Hope Crossing, my church, is having a funeral for Jesus today. It is an interesting idea; one I have never experienced before. It is going to be an actual funeral service; including a real casket. I woke up this morning and thought about the fact that we will be attending a funeral today and my thought was; "I don't want to be sad today." There is just so much sadness in this world and I have had my share of my own personal sadness recently, and I have been working really hard over the last couple of weeks at being more positive; I just want to feel peace and joy.
I sat down to read from my Bible and to do some journaling. And even though I am way behind, I jumped ahead to today's "40 Things to Give up for Lent" Devotion. Today's is about giving up Sorrow. I thought that to be quite fitting. Here are some of Pastor Phil Ressler's words that stuck out for me...
"There are tears to be shed as long as we walk this earth, but we do not grieve as those who are without hope... On Sunday we celebrate the resurrection. Without Sunday, there is no "good" in Friday. The resurrection gives us the conviction to say: O death, where is your victory? O death where is your sting. 1Corinthians 15:55. On this Good Friday, we remember the saving work of Jesus upon the cross. 'It is finished!' The cross is behind us. It is 'good' because Jesus is risen just as he said. It's ok to shed a tear today, but make sure to mix joy with the sorrow."
I know what Jesus went through was painful and grueling. It was a horrible experience that he didn't deserve. I could not imagine having to endure such an ordeal, especially without putting up some kind of fight. He just excepted his fate; it was God's plan for his life. I read the passages in Matthew, starting in chapter 27, about Jesus' death on the cross, and after reading them I still think; "I don't want to be sad today." I know that sounds bad but it is how I feel today. So I started to do some research; looking for permission to not be sad today. You know...I think I found it.
John 16:33 In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
2 Corinthians 5:21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteous of God.
John 19:30 "It is finished!"
1Timothy 2:6 Who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
Titus 3:5 He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of Holy Spirit.
1Peter 2:24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.
In Matthew 16 Jesus predicts his own death. He knew what God's plan for him was; He knew this was God's plan. God gave Him to us as a gift. That is so amazing! A true gift is given out of love with absolutely no expectations. God wanted to give us something that would show us just how much He loves us. It had to be the perfect gift so that we would know. Think about being a perfect gift to show the world the love of the Creator. Can you imagine just how special that would make you feel; just how important, loved, needed and cherished you would feel. Jesus got to be that! He got to fulfill the most amazing and important part of God's plan; He got to be the Savior of the world. How could He not want to make sure that He did His best; gave His all; He stayed obedient to the very end to be the gift that God intended Him to be. It was not an easy job. Jesus suffered greatly, more than we could ever imagine. But he succeeded! "It is finished!" God's plan fulfilled!
For believers, a funeral is a time to celebrate someone's life. We share stories of good times and good memories. We say we love you and we will miss spending time with you hear on this earth, but we are excited for them. They will never again endure suffering. They have won their race! And we say, "until we meet again." We focus on what they meant to us and what they added to our life.
That is what I want to do today. I want to think about all the good Jesus did while he was flesh living on this earth. I want to think about the perfect gift he was to me; the gift given to me because God loves me that much. I want to feel the pride I have for him for staying obedient until the end. I want to thank him for all that he endured for me. But I don't want to be sad. I don't think He wants me to be sad. He didn't do all he did so we would be sad. He did it so we could live life to the full with an eternal relationship with His Father; our Creator. I choose to celebrate the amazing role that Jesus got to play in God's plan. I chose to celebrate in the knowledge that He was risen from the dead and is in heaven with His Father. And now I have full access to the Power, the Love and the Guiding Spirit!
That is how I chose to celebrate this "holiday", Good Friday. You may be in a place of sorrow today for all He endured, and that is ok, too. We are created unique. We are not meant to be the same. We are meant to worship Jesus with our own genuine hearts.
It may be that you are in a place that you don't know, don't believe, or don't really understand what Jesus did for you on that Good Friday. I challenge you to pick up a Bible, actual or digital, and find out what it is all about. Revisit the events and ask God to help you understand. Let him work in your heart and help you to believe. I promise you, you won't be sorry; it will change your life forever!
Friday, April 3, 2015
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Giving up going through the motions.
Wow! It has been longer than I thought since my last post. Here is my reason for my absence; I hit an emotional wall. I've still been managing to work my way through the 40 Things to Give up devotional, just very slowly; I just finished number 18 this morning. My reading for today was about giving up going through the motions. I think the best think Pastor Phil Ressler said was; "It's time to move beyond going through the motions and live the great adventure!"
I am not a stranger of going through the motions. Most of our lives are very routine. We wake up and do pretty much the same things almost every day with work, school and family schedules. They become so familiar that we can eventually find ourselves doing these things on autopilot. Have you ever driven to work or someplace that you go frequently, and when you get there you realize that you don't remember a thing about the drive there, or your driving down a road you travel often with a different destination in mind but you automatically take a turn you would normally take without even thinking about. Then you think to yourself, "What am I doing, I didn't want to go this way." I know I have, and it is kind of a scary thing when you really think about it. We can do this in so many areas in our lives; function on autopilot and then when we get to the end of our day or even our lives we wonder how we got here and we realize all the things we missed along the way.
I had an "Ah Ha" moment this week about going through the motions. I have been doing it for years. I have been going through the motions of my emotions. I have been living the comfortably uncomfortable life just because it is familiar; the road I have traveled for years. I have know this for a long time. I have talked about it many times. I have had other destinations in mind but I haven't made the effort to turn off the autopilot switch. There is one, you know. Sometimes it can be just out of our reach. That is when we need to ask someone to help us reach it. It may seem like a silly thing to need help with. I mean, how hard can it be to make your way to a device that is as simple to use as a switch is. People would think that I am pathetic or stupid. And those very autopilot-thoughts can make it very hard to ask for help or to even believe that you need help. Whether you believe it or not, there are other people out there who need help with the exact same issue of turning off their autopilot. I know that I am one of them and I am finally believing that needing that help does not make me pathetic or stupid and I am not unworthy of help.
I have finally started to believe what God has been trying to tell me for years. That it is ok to own who I am and what I need, and that it is ok to tell someone what I need. I don't need to keep trying to be someone that I am not. I am not pathetic or worthless; someone who can only receive love through pity. And I am not someone who needs to be perfect, or who has it all together. I am a person just like everyone else, with issues and needs. I can't be afraid to tell someone my needs because it might hurt their feelings. It is not my responsibility. It is my job to have an open, honest, healthy relationship with people and to give them the same love and understanding I expect from them.
So, I am learning to muster up the courage to tell people what I really need and ask them to help because I know that is what I really need right now; accountability and encouragement. It is ok to need help and encouragement from the people around us, after all, God designed us to do life together, not on our own. And don't forget that God is there to help you, too, because he loves you and wants the best for your life. "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13.
I encourage you to do what is necessary to turn off your autopilot so you can "...live the great adventure." God is by your side and has given you all the tools you need. It is up to you to make that decision and to take that first step. I promise you the help is there. God desires the unique you that he created, not the autopilot you that you have created. God desires the true you, not the you that you think he wants or what you think others want to see in you.
"When you believe in God's power, "He can"...but when you believe in His love, "God will." -Benny Hinn
As far as the 40 things devotional, I still plan to finish what I started, but I am sorry to say that I am not going to continue to try post each one on here everyday. It started to become one of those things that that I needed to check off of my list of things to do and I found that I was just going through the motions of getting it done not really spending the time with it that I needed. These are really good devotions and I will still share them with you, just at a much slower pace, a pace that I can handle because that is what I need to do right now.
With all my love and blessings.
I am not a stranger of going through the motions. Most of our lives are very routine. We wake up and do pretty much the same things almost every day with work, school and family schedules. They become so familiar that we can eventually find ourselves doing these things on autopilot. Have you ever driven to work or someplace that you go frequently, and when you get there you realize that you don't remember a thing about the drive there, or your driving down a road you travel often with a different destination in mind but you automatically take a turn you would normally take without even thinking about. Then you think to yourself, "What am I doing, I didn't want to go this way." I know I have, and it is kind of a scary thing when you really think about it. We can do this in so many areas in our lives; function on autopilot and then when we get to the end of our day or even our lives we wonder how we got here and we realize all the things we missed along the way.
I had an "Ah Ha" moment this week about going through the motions. I have been doing it for years. I have been going through the motions of my emotions. I have been living the comfortably uncomfortable life just because it is familiar; the road I have traveled for years. I have know this for a long time. I have talked about it many times. I have had other destinations in mind but I haven't made the effort to turn off the autopilot switch. There is one, you know. Sometimes it can be just out of our reach. That is when we need to ask someone to help us reach it. It may seem like a silly thing to need help with. I mean, how hard can it be to make your way to a device that is as simple to use as a switch is. People would think that I am pathetic or stupid. And those very autopilot-thoughts can make it very hard to ask for help or to even believe that you need help. Whether you believe it or not, there are other people out there who need help with the exact same issue of turning off their autopilot. I know that I am one of them and I am finally believing that needing that help does not make me pathetic or stupid and I am not unworthy of help.
