I went away this past weekend to Dodge Park Church's first ladies retreat. We shared the weekend with two other churches, and it was a very special weekend. We had beautiful weather and a lot of fun. I really enjoyed the talks that our speaker, Diana Graves, gave. I could really feel the presence of the Holy Spirit the whole weekend. I had some very special times with God. I walked a labyrinth and prayed the whole time. By the time I reached the center I had so much peace inside of me. I was also able to get away, all by myself, and walk through a wooded trail. That was another special time I had with God. The best therapy in the world for me is to be in the middle of his awesome creation.
I talked before about the 3 hr meltdown that I had a couple of weeks ago and how I believe that to have been a true mourning session, not just a breakdown. I believe that was confirmed this weekend. Diana talked about her past and the abuse she endured, and usually when I hear someone talk about the hard times they are having or have had I feel the victim in me begin to rise. I can relate, which is not a bad thing, but I also craved the attention; the pity. I'd feel I need encouragement; someone to lift my spirits. I did not feel that once this weekend. I felt healed, strong and ready to be that person that shares my experiences to help others, not to receive attention.
On Saturday, Diana gave us some questions to contemplate and then asked us to write out a prayer. This was my prayer: Dear God, I feel your Spirit filling me. I am truly becoming a new me. I allowed you to speak to me that night - I did not cry just out of fed up frustration. I truly mourned; I said goodbye to the victim inside of me. I don't have to be there anymore. I am healed. I truly am free! Thank you, God, for your commitment, your grace, your love, your patience, your hand, your shoulder, your Son, and your Spirit. In Jesus' name, Amen!
