away wanting more.
I know for me personally, I wish that we would of had more time. We had moments in the day to break off into private corners of the church to work on projects in our books; a time of intimate sharing between spouse. Well, time is a hard thing to control and we were left with a very small amounts of it to do our projects. Jerry and I felt too rushed to do them so we decided that we would do them on our own as we find time to sit down together. It is my prayer that we don't let life cause us to forget to do these projects. I was however very convicted to do some sharing with Jerry and made sure that conversation happened before we went to bed that night. I always find it difficult to share things with my husband. I don't want to be the cause of anything negative in our marriage. But it is a silly fear that I have because when I do finally open up to him we have wonderful conversations.
We have had our share of struggles, mostly brought on by my battle with depression. I become very self-centered and very needy. I get disappointed easy and then I withdraw. I rationalize, blame and come up with excuses for my behavior. I very rarely voice any of this to him, and I have my "legitimate" reasons why. My unwillingness to open with him has caused him pain. And here is where I need to brag about my husband. He has never stopped loving me. He does the best that he can everyday to be the husband I need him to be. I have always known the importance of open, honest, trust-filled, loving conversations between husbands and wives. This weekend I experienced a true example of why. The more open you are with each other the more you learn about and understand each other. Saturday night, Jerry voiced to me in pretty good detail what I have been feeling with my personal battles. I have been told by many that they understand, and I have been given loads of advice and loads of love, and I appreciate everyone and every effort. But no one has ever been able to share their understanding of me like my husband did the other night. O the peace that brought to my heart. Intimacy is letting someone into a part of your life that no else gets to be a part of. Of course God has to be in every detail. He is whether you want him to or not. But you need to want him to and let him work because he will give you such wonderful gifts and blessings. He is the best friend you will ever have. Next to that, for those who are married, it has to be your spouse. There has to be this special bond, trust and intimacy that is experienced with no one else but your spouse. I have not always been faithful with that order and for that I am sorry. But every breath brings a fresh start. Thank you God!
Gift List:
February 13, 2015
50. Beautiful tokens of love.
February 15, 201551. Strong, God-blessed marriage.
52. A love legacy in the making.
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