I have finally started to believe what God has been trying to tell me for years. That it is ok to own who I am and what I need, and that it is ok to tell someone what I need. I don't need to keep trying to be someone that I am not. I am not pathetic or worthless; someone who can only receive love through pity. And I am not someone who needs to be perfect, or who has it all together. I am a person just like everyone else, with issues and needs. I can't be afraid to tell someone my needs because it might hurt their feelings. It is not my responsibility. It is my job to have an open, honest, healthy relationship with people and to give them the same love and understanding I expect from them.
So, I am learning to muster up the courage to tell people what I really need and ask them to help because I know that is what I really need right now; accountability and encouragement. It is ok to need help and encouragement from the people around us, after all, God designed us to do life together, not on our own. And don't forget that God is there to help you, too, because he loves you and wants the best for your life. "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13.
I encourage you to do what is necessary to turn off your autopilot so you can "...live the great adventure." God is by your side and has given you all the tools you need. It is up to you to make that decision and to take that first step. I promise you the help is there. God desires the unique you that he created, not the autopilot you that you have created. God desires the true you, not the you that you think he wants or what you think others want to see in you.
"When you believe in God's power, "He can"...but when you believe in His love, "God will." -Benny Hinn
As far as the 40 things devotional, I still plan to finish what I started, but I am sorry to say that I am not going to continue to try post each one on here everyday. It started to become one of those things that that I needed to check off of my list of things to do and I found that I was just going through the motions of getting it done not really spending the time with it that I needed. These are really good devotions and I will still share them with you, just at a much slower pace, a pace that I can handle because that is what I need to do right now.
With all my love and blessings.
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
40 Things to Give Up For Lent: Number 10
Over commitment Do less better and accomplish more.
"If you believe God knows what he is doing, then you believe God created just the right amount of time."
I argue with God on this one a lot. I question how I'm suppose to do what I need to do and what I want to do. I feel frustrated, rushed and overwhelmed a lot. I know where some of my problems lay, ok, maybe where all of my problems lay. I go into shut down mode a lot. I don't know where to start and or I have no desire to start, so I find myself not even trying and spending my time playing games on my phone, doodling, or reading to just mindlessly pass the time away. In the end I am really frustrated with myself. When I do actually work on something I really get into it and then I end up spending to much time on that one thing and neglect other things.
"The key is to make God's priorities your priorities."
Well, what are his priorities? That can be a hard one to figure out sometimes. I know that prayer,
spending time with God, and reading the Bible daily is important. I really do love to do this. Spending time with God really feels good. My issue is the time thing. When I sit down to read and journal and pray it usually takes about two hours. I end my time feeling encouraged, inspired and guided; I'm ready to take on the day. Then the list comes to mind; the, I have to do and want to do list. I feel that this list needs to all be completed by 2:30; when I have to go get the girls from school. This is when the frustration and overwhelmed feeling comes rushing in. I find myself becoming annoyed with myself for all that time that I just spent with God. After a couple of days of that cycle I find myself giving up on that time with God because "I HAVE" to get through my list of things. Then I start feeling hopeless, depressed and that is when I find myself doing the mindless things to get through the emotions. Then I don't have to feel stressed, in that moment. Vicious, vicious cycle.
"One of the reasons we rush so much is because we believe everything is dependent on us"
I don't put my work in God's hands. I don't trust him to give me the time to accomplish what he wants me to do; I don't trust him to accomplish what I can't.
"Remember your value is not found in what you accomplish, but in what Jesus accomplished for you."
That is a powerful statement. I know that I struggle with where I put my value. It is automatic for me to value what others think of and see in my. I know that is not what is most important and I really don't want it to be; it is just something I have learned to do over the years and I am working hard and changing that. Not to mention, the false belief that I have to be the one to do it all because if I don't who will, or is it because I want to prove to others that I am able and worthy to do all these things. I think sometimes we over commit because we are trying to fill a void or look more important then we really feel. Where your value lies, I think, is a major contributor to whether or not you have an issue with over commitment. We can over commit to work and I think we can over commit to our emotions.
God, I thank you that you give me the exact amount of time that I need to accomplish all that you want me to accomplish. Help me to make your priorities my priorities. Help me to shut out all of the false emotions and beliefs that cause me to over commit in tasks and to my emotions. You have created me and I am important and it is important that I focus on what you want me to do each day. Help me to be flexible, willing and obedient to your will. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen!
Quotes by: Pastor Phil Ressler
"If you believe God knows what he is doing, then you believe God created just the right amount of time."
I argue with God on this one a lot. I question how I'm suppose to do what I need to do and what I want to do. I feel frustrated, rushed and overwhelmed a lot. I know where some of my problems lay, ok, maybe where all of my problems lay. I go into shut down mode a lot. I don't know where to start and or I have no desire to start, so I find myself not even trying and spending my time playing games on my phone, doodling, or reading to just mindlessly pass the time away. In the end I am really frustrated with myself. When I do actually work on something I really get into it and then I end up spending to much time on that one thing and neglect other things.
"The key is to make God's priorities your priorities."
Well, what are his priorities? That can be a hard one to figure out sometimes. I know that prayer,
spending time with God, and reading the Bible daily is important. I really do love to do this. Spending time with God really feels good. My issue is the time thing. When I sit down to read and journal and pray it usually takes about two hours. I end my time feeling encouraged, inspired and guided; I'm ready to take on the day. Then the list comes to mind; the, I have to do and want to do list. I feel that this list needs to all be completed by 2:30; when I have to go get the girls from school. This is when the frustration and overwhelmed feeling comes rushing in. I find myself becoming annoyed with myself for all that time that I just spent with God. After a couple of days of that cycle I find myself giving up on that time with God because "I HAVE" to get through my list of things. Then I start feeling hopeless, depressed and that is when I find myself doing the mindless things to get through the emotions. Then I don't have to feel stressed, in that moment. Vicious, vicious cycle.
"One of the reasons we rush so much is because we believe everything is dependent on us"
I don't put my work in God's hands. I don't trust him to give me the time to accomplish what he wants me to do; I don't trust him to accomplish what I can't.
"Remember your value is not found in what you accomplish, but in what Jesus accomplished for you."
That is a powerful statement. I know that I struggle with where I put my value. It is automatic for me to value what others think of and see in my. I know that is not what is most important and I really don't want it to be; it is just something I have learned to do over the years and I am working hard and changing that. Not to mention, the false belief that I have to be the one to do it all because if I don't who will, or is it because I want to prove to others that I am able and worthy to do all these things. I think sometimes we over commit because we are trying to fill a void or look more important then we really feel. Where your value lies, I think, is a major contributor to whether or not you have an issue with over commitment. We can over commit to work and I think we can over commit to our emotions.
God, I thank you that you give me the exact amount of time that I need to accomplish all that you want me to accomplish. Help me to make your priorities my priorities. Help me to shut out all of the false emotions and beliefs that cause me to over commit in tasks and to my emotions. You have created me and I am important and it is important that I focus on what you want me to do each day. Help me to be flexible, willing and obedient to your will. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen!
Quotes by: Pastor Phil Ressler
Saturday, March 7, 2015
40 Things to Give up For Lent: Number 9
Guilt I am loved by Jesus and he has forgiven my sins. Today is a new day and the past is behind.
1 John 1:9: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:5-7: This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you. God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
John 3:16-18: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.
Words from Pastor Phil Ressler:
"We can learn from our past. We don't need to live in the guilt of those past mistakes. While the past may shape up and guide us, the past will not define us."
Therefore, if anyone in in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17
"Jesus came to set us free from our guilt. In him we move forward in freedom from the guilt of the past."
"Present Guilt: This is when we fall short of our expectations. Know the path to victory is never a straight line. For every two steps forward, there is one step back. As we pursue God's path, Satan will work even harder to push us off course. Jesus enables us to keep moving forward."
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us. Hebrews 12:1
"When you can't, know that Jesus can. Jesus paid it all. He takes our guilt upon himself when we receive the gift of his salvation by faith. He receives the punishment that was ours. He takes our place."
I looked up guilt and shame on Dictionary.com; Guilt and shame are really two different things and yet they can go hand-in-hand.
Guilt: a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.
Shame: disgrace; ignominy
Guilt is more of an awareness of having done something wrong. Its being aware of what you are responsible for. Guilt can be good. Guilt can help us to take action to work at righting a wrong. It can help us change our words, actions, and/or thoughts. Staying stuck in that feeling of guilt will lead to feelings of shame.
Shame is more of a painful feeling. Shame has the ability to cripple a person. Shame can be caused by not dealing with something you did wrong, but shame can also come from believing that it is your fault that something has happened even when it is not. "It is the belief that you, or a part of you, is defective or inadequate. Words of shame are reflective of seeing oneself as "bad," "ugly," "stupid," "incompetent," "damaged." (or needy and a burden) It is an isolating experience that makes us think we are completely alone and unique in our belief that we are unlovable. Secretly, we feel like we are to blame. Shame reflects an internal darkness in one's soul. And it is because of this our recovery truly has spiritual meaning. Underneath layers of shame you will find that abandonment is at the foundation." -Changing Course by Claudia Black, Ph.D (my words added)
Whether you are feeling guilty because you have done something wrong to someone, or you are feeling guilty because you believe that it is your fault something has happened even though that is not true, you have to take the necessary steps to deal with your guilt. We can't hold on to it. You can not play the game of blame; we gave that up already anyway, right? :) We have to run to God, run to his word, run to a trusted friend, run to professional help; do whatever you have to do to "run with endurance the race that is set before us." Hebrews 12:1
Satan will turn our guilt in shame and he will use it to hold us down if we let him. Shame can keep us locked in a self-centered prison. When you are locked away in a prison you miss out on a lot in life. I know what that prison feels like. I know it can be hard to take the necessary steps when you feel that shame; when you feel unworthy. But we are all worthy because God created us. He created us because he wanted to, because he wanted us; all of us. Go back and read John 3:16-18. God gave his ONLY Son, Jesus, to die on a cross so the world could have the opportunity spend eternity with him; that is how much he wants you, that is how worthy you are.
