40 Things To Give Up For Lent; Number Two

Your Comfort Zone: It is outside our comfort zones where new discoveries are made.

When I reflect on my past I can see many places where God has helped me to step out of my comfort zone. With each obedient step that I took God has blessed and changed my life. Because of those steps of obedience I am doing things I love like being a wife and mom, singing my heart out to
God at church, and I get to teach sweet little children every Sunday. With every obedient step I have taken I have discovered a little bit more about God, his desires for me, and I have discovered some things about myself. Some comfort zones are easier to step out of than others, but the end results are always the same. You walk away feeling a great sense of accomplishment. You feel stronger; ready to take on the world. There is that unmistakable sense of victory over the fear that has kept you from stepping over that comfort zone line. You did it and you are ok! There is that peace in knowing that you took that path God wanted you to take, and he walked it with you, helping you along the way.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

"Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed", instead "be strong and courageous." It comes back to fear; fear of failure, fear of the unknown. Where we are is very comfortable, even if it is a place that we despise. I know with all of the comfort zone victories that I have had in life there is one big comfort zone line that I am still trying to cross. It is that line of depression. This may sound strange to everyone one that reads this but I am addicted to what comes with being stuck in depression. My whole life I have tried to figure out where I belonged. I grew up with a father who didn't know how to love me. I grew up with a mom who didn't really know how to protect me. I don't blame them, I am not angry. I know that they did the best they knew how to do with what life threw there way. I know how hard it is to be vulnerable and expose yourself to others so that you can reach out for the help that you need. I know how hard it is to take the steps you need to take to step over that comfort zone line and do what you need to do to make the changes you so desire. I know what it is to fear rejection, disappointment, and fear of failure.

As much as I hate the negative self-talk, negative thoughts, and negative emotions that I feel; they are what I know. They are automatic now and instead of throwing the truth back in their faces I find myself resting in their familiar comfortably-uncomfortable arms, afraid of what life will be like without them. I just know that no one will give me the love and attention I crave if there is not a reason to reach out to them for it. I fear I will get lost, become invisible; comfortably-uncomfortable lies. I know this in my head.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline.

My life verse. This is the first verse ever given to me. It was given to me by my Pastor when I first opened up to him, when I first opened up to anyone, about things I was feeling. God does not want me to live in fear and feel powerless. God gives me what I need to feel courageous, to show love and to have the self-control to chose what he gives me instead of what Satan gives me. He helps me to chose truth over lies. I can do this, step over that line, even in my weakness. I can embrace the awkward and live the full life God has chosen for me, and so can you!

Philippians 4:13  I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Don't give full attention to your fears. Don't trust in that fear; in that uncertainty and doubt. Look to God. Focus on Jesus. He knows the way. He sees the end results. He has carefully marked each step on the path he has chosen for you. He will be your cheerleader and your guide. He is holding your hand, and he understands your feelings. He wants, more than you do, more than you'll ever know, for you to experience the victory of obedience. He wants you to feel that experience of stepping over that comfort zone line. It will feel so uncomfortable. You will feel so inadequate; like such a dork, there will be fear involved, and you may even fail a time or two; just fail forward. Be the example, let others see God working; getting you through to the other side of awkward; to the blessings of obedience.

1Timothy 4:12 Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.

From the eDevotion from Good Shepherd Lutheran Church: "The clichéd definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. But moving past what is comfortable is often difficult. We like the familiar and what we know. While many of us love the "idea" of change, what we don't like as much is change itself. We have a way of settling in with familiar patterns. Let's start getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. It's where God is experienced in new ways. It's where life is lived to the fullest and joy is experienced on the journey."

Thank you, God, for helping me to take some new steps out of my comfort zone this year. For being by my side and helping me to become a healthier me in 2015. Along with my fears, I give to you today my struggle with embracing the awkward and the fear of stepping over that comfort zone line. You have helped me so many times in the past to take that step of obedience. Each step of obedience has changed me into the person I am today. Forgive me for the times that I let fear and doubt hold me back; for the times I chose to stay in the comfortably-uncomfortable arms of Satan's lies. Keep my eyes focused on you, focused on truth. Keep me encouraged. Help me to embrace the awkward and fear. I know that I cannot do this without you and I know that with you by my side I will have victory.  With all my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.