Ask God to forgive you and he will, every time, and if he can forgive you than you can forgive you. Then let it go and move on; use it as a learning experience and let that experience strengthen you.
God, thank you for loving me so much that you would give your only Son so that I can be in relationship with you. Thank you for reminding me everyday that I have no reason to feel shame. I can take that feeling of guilt that you give me and use it to deal with the issue at hand and then I can let it go and live a life that is pleasing to you. You know I am human and I am not perfect; I will make mistakes and I will have time of confusion and false feelings, and you love me, and forgive me when I seek out your forgiveness. When you look at me all you see is that beautiful, worthy, unique, desired being that you created. I am perfectly-imperfect and I am worthy! With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen!
1 John 1:9: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:5-7: This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you. God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
John 3:16-18: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.
Words from Pastor Phil Ressler:
"We can learn from our past. We don't need to live in the guilt of those past mistakes. While the past may shape up and guide us, the past will not define us."
Therefore, if anyone in in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17
"Jesus came to set us free from our guilt. In him we move forward in freedom from the guilt of the past."
"Present Guilt: This is when we fall short of our expectations. Know the path to victory is never a straight line. For every two steps forward, there is one step back. As we pursue God's path, Satan will work even harder to push us off course. Jesus enables us to keep moving forward."
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us. Hebrews 12:1
"When you can't, know that Jesus can. Jesus paid it all. He takes our guilt upon himself when we receive the gift of his salvation by faith. He receives the punishment that was ours. He takes our place."
I looked up guilt and shame on Dictionary.com; Guilt and shame are really two different things and yet they can go hand-in-hand.
Guilt: a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.
Shame: disgrace; ignominy
Guilt is more of an awareness of having done something wrong. Its being aware of what you are responsible for. Guilt can be good. Guilt can help us to take action to work at righting a wrong. It can help us change our words, actions, and/or thoughts. Staying stuck in that feeling of guilt will lead to feelings of shame.
Shame is more of a painful feeling. Shame has the ability to cripple a person. Shame can be caused by not dealing with something you did wrong, but shame can also come from believing that it is your fault that something has happened even when it is not. "It is the belief that you, or a part of you, is defective or inadequate. Words of shame are reflective of seeing oneself as "bad," "ugly," "stupid," "incompetent," "damaged." (or needy and a burden) It is an isolating experience that makes us think we are completely alone and unique in our belief that we are unlovable. Secretly, we feel like we are to blame. Shame reflects an internal darkness in one's soul. And it is because of this our recovery truly has spiritual meaning. Underneath layers of shame you will find that abandonment is at the foundation." -Changing Course by Claudia Black, Ph.D (my words added)
Whether you are feeling guilty because you have done something wrong to someone, or you are feeling guilty because you believe that it is your fault something has happened even though that is not true, you have to take the necessary steps to deal with your guilt. We can't hold on to it. You can not play the game of blame; we gave that up already anyway, right? :) We have to run to God, run to his word, run to a trusted friend, run to professional help; do whatever you have to do to "run with endurance the race that is set before us." Hebrews 12:1
Satan will turn our guilt in shame and he will use it to hold us down if we let him. Shame can keep us locked in a self-centered prison. When you are locked away in a prison you miss out on a lot in life. I know what that prison feels like. I know it can be hard to take the necessary steps when you feel that shame; when you feel unworthy. But we are all worthy because God created us. He created us because he wanted to, because he wanted us; all of us. Go back and read John 3:16-18. God gave his ONLY Son, Jesus, to die on a cross so the world could have the opportunity spend eternity with him; that is how much he wants you, that is how worthy you are.
Ask God to forgive you and he will, every time, and if he can forgive you than you can forgive you. Then let it go and move on; use it as a learning experience and let that experience strengthen you.
God, thank you for loving me so much that you would give your only Son so that I can be in relationship with you. Thank you for reminding me everyday that I have no reason to feel shame. I can take that feeling of guilt that you give me and use it to deal with the issue at hand and then I can let it go and live a life that is pleasing to you. You know I am human and I am not perfect; I will make mistakes and I will have time of confusion and false feelings, and you love me, and forgive me when I seek out your forgiveness. When you look at me all you see is that beautiful, worthy, unique, desired being that you created. I am perfectly-imperfect and I am worthy! With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen!
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
40 Things To Give Up For Lent: Number 8
Blame I am not going to pass the buck. I will take responsibility for my actions.
"We are good at playing the victim. We are innocent. You can not control what others do to you. What you can control with the help of the Holy Spirit is how you respond. With the help of the Holy Spirit you can move forward. Letting the past actions of others control your present and your future is allowing them to victimize you all over again." -Pastor Phil Ressler
No, in all things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37
Pastor Phil reminds us that Jesus was truly a victim, just as many people are, but he forgave those who hurt him; "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." Luke 23:34
Not only did he forgive them but Jesus chose to take the blame, even though he was innocent.
Pastor Phil continued to say...
"Know that hurting people hurt others. Hurting people often hurt themselves. But as you find healing in Jesus Christ something amazing happens. The scars left behind become a reminder that I am not a victim but "more than a conqueror" and wounds of the past become agents of healing."
I get how easy it is to play the victim; been there done that. Victims truly have someone to blame for what has happened to them. Victims usually have no control over what happens to them. But victims do have control over how long they will live as the victim. We are all responsible for how we respond to life's circumstances. That does not mean that you should be able to instantly get over what has happened. Victims have wounds, and wounds take time to heal, and we all heal at a different rate. We have to chose to take an active role in our healing. We have to chose to forgive. We have to chose to let God work in our lives.
Sometimes when wounds heal they can leave an ugly scar. It can be hard not to hate that scar. It can be hard to not let that scar dredge up old emotions. We have to learn to look at that scar and see it as life lived; as character that adds to our beauty and uniqueness. Let God help you to see that scar in a new way. Give the memory of the pain to Jesus. Let the Holy Spirit guide you into your future; the one filled with hope and healing. God promises to use our scars for good; he has a plan for our lives; we have to let him.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
We also have to remember to stop and think about why that person has made you a victim. It could be that person is a victim themselves and they are struggling through their healing process. They may not know where to turn to; may not have Jesus is their life to help them along the way. I have learned that life is chain reaction. The person that hurt you might just not know any other way to get someone, anyone, to understand their pain.
God promises to bestow on those who grieve "a crown of beauty for ashes." Isaiah 61:3
If you let him, God will turn that "ugly" scar into something beautiful. All you have to do is stop blaming, embrace the scar, and let God work.
God, I am so thankful that you have a plan for my life. You use all the good and all the bad for a better future. You give me the power to be "more than a conqueror." You are so patient with us; knowing that healing is not an easy process, and we each have a set time to heal. But you have given us the ability to chose, and that is what I must do. I chose to trust you in the process of life. I chose to trust you to turn the "ugly" in my life into beauty. Help me to let go of blame, to let go of being the victim, so that I can live the amazing life that you have planned for me. Help me to be the example to those that are struggling with the same issues. Help me to stop and think about the offenders in my life; to pray for them to find the help they need to get through whatever it is they are struggling with. I want to be a light that shines for you. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen!
"We are good at playing the victim. We are innocent. You can not control what others do to you. What you can control with the help of the Holy Spirit is how you respond. With the help of the Holy Spirit you can move forward. Letting the past actions of others control your present and your future is allowing them to victimize you all over again." -Pastor Phil Ressler
No, in all things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37
Pastor Phil reminds us that Jesus was truly a victim, just as many people are, but he forgave those who hurt him; "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." Luke 23:34
Not only did he forgive them but Jesus chose to take the blame, even though he was innocent.
Pastor Phil continued to say...
"Know that hurting people hurt others. Hurting people often hurt themselves. But as you find healing in Jesus Christ something amazing happens. The scars left behind become a reminder that I am not a victim but "more than a conqueror" and wounds of the past become agents of healing."
I get how easy it is to play the victim; been there done that. Victims truly have someone to blame for what has happened to them. Victims usually have no control over what happens to them. But victims do have control over how long they will live as the victim. We are all responsible for how we respond to life's circumstances. That does not mean that you should be able to instantly get over what has happened. Victims have wounds, and wounds take time to heal, and we all heal at a different rate. We have to chose to take an active role in our healing. We have to chose to forgive. We have to chose to let God work in our lives.
Sometimes when wounds heal they can leave an ugly scar. It can be hard not to hate that scar. It can be hard to not let that scar dredge up old emotions. We have to learn to look at that scar and see it as life lived; as character that adds to our beauty and uniqueness. Let God help you to see that scar in a new way. Give the memory of the pain to Jesus. Let the Holy Spirit guide you into your future; the one filled with hope and healing. God promises to use our scars for good; he has a plan for our lives; we have to let him.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
We also have to remember to stop and think about why that person has made you a victim. It could be that person is a victim themselves and they are struggling through their healing process. They may not know where to turn to; may not have Jesus is their life to help them along the way. I have learned that life is chain reaction. The person that hurt you might just not know any other way to get someone, anyone, to understand their pain.
God promises to bestow on those who grieve "a crown of beauty for ashes." Isaiah 61:3
If you let him, God will turn that "ugly" scar into something beautiful. All you have to do is stop blaming, embrace the scar, and let God work.
God, I am so thankful that you have a plan for my life. You use all the good and all the bad for a better future. You give me the power to be "more than a conqueror." You are so patient with us; knowing that healing is not an easy process, and we each have a set time to heal. But you have given us the ability to chose, and that is what I must do. I chose to trust you in the process of life. I chose to trust you to turn the "ugly" in my life into beauty. Help me to let go of blame, to let go of being the victim, so that I can live the amazing life that you have planned for me. Help me to be the example to those that are struggling with the same issues. Help me to stop and think about the offenders in my life; to pray for them to find the help they need to get through whatever it is they are struggling with. I want to be a light that shines for you. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen!
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
40 Things To Give Up For Lent: Number 7
Comparison I have my own unique contribution to make and there is no one else like me.
Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
2 Timothy 2:15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.
"What do you base your value on?"
"There is always going to be someone better, someone more accomplished, someone more beautiful, someone more blessed, someone more skilled. If you continue to compare yourself you are going to find you never match up. It will seem like you are always lacking."
"You are created by God. You are who you are. He loves you for who you are. You are beautiful and wonderful to him because he made you unique. You are his child."
Quotes by Pastor Phil Ressler.
Psalm 139:14 I Praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
I want to be a better wife like...
I want to be a better mother like...
I wish my faith was as strong as...
Oh, how I could move people if I could just sing like...
I would be so much happier if my body looked more like...
God would be happier with me if I could talk to people like...
These are just some of the things I catch myself saying to myself. It is so easy for me to see the good in others and the imperfections in myself. I believe this a form of pride.
It all boils down to our self-esteem; where is our value? God wants us to use the gifts and abilities he has given us, and there is nothing wrong with taking pride in giving God your best. I think that it shows God your appreciation for the gifts he has given you. I think it can be easy for a person with low self-esteem to have a wrong pride of having a "better" talent or gift than someone because they are trying to make up for what they feel they lack. But a person with low self-esteem can also be prideful by always focusing on and pointing out their own faults and weakness. I think it is prideful because it is still drawing unhealthy attention to yourself. All that negativity is unhealthy in itself. I believe that negativity just brings more negativity.
Proverbs 18:12 Before destruction a man's heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor.
We are all created by God. He created each one of us unique and special; each with our own strengths and weaknesses, each with our own gifts and talents. We each have a part to play in God's plan. We are all important. Stop looking at others with desires to be like them. God does not want you to be like them, he wants you to be like you, the you he created. The earth would be a boring place if we were all the same. Be genuinely happy for the gifts and talents that God has given others. Encourage them to do the best they can with those gifts and talents.
"A healthy self-esteem comes when you know God loves you and made you in his image and through Christ has made you holy and a new creation."
"You don't need to: Be Proud. Brag. Boast. Be overly defensive. Compare yourself. Feel inadequate. Worry about what others think of you. Build yourself up in others minds. Inflate a sagging ego. Lie to yourself and others. Make excuses for sin. Try to assume positions beyond you. Never admit you are wrong. Always be right about every last thing. Rebel against authority. Avoid submission. Tear others down (or tear yourself down). Avoid those of lowly status in the worlds eyes (or avoid those of great status in the world's eyes). Be greedy for money or power to improve social status.
You can be yourself: Servant. Humble. Gentle. Kind. Loving. (unique, special, important). Thinking of others needs more highly than your own perverse pride induced desires."
To remove pride, just stop comparing yourself with others. If you don't compare yourself with others anymore because you know we are all equally loved by God, equally sinful before God, and equally savable through Christ, and equally able to bring glory to God, then you won't have low self-esteem and you won't have the temptation to be proud any more."
- Kendall Faull (my added words)
These are great reminders.
God, thank you for creating me so special, so unique. You have given me great gifts and talents. Help me to always use them to the best of my ability, and in a way that gives you glory so that I can show my appreciation for what you have given to me; for the things you have entrusted to me. Thanks for the reminder that I do not have to be like everyone else. You don't want me to be like everyone else. You want me to be me. Help me to stop looking at others with eyes and a heart that desires to be like them; have what they have, because that takes my focus off of the wonderful things that you have blessed me with. It takes my eyes off of the beautiful creation that I am. I lose sight of my importance when I compare myself to others; I lose sight of your love for me. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen!
Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
2 Timothy 2:15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.
"What do you base your value on?"
"There is always going to be someone better, someone more accomplished, someone more beautiful, someone more blessed, someone more skilled. If you continue to compare yourself you are going to find you never match up. It will seem like you are always lacking."
"You are created by God. You are who you are. He loves you for who you are. You are beautiful and wonderful to him because he made you unique. You are his child."
Quotes by Pastor Phil Ressler.
Psalm 139:14 I Praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
I want to be a better wife like...
I want to be a better mother like...
I wish my faith was as strong as...
Oh, how I could move people if I could just sing like...
I would be so much happier if my body looked more like...
God would be happier with me if I could talk to people like...
These are just some of the things I catch myself saying to myself. It is so easy for me to see the good in others and the imperfections in myself. I believe this a form of pride.
It all boils down to our self-esteem; where is our value? God wants us to use the gifts and abilities he has given us, and there is nothing wrong with taking pride in giving God your best. I think that it shows God your appreciation for the gifts he has given you. I think it can be easy for a person with low self-esteem to have a wrong pride of having a "better" talent or gift than someone because they are trying to make up for what they feel they lack. But a person with low self-esteem can also be prideful by always focusing on and pointing out their own faults and weakness. I think it is prideful because it is still drawing unhealthy attention to yourself. All that negativity is unhealthy in itself. I believe that negativity just brings more negativity.
Proverbs 18:12 Before destruction a man's heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor.
We are all created by God. He created each one of us unique and special; each with our own strengths and weaknesses, each with our own gifts and talents. We each have a part to play in God's plan. We are all important. Stop looking at others with desires to be like them. God does not want you to be like them, he wants you to be like you, the you he created. The earth would be a boring place if we were all the same. Be genuinely happy for the gifts and talents that God has given others. Encourage them to do the best they can with those gifts and talents.
"A healthy self-esteem comes when you know God loves you and made you in his image and through Christ has made you holy and a new creation."
"You don't need to: Be Proud. Brag. Boast. Be overly defensive. Compare yourself. Feel inadequate. Worry about what others think of you. Build yourself up in others minds. Inflate a sagging ego. Lie to yourself and others. Make excuses for sin. Try to assume positions beyond you. Never admit you are wrong. Always be right about every last thing. Rebel against authority. Avoid submission. Tear others down (or tear yourself down). Avoid those of lowly status in the worlds eyes (or avoid those of great status in the world's eyes). Be greedy for money or power to improve social status.
You can be yourself: Servant. Humble. Gentle. Kind. Loving. (unique, special, important). Thinking of others needs more highly than your own perverse pride induced desires."
To remove pride, just stop comparing yourself with others. If you don't compare yourself with others anymore because you know we are all equally loved by God, equally sinful before God, and equally savable through Christ, and equally able to bring glory to God, then you won't have low self-esteem and you won't have the temptation to be proud any more."
- Kendall Faull (my added words)
These are great reminders.
God, thank you for creating me so special, so unique. You have given me great gifts and talents. Help me to always use them to the best of my ability, and in a way that gives you glory so that I can show my appreciation for what you have given to me; for the things you have entrusted to me. Thanks for the reminder that I do not have to be like everyone else. You don't want me to be like everyone else. You want me to be me. Help me to stop looking at others with eyes and a heart that desires to be like them; have what they have, because that takes my focus off of the wonderful things that you have blessed me with. It takes my eyes off of the beautiful creation that I am. I lose sight of my importance when I compare myself to others; I lose sight of your love for me. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen!
Monday, March 2, 2015
40 Things to Give up For Lent: Number 6
I know that I am really behind on reading through the 40-things devotional, and writing in my blog. It has been a bit...not normal around here this past week. Just because I have fallen behind does not mean I am going to give up. I know that this will now go way past lent, but these are not things to only work on giving up through lent. These are things that I know I need to work on in order to create an even greater bond between me and my God.
People Pleasing: I can't please everyone anyways. There is only one I need to strive to please.
Some words from the eDevotion:
"Our need to please often arises out of our own need for approval."
"Love is not always doing the things people want you to do. That is called enabling. Love is doing for them what you believe in your heart and you know from God to be best for them."
"When we give in to people pleasing, we lose our focus and direction. We will be steered in all sorts of different directions. Find the landmark of Jesus Christ. Keep steering straight toward him."
People pleasing: I love to do that. I crave approval and attention. I tend to measure my worth by what people think. It often leaves me feeling disappointed and even alone. You really can't please everyone all the time. The cannot all always fill the void you are trying to fill. That is just how we are designed. Only God can play that role. Only Jesus can fill that void. Only the Holy Spirit can guide.
I love what the eDevotion said about enabling. It is a comforting and encouraging thought. It brings hope and strength. When someone disappoints me, leaves me feeling alone, I can question those feelings. They are most likely false feelings. Is what I want from them beneficial to me? Is it realistic? Would they just be enabling my poor choices and false emotions? What struggle could they be going through having to do what they know is hard for me because they know it is best - because they know that God is guiding them, because they love and value me? It puts a whole new perspective on things.
"Find the landmark of Jesus Christ. Keep steering straight toward him."
We need to watch out for those who's goals are to get our focus off of Jesus. They want nothing more than to enable your bad choices and false emotions. They want to keep you down, questioning, doubting. Those people are out there. I think I would question a persons love for you if they are always doing for you what you want them to do and when they allow you to always do things that please them. True love is unconditional. True love allows you to learn, grow, and sometimes that means letting you make mistakes, and even feel pain. True love embraces the good and endures the hard times. Only God is perfect at that. Only Jesus can teach us how to strive for that. Only the Holy Spirit can guide our hearts, thoughts, mouths and steps.
Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me, and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Proverbs 29:25 The fear of man lays a snare, but who ever trusts in the Lord is safe.
The only one we need to strive to please is God. He created us, loves us unconditionally, cares about our wellbeing, wants the best for us, never gives up on us, is always by our side, always patient and forgiving, he understands completely, gave his ONLY Son so that we could be in relationship him, and what he wants the most from us is our love, trust and obedience. He does not need us to be perfect; he knows that is an impossible task for us. We please him when we love him, trust him and give him the best we can give. No weakness, imperfection or mistake will ever change that as long as we give him our whole heart.
God, as I continue daily to give you my fears of failure, unwillingness to step out of my comfort zone, feelings of unworthiness, and my doubts of my purpose in life, I give to you my need to please people; my great desire for their love and attention. I am learning that all of these things will fade away as I put my trust in and focus on you. I am so thankful that you are so loving and patient. You are willing to remind me again and again what is really important in life. You continue to find ways to inspire and encourage; to teach and lovingly discipline me. In you I am courageous, I am bold, I am worthy, I have purpose, and you are pleased with me because you created me and you only create what pleases you. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen!
People Pleasing: I can't please everyone anyways. There is only one I need to strive to please.
Some words from the eDevotion:
"Our need to please often arises out of our own need for approval."
"Love is not always doing the things people want you to do. That is called enabling. Love is doing for them what you believe in your heart and you know from God to be best for them."
"When we give in to people pleasing, we lose our focus and direction. We will be steered in all sorts of different directions. Find the landmark of Jesus Christ. Keep steering straight toward him."
People pleasing: I love to do that. I crave approval and attention. I tend to measure my worth by what people think. It often leaves me feeling disappointed and even alone. You really can't please everyone all the time. The cannot all always fill the void you are trying to fill. That is just how we are designed. Only God can play that role. Only Jesus can fill that void. Only the Holy Spirit can guide.
I love what the eDevotion said about enabling. It is a comforting and encouraging thought. It brings hope and strength. When someone disappoints me, leaves me feeling alone, I can question those feelings. They are most likely false feelings. Is what I want from them beneficial to me? Is it realistic? Would they just be enabling my poor choices and false emotions? What struggle could they be going through having to do what they know is hard for me because they know it is best - because they know that God is guiding them, because they love and value me? It puts a whole new perspective on things.
"Find the landmark of Jesus Christ. Keep steering straight toward him."
We need to watch out for those who's goals are to get our focus off of Jesus. They want nothing more than to enable your bad choices and false emotions. They want to keep you down, questioning, doubting. Those people are out there. I think I would question a persons love for you if they are always doing for you what you want them to do and when they allow you to always do things that please them. True love is unconditional. True love allows you to learn, grow, and sometimes that means letting you make mistakes, and even feel pain. True love embraces the good and endures the hard times. Only God is perfect at that. Only Jesus can teach us how to strive for that. Only the Holy Spirit can guide our hearts, thoughts, mouths and steps.
Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me, and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Proverbs 29:25 The fear of man lays a snare, but who ever trusts in the Lord is safe.
The only one we need to strive to please is God. He created us, loves us unconditionally, cares about our wellbeing, wants the best for us, never gives up on us, is always by our side, always patient and forgiving, he understands completely, gave his ONLY Son so that we could be in relationship him, and what he wants the most from us is our love, trust and obedience. He does not need us to be perfect; he knows that is an impossible task for us. We please him when we love him, trust him and give him the best we can give. No weakness, imperfection or mistake will ever change that as long as we give him our whole heart.
God, as I continue daily to give you my fears of failure, unwillingness to step out of my comfort zone, feelings of unworthiness, and my doubts of my purpose in life, I give to you my need to please people; my great desire for their love and attention. I am learning that all of these things will fade away as I put my trust in and focus on you. I am so thankful that you are so loving and patient. You are willing to remind me again and again what is really important in life. You continue to find ways to inspire and encourage; to teach and lovingly discipline me. In you I am courageous, I am bold, I am worthy, I have purpose, and you are pleased with me because you created me and you only create what pleases you. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen!
Monday, February 23, 2015
40 Things to Give up for Lent: Number 5
Retirement As long as you are still breathing, you are here for a reason. You have a purpose to influence others for Christ. Our work is not always tied to a paycheck.
I hear stories of people who have retired and then they feel like they start to wonder what their purpose on this earth is anymore. They start to struggle with feeling like they are just contributing anymore. But, God tells us otherwise. "As long as you are still breathing, you are here for a reason."
I am far from the age of retirement. But I still struggle at times with my purpose here on earth sometimes. I am a stay-at-home mom, have been for over 15 years now, and I have a very part-time job cleaning the church I am a member of. My days are pretty repetitious and the work I do can be frustrating at times. My kids don't need me to do for them as much anymore. They are discovering their independence, and our relationships have changed. I'm finding the teenage years to be quite a challenge for me.
I can get so tired of cleaning. You put all the time and energy into the task, you look around when the task is complete with a sense of accomplishment, order and peace, and then someone comes into the room and all of your efforts are erased by one single muddy footprint on your clean floor...ugh! What was the point in doing all of that work! And you find yourself doing the job all over again.
We all have jobs like this, not just stay-at-home-moms. Everyone; young, old, men and women. We all have jobs to do in our lives that feel pointless at times. I think the frustration that comes with our jobs can be stronger when a paycheck in not involved. Then you can really feel like all your hard work is for nothing and like you are not contributing to your family.
Colossians 3:23-24 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
All of God's work is important, and if you love and believe in God; if you live your life to glorify and honor God, then EVERYTHING you do is work for God. He has a plan and a purpose for every single second you live on this earth.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
You are contributing to God's plan and purpose, and your reward is waiting for you in heaven.
2Timmothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
A friend of mine died early yesterday morning. She was an example of 2Timothy 4:7. She was my choir buddy, and she helped me a lot to hit notes I was struggling with and helped me to understand parts of the music (I was never taught how to read music so I was really lost sometimes). I really didn't spend much time with her outside of church, so there are parts of her life that I don't know much about. But she was a great inspiration to me. She fought the good fight faithfully and she did it with a smile on her face; every time I saw her. She had been battling with cancer for a couple years, and I know that she had days of great struggle. What I was blessed with seeing was a woman who was strong in her faith. She would come to church on Sunday wearing a beautiful smile, even on days when she was not feeling her best. She was faithful to serve in the choir, and to help with the coffee station, always with a smile. I believe she believed in God's plan and trusted him completely, even though I am sure she wasn't happy about it at times. She lived her life with a purpose. She did not stop doing the jobs that God gave her to do, no matter how small.
God, help me to give up the attitude that can come with "retirement." Help me to trust in your plan and purpose for my life and to live it out always with a smile on my face. Help me to always do my work for you with all of heart and soul. Help me to live the example that you have given me through Esther. Help me to be the inspiration to others that she was to me. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name. Amen.
I hear stories of people who have retired and then they feel like they start to wonder what their purpose on this earth is anymore. They start to struggle with feeling like they are just contributing anymore. But, God tells us otherwise. "As long as you are still breathing, you are here for a reason."
I am far from the age of retirement. But I still struggle at times with my purpose here on earth sometimes. I am a stay-at-home mom, have been for over 15 years now, and I have a very part-time job cleaning the church I am a member of. My days are pretty repetitious and the work I do can be frustrating at times. My kids don't need me to do for them as much anymore. They are discovering their independence, and our relationships have changed. I'm finding the teenage years to be quite a challenge for me.
I can get so tired of cleaning. You put all the time and energy into the task, you look around when the task is complete with a sense of accomplishment, order and peace, and then someone comes into the room and all of your efforts are erased by one single muddy footprint on your clean floor...ugh! What was the point in doing all of that work! And you find yourself doing the job all over again.
We all have jobs like this, not just stay-at-home-moms. Everyone; young, old, men and women. We all have jobs to do in our lives that feel pointless at times. I think the frustration that comes with our jobs can be stronger when a paycheck in not involved. Then you can really feel like all your hard work is for nothing and like you are not contributing to your family.
Colossians 3:23-24 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
All of God's work is important, and if you love and believe in God; if you live your life to glorify and honor God, then EVERYTHING you do is work for God. He has a plan and a purpose for every single second you live on this earth.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
You are contributing to God's plan and purpose, and your reward is waiting for you in heaven.
2Timmothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
A friend of mine died early yesterday morning. She was an example of 2Timothy 4:7. She was my choir buddy, and she helped me a lot to hit notes I was struggling with and helped me to understand parts of the music (I was never taught how to read music so I was really lost sometimes). I really didn't spend much time with her outside of church, so there are parts of her life that I don't know much about. But she was a great inspiration to me. She fought the good fight faithfully and she did it with a smile on her face; every time I saw her. She had been battling with cancer for a couple years, and I know that she had days of great struggle. What I was blessed with seeing was a woman who was strong in her faith. She would come to church on Sunday wearing a beautiful smile, even on days when she was not feeling her best. She was faithful to serve in the choir, and to help with the coffee station, always with a smile. I believe she believed in God's plan and trusted him completely, even though I am sure she wasn't happy about it at times. She lived her life with a purpose. She did not stop doing the jobs that God gave her to do, no matter how small.
God, help me to give up the attitude that can come with "retirement." Help me to trust in your plan and purpose for my life and to live it out always with a smile on my face. Help me to always do my work for you with all of heart and soul. Help me to live the example that you have given me through Esther. Help me to be the inspiration to others that she was to me. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name. Amen.
Saturday, February 21, 2015
40 Things To Give Up for Lent: Number Four
Impatience God's timing is the perfect timing.
Romans 8:28 And we Know that for those who love God, all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose.
When I am just kind of looking on the surface of things, I would say I'm a pretty patient person. I look at the impatience of some of the people in this world and I think I am so much better than them in the area of patience. That may be true in some cases. But when I really look, when I really pay attention to my reactions throughout the day, I see that I really need some work in the area of patience.
I can become very impatient about God's timing; waiting for answers to prayer, the amount of time he wants me to spend with him, the things he asks me to do sometimes.
I am very impatient with myself. This is how I want to be, this is how I should be, and it should be now. I should heal just as fast as some others do. Who cares about the accomplishments I have already made. Who cares that I am growing and becoming stronger every day. I'm not where I see myself at, now.
I love this part in the eDevotion today: "In 1 Timothy 4:7, the Apostle Paul says, 'Train yourself to be godly.' Training is pushing ourselves to what we can today so that we can do tomorrow what we can't do today. Growth is a process that takes time and does not happen overnight. Be patient with yourself. You are on the way. Don't be in a rush to get there. Enjoy the journey."
Patience towards others, especially loved ones, is another hard one for me. I want them to do what I want them to do when I want them to do it.
All of this impatience leaves me emotionally and spiritually drained, and leaves me very emotional. Even when it happens in "my timing" I am still drained and bitter. Impatience is self-centered. Impatience takes away our love, compassion and ability to see what is going on in the world around us.
Lord, I give you my impatience. Help me to stay focused on you and trust in you so that I can see your hand at work; so I can see just how perfect your patient plan is. Help me to set the example of your loving patience and understanding to others. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Romans 8:28 And we Know that for those who love God, all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose.
When I am just kind of looking on the surface of things, I would say I'm a pretty patient person. I look at the impatience of some of the people in this world and I think I am so much better than them in the area of patience. That may be true in some cases. But when I really look, when I really pay attention to my reactions throughout the day, I see that I really need some work in the area of patience.
I can become very impatient about God's timing; waiting for answers to prayer, the amount of time he wants me to spend with him, the things he asks me to do sometimes.
I am very impatient with myself. This is how I want to be, this is how I should be, and it should be now. I should heal just as fast as some others do. Who cares about the accomplishments I have already made. Who cares that I am growing and becoming stronger every day. I'm not where I see myself at, now.
I love this part in the eDevotion today: "In 1 Timothy 4:7, the Apostle Paul says, 'Train yourself to be godly.' Training is pushing ourselves to what we can today so that we can do tomorrow what we can't do today. Growth is a process that takes time and does not happen overnight. Be patient with yourself. You are on the way. Don't be in a rush to get there. Enjoy the journey."
Patience towards others, especially loved ones, is another hard one for me. I want them to do what I want them to do when I want them to do it.
All of this impatience leaves me emotionally and spiritually drained, and leaves me very emotional. Even when it happens in "my timing" I am still drained and bitter. Impatience is self-centered. Impatience takes away our love, compassion and ability to see what is going on in the world around us.
Lord, I give you my impatience. Help me to stay focused on you and trust in you so that I can see your hand at work; so I can see just how perfect your patient plan is. Help me to set the example of your loving patience and understanding to others. With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Friday, February 20, 2015
40 Things to Give Up For Lent: Number Three
Feelings of Unworthiness You are fearfully and wonderfully made by your Creator. (See Psalm 139:14)
I have a bad habit of comparing myself with others. I am a people watcher and I observe closely, and I can look at some people and think, "I wish I could do that like he/she can. I wish I was as good at that as he/she is." I find myself thinking about how inadequate, incapable, and unworthy I am to do, say or be a part of something. I did some research, like I have been the last couple of days, of verses that apply to this issue before I read the eDevotion for 40 Things to Give Up For Lent. These are the verses that spoke to me.
2 Corinthians 12:10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Of course, weakness is the word that spoke to me. This reminds me that I am strong in my weaknesses.
Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
A reminder that God is by side. He loves me and sees me worthy enough to strengthen me and help me and hold me up. He doesn't look at me and say, "Come see me when you get over your weaknesses and feelings of unworthiness. I can't use you when you are like this." No, his power is made perfect in our weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." You are worthy. I am worthy.
There was a lot in the eDevotion that I could relate to. So, instead of babbling on about myself, I thought I would just quote parts of Pastor Phil Ressler's devotion.
"A child needs the affirmation of their father. But many times that affirmation is not there. the father may be absent or it may be that their father never told how proud he was of them. He was quick to criticize, but slow to affirm. When that child grows older, they will continue to search for the blessing of their father. But they continue to live with a void. Maybe you can relate. You desire love, respect, acceptance, or approval. But you don't feel worthy."
I know that feeling of desiring the love, respect, acceptance and approval that I did not get from my dad. I hope and expect others to give me what I didn't get from my dad and most of the time I walk away disappointed and hurt. That is not by the fault of the person I reached out to. It is impossible for them to fill that void. There is only one who can fill that void, and to be honest I struggle with trusting that he can accomplish it either. I guess I compare my Heavenly Father to my earthly father. Even though I know I shouldn't. That is one of the goals of becoming a healthier me; that I would believe that I am as precious as God sees me.
More from the eDevotion:
"But these are lies that come straight out of the pit of hell. You are worthy enough because Jesus died for you. You need to know that you are the most beautiful, the most precious, and the most prized part of his creation. Your Heavenly Father is proud of you. More than you realize! You are worthy because you are his precious child, redeemed by the blood of Jesus."
Pastor Phil suggested writing a love letter to yourself to tell yourself how much God loves you and what you mean to him. That reminded me of letter I wrote to myself as a women's group assignment. We were reading from Created Beautiful from Focus on the Family. This letter was to be about how much God loves every aspect of the body and person he created. I wrote this on October 14, 2008. I want to share that letter with you now:
Beautiful daughter,
I just wanted to write you this letter to help you understand that you are wonderfully made. Your physical appearance is very unique and special. You are just the way I imagined you would be. I only create what is pleasing to me. I made your physical appearance in a way that would and does please the man that I created to be your husband.
Your physical appearance is not what I focus on, it is your inner beauty. You have a sincere heart and desire to live your life for me. You have a very caring heart. You have such a strong determination to turn your life experiences into learning experiences, and that helps you to grow, and I have seen you change and grow a lot over the years. That is what makes you beautiful.
Your physical appearance in temporary and always changing, and as hard as you might try, you can't stop those changes. Your outer shell is just something people see. Your inner beauty, your spirit, that is what they feel. Don't be so afraid to just let go, let the love I have for you shine through. Let people see Jesus in your heart. If you show them that then they will always see the beauty I see. Now, remember people are people, some might not appreciate what they see, but they will see it.
Your loving Designer,
God
Wow, what a reminder for me. Also, a reminder that when you do a project like this you really need to pull it out every little while and read it for encouragement.
Dear Tammy,
It is important that you separate the relationship that you had with your dad from the relationship you have with you Heavenly Father, God. You need to remind yourself everyday, by reading your bible and spending quiet time with God, just how much God loves you. He is faithful and trustworthy. He will always love you and never let you down.
You really have struggled a lot over the years with emotions, and you have allowed yourself to put your trust in those emotions. I am so glad that you are taking some new steps to find healing. You are processing like you have never done before, and it is stirring up the emotions. It feels redundant and at times pointless. But it is necessary, it is real, own it, and remember that God is holding your hand and guiding you along the way. And even when you make mistakes, because you will, God will still love you, and he will help you get right back on track. Let him work in your life. Trust in his ways and in his timing because they are perfect. He is the only one who can and will fill the void in your heart, and he wants to so let him. Stay strong and lean of God.
With all my love and understanding,
Me
God, I thank you for your faithfulness and trustworthiness. Thank you for the gift of your Son so that I could have a relationship with you. I know that you are always by my side, even in the times that I don't acknowledge you. I could not imagine doing life without you. Thank you for reminders of how precious I am to you. For reminders that you can and do use me in spite of my human weaknesses. You tell me I am worthy; worthy of your love, worthy enough for you to use me in the plans that you have for us all. You give me talents and gifts that I can use, and do use to give you glory, and to honor you. I give to you today, along with my fear of failure, and fear of stepping out of my comfort zone; my feelings of unworthiness. I know that those feelings go against how you feel about and see me. You created me and you only create what is good, pleasing, and beautiful, and worthy. Help me to always remember that truth and to ignore the lies of Satan.
With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen!
I have a bad habit of comparing myself with others. I am a people watcher and I observe closely, and I can look at some people and think, "I wish I could do that like he/she can. I wish I was as good at that as he/she is." I find myself thinking about how inadequate, incapable, and unworthy I am to do, say or be a part of something. I did some research, like I have been the last couple of days, of verses that apply to this issue before I read the eDevotion for 40 Things to Give Up For Lent. These are the verses that spoke to me.
2 Corinthians 12:10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Of course, weakness is the word that spoke to me. This reminds me that I am strong in my weaknesses.
Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
A reminder that God is by side. He loves me and sees me worthy enough to strengthen me and help me and hold me up. He doesn't look at me and say, "Come see me when you get over your weaknesses and feelings of unworthiness. I can't use you when you are like this." No, his power is made perfect in our weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." You are worthy. I am worthy.
There was a lot in the eDevotion that I could relate to. So, instead of babbling on about myself, I thought I would just quote parts of Pastor Phil Ressler's devotion.
"A child needs the affirmation of their father. But many times that affirmation is not there. the father may be absent or it may be that their father never told how proud he was of them. He was quick to criticize, but slow to affirm. When that child grows older, they will continue to search for the blessing of their father. But they continue to live with a void. Maybe you can relate. You desire love, respect, acceptance, or approval. But you don't feel worthy."
I know that feeling of desiring the love, respect, acceptance and approval that I did not get from my dad. I hope and expect others to give me what I didn't get from my dad and most of the time I walk away disappointed and hurt. That is not by the fault of the person I reached out to. It is impossible for them to fill that void. There is only one who can fill that void, and to be honest I struggle with trusting that he can accomplish it either. I guess I compare my Heavenly Father to my earthly father. Even though I know I shouldn't. That is one of the goals of becoming a healthier me; that I would believe that I am as precious as God sees me.
More from the eDevotion:
"But these are lies that come straight out of the pit of hell. You are worthy enough because Jesus died for you. You need to know that you are the most beautiful, the most precious, and the most prized part of his creation. Your Heavenly Father is proud of you. More than you realize! You are worthy because you are his precious child, redeemed by the blood of Jesus."
Pastor Phil suggested writing a love letter to yourself to tell yourself how much God loves you and what you mean to him. That reminded me of letter I wrote to myself as a women's group assignment. We were reading from Created Beautiful from Focus on the Family. This letter was to be about how much God loves every aspect of the body and person he created. I wrote this on October 14, 2008. I want to share that letter with you now:
Beautiful daughter,
I just wanted to write you this letter to help you understand that you are wonderfully made. Your physical appearance is very unique and special. You are just the way I imagined you would be. I only create what is pleasing to me. I made your physical appearance in a way that would and does please the man that I created to be your husband.
Your physical appearance is not what I focus on, it is your inner beauty. You have a sincere heart and desire to live your life for me. You have a very caring heart. You have such a strong determination to turn your life experiences into learning experiences, and that helps you to grow, and I have seen you change and grow a lot over the years. That is what makes you beautiful.
Your physical appearance in temporary and always changing, and as hard as you might try, you can't stop those changes. Your outer shell is just something people see. Your inner beauty, your spirit, that is what they feel. Don't be so afraid to just let go, let the love I have for you shine through. Let people see Jesus in your heart. If you show them that then they will always see the beauty I see. Now, remember people are people, some might not appreciate what they see, but they will see it.
Your loving Designer,
God
Wow, what a reminder for me. Also, a reminder that when you do a project like this you really need to pull it out every little while and read it for encouragement.
Dear Tammy,
It is important that you separate the relationship that you had with your dad from the relationship you have with you Heavenly Father, God. You need to remind yourself everyday, by reading your bible and spending quiet time with God, just how much God loves you. He is faithful and trustworthy. He will always love you and never let you down.
You really have struggled a lot over the years with emotions, and you have allowed yourself to put your trust in those emotions. I am so glad that you are taking some new steps to find healing. You are processing like you have never done before, and it is stirring up the emotions. It feels redundant and at times pointless. But it is necessary, it is real, own it, and remember that God is holding your hand and guiding you along the way. And even when you make mistakes, because you will, God will still love you, and he will help you get right back on track. Let him work in your life. Trust in his ways and in his timing because they are perfect. He is the only one who can and will fill the void in your heart, and he wants to so let him. Stay strong and lean of God.
With all my love and understanding,
Me
God, I thank you for your faithfulness and trustworthiness. Thank you for the gift of your Son so that I could have a relationship with you. I know that you are always by my side, even in the times that I don't acknowledge you. I could not imagine doing life without you. Thank you for reminders of how precious I am to you. For reminders that you can and do use me in spite of my human weaknesses. You tell me I am worthy; worthy of your love, worthy enough for you to use me in the plans that you have for us all. You give me talents and gifts that I can use, and do use to give you glory, and to honor you. I give to you today, along with my fear of failure, and fear of stepping out of my comfort zone; my feelings of unworthiness. I know that those feelings go against how you feel about and see me. You created me and you only create what is good, pleasing, and beautiful, and worthy. Help me to always remember that truth and to ignore the lies of Satan.
With all of my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen!
Thursday, February 19, 2015
40 Things To Give Up For Lent; Number Two
Your Comfort Zone: It is outside our comfort zones where new discoveries are made.
When I reflect on my past I can see many places where God has helped me to step out of my comfort zone. With each obedient step that I took God has blessed and changed my life. Because of those steps of obedience I am doing things I love like being a wife and mom, singing my heart out to
God at church, and I get to teach sweet little children every Sunday. With every obedient step I have taken I have discovered a little bit more about God, his desires for me, and I have discovered some things about myself. Some comfort zones are easier to step out of than others, but the end results are always the same. You walk away feeling a great sense of accomplishment. You feel stronger; ready to take on the world. There is that unmistakable sense of victory over the fear that has kept you from stepping over that comfort zone line. You did it and you are ok! There is that peace in knowing that you took that path God wanted you to take, and he walked it with you, helping you along the way.
Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
"Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed", instead "be strong and courageous." It comes back to fear; fear of failure, fear of the unknown. Where we are is very comfortable, even if it is a place that we despise. I know with all of the comfort zone victories that I have had in life there is one big comfort zone line that I am still trying to cross. It is that line of depression. This may sound strange to everyone one that reads this but I am addicted to what comes with being stuck in depression. My whole life I have tried to figure out where I belonged. I grew up with a father who didn't know how to love me. I grew up with a mom who didn't really know how to protect me. I don't blame them, I am not angry. I know that they did the best they knew how to do with what life threw there way. I know how hard it is to be vulnerable and expose yourself to others so that you can reach out for the help that you need. I know how hard it is to take the steps you need to take to step over that comfort zone line and do what you need to do to make the changes you so desire. I know what it is to fear rejection, disappointment, and fear of failure.
As much as I hate the negative self-talk, negative thoughts, and negative emotions that I feel; they are what I know. They are automatic now and instead of throwing the truth back in their faces I find myself resting in their familiar comfortably-uncomfortable arms, afraid of what life will be like without them. I just know that no one will give me the love and attention I crave if there is not a reason to reach out to them for it. I fear I will get lost, become invisible; comfortably-uncomfortable lies. I know this in my head.
2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline.
My life verse. This is the first verse ever given to me. It was given to me by my Pastor when I first opened up to him, when I first opened up to anyone, about things I was feeling. God does not want me to live in fear and feel powerless. God gives me what I need to feel courageous, to show love and to have the self-control to chose what he gives me instead of what Satan gives me. He helps me to chose truth over lies. I can do this, step over that line, even in my weakness. I can embrace the awkward and live the full life God has chosen for me, and so can you!
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Don't give full attention to your fears. Don't trust in that fear; in that uncertainty and doubt. Look to God. Focus on Jesus. He knows the way. He sees the end results. He has carefully marked each step on the path he has chosen for you. He will be your cheerleader and your guide. He is holding your hand, and he understands your feelings. He wants, more than you do, more than you'll ever know, for you to experience the victory of obedience. He wants you to feel that experience of stepping over that comfort zone line. It will feel so uncomfortable. You will feel so inadequate; like such a dork, there will be fear involved, and you may even fail a time or two; just fail forward. Be the example, let others see God working; getting you through to the other side of awkward; to the blessings of obedience.
1Timothy 4:12 Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
From the eDevotion from Good Shepherd Lutheran Church: "The clichéd definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. But moving past what is comfortable is often difficult. We like the familiar and what we know. While many of us love the "idea" of change, what we don't like as much is change itself. We have a way of settling in with familiar patterns. Let's start getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. It's where God is experienced in new ways. It's where life is lived to the fullest and joy is experienced on the journey."
Thank you, God, for helping me to take some new steps out of my comfort zone this year. For being by my side and helping me to become a healthier me in 2015. Along with my fears, I give to you today my struggle with embracing the awkward and the fear of stepping over that comfort zone line. You have helped me so many times in the past to take that step of obedience. Each step of obedience has changed me into the person I am today. Forgive me for the times that I let fear and doubt hold me back; for the times I chose to stay in the comfortably-uncomfortable arms of Satan's lies. Keep my eyes focused on you, focused on truth. Keep me encouraged. Help me to embrace the awkward and fear. I know that I cannot do this without you and I know that with you by my side I will have victory. With all my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
When I reflect on my past I can see many places where God has helped me to step out of my comfort zone. With each obedient step that I took God has blessed and changed my life. Because of those steps of obedience I am doing things I love like being a wife and mom, singing my heart out to
God at church, and I get to teach sweet little children every Sunday. With every obedient step I have taken I have discovered a little bit more about God, his desires for me, and I have discovered some things about myself. Some comfort zones are easier to step out of than others, but the end results are always the same. You walk away feeling a great sense of accomplishment. You feel stronger; ready to take on the world. There is that unmistakable sense of victory over the fear that has kept you from stepping over that comfort zone line. You did it and you are ok! There is that peace in knowing that you took that path God wanted you to take, and he walked it with you, helping you along the way.
Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
"Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed", instead "be strong and courageous." It comes back to fear; fear of failure, fear of the unknown. Where we are is very comfortable, even if it is a place that we despise. I know with all of the comfort zone victories that I have had in life there is one big comfort zone line that I am still trying to cross. It is that line of depression. This may sound strange to everyone one that reads this but I am addicted to what comes with being stuck in depression. My whole life I have tried to figure out where I belonged. I grew up with a father who didn't know how to love me. I grew up with a mom who didn't really know how to protect me. I don't blame them, I am not angry. I know that they did the best they knew how to do with what life threw there way. I know how hard it is to be vulnerable and expose yourself to others so that you can reach out for the help that you need. I know how hard it is to take the steps you need to take to step over that comfort zone line and do what you need to do to make the changes you so desire. I know what it is to fear rejection, disappointment, and fear of failure.
As much as I hate the negative self-talk, negative thoughts, and negative emotions that I feel; they are what I know. They are automatic now and instead of throwing the truth back in their faces I find myself resting in their familiar comfortably-uncomfortable arms, afraid of what life will be like without them. I just know that no one will give me the love and attention I crave if there is not a reason to reach out to them for it. I fear I will get lost, become invisible; comfortably-uncomfortable lies. I know this in my head.
2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline.
My life verse. This is the first verse ever given to me. It was given to me by my Pastor when I first opened up to him, when I first opened up to anyone, about things I was feeling. God does not want me to live in fear and feel powerless. God gives me what I need to feel courageous, to show love and to have the self-control to chose what he gives me instead of what Satan gives me. He helps me to chose truth over lies. I can do this, step over that line, even in my weakness. I can embrace the awkward and live the full life God has chosen for me, and so can you!
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Don't give full attention to your fears. Don't trust in that fear; in that uncertainty and doubt. Look to God. Focus on Jesus. He knows the way. He sees the end results. He has carefully marked each step on the path he has chosen for you. He will be your cheerleader and your guide. He is holding your hand, and he understands your feelings. He wants, more than you do, more than you'll ever know, for you to experience the victory of obedience. He wants you to feel that experience of stepping over that comfort zone line. It will feel so uncomfortable. You will feel so inadequate; like such a dork, there will be fear involved, and you may even fail a time or two; just fail forward. Be the example, let others see God working; getting you through to the other side of awkward; to the blessings of obedience.
1Timothy 4:12 Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
From the eDevotion from Good Shepherd Lutheran Church: "The clichéd definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. But moving past what is comfortable is often difficult. We like the familiar and what we know. While many of us love the "idea" of change, what we don't like as much is change itself. We have a way of settling in with familiar patterns. Let's start getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. It's where God is experienced in new ways. It's where life is lived to the fullest and joy is experienced on the journey."
Thank you, God, for helping me to take some new steps out of my comfort zone this year. For being by my side and helping me to become a healthier me in 2015. Along with my fears, I give to you today my struggle with embracing the awkward and the fear of stepping over that comfort zone line. You have helped me so many times in the past to take that step of obedience. Each step of obedience has changed me into the person I am today. Forgive me for the times that I let fear and doubt hold me back; for the times I chose to stay in the comfortably-uncomfortable arms of Satan's lies. Keep my eyes focused on you, focused on truth. Keep me encouraged. Help me to embrace the awkward and fear. I know that I cannot do this without you and I know that with you by my side I will have victory. With all my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
40 Things to Give up for Lent; Number One
I saw a posting on Facebook today; 40 Things to Give up for Lent: The List by Phil Ressler. I have decided to take each thing from the list everyday and use it as a devotional time because they are all things that I am in need of giving up. I thought this would be another good tool to use toward my goal of becoming a healthier me in 2015.
1. Fear of Failure. You don't succeed without experiencing failure. Just make sure you fail forward.
I love that phrase "fail forward".
I know that I fear failing God, and I fear failing the people I love. I fear failing myself. I fear not being adequate enough to accomplish the tasks I believe God places before me. I fear that people will fail me. There is even a part of me that fears that God will fail me. That is the hardest fear to deal with; the one that causes me to doubt my faith.
Here is the thing (I know this in my head); Other than God failing me, because the Bible tells us that He never will, the rest of it is true. We are human and we are imperfect. We will fail. "Fail Forward"; to me this means that we keep putting our hope and trust in God's power, understanding, forgiveness and love. "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
For someone like me who struggles with doubts and trust issues, I think the best place to start is by putting my trust in the hope. Keep my eyes on Jesus. His trustworthiness will be evident. The evidence of his faithfulness will leave me with no reasons to fear and doubt his abilities. I will be left with no choice but to trust. Having been a Christian for over 10 years now you would think I would have this down by now. But I have issues to work through and scars that I can still feel. I have never really taken the time in the past to really process through the causes and effects of my depression. That is something that I am working hard on this year. I am taking steps that I have never taken before. I am learning to accept my weaknesses and imperfections. I am learning that I do not have the DNA to be God (as my therapist likes to say). He is the only all powerful, perfect being. I have the DNA to fail and that is ok, as long as I fail forward.
"For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity." Proverbs 24:16
God gives us the power to rise again every time we fall. Rise in His power, dust yourself off and move forward. It is ok.
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion." Psalm 73:26
God knows we are human and we are not perfect. The only way we can truly fail God is by turning away from him. He loves us, imperfections and all. Love him. Believe in him and give him your best - your heart-felt best. He accepts you because he loves you. He gives you the gift of grace because he loves you, not because of what, or how you do something for him. Give him your life and give him your best.
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2: 8-9
"More than that, we rejoice sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy spirit who has been given to us". Romans 5: 3-5
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, them I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
That which does not kill us makes us stronger. -Friedrich Nietzsche.
Dear Lord,
I give to you today my fear of failure. Help me to put my trust in your faithfulness and power, and on days when I find that difficult to do in my human heart then help me to put my trust in the hope of your faithfulness and power so that I do not give in to the fear of failure causing me to give up on trying at all. Help me to accept that there will be times when I fail because I am human, and remind me that these times are merely learning experiences and opportunities to grow in my faith and character. Help me to rise in your power, dust myself off, and move forward. Help me to fail forward. With all my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Gift List
53. God's all sufficient power and grace.
1. Fear of Failure. You don't succeed without experiencing failure. Just make sure you fail forward.
I love that phrase "fail forward".
I know that I fear failing God, and I fear failing the people I love. I fear failing myself. I fear not being adequate enough to accomplish the tasks I believe God places before me. I fear that people will fail me. There is even a part of me that fears that God will fail me. That is the hardest fear to deal with; the one that causes me to doubt my faith.
Here is the thing (I know this in my head); Other than God failing me, because the Bible tells us that He never will, the rest of it is true. We are human and we are imperfect. We will fail. "Fail Forward"; to me this means that we keep putting our hope and trust in God's power, understanding, forgiveness and love. "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
For someone like me who struggles with doubts and trust issues, I think the best place to start is by putting my trust in the hope. Keep my eyes on Jesus. His trustworthiness will be evident. The evidence of his faithfulness will leave me with no reasons to fear and doubt his abilities. I will be left with no choice but to trust. Having been a Christian for over 10 years now you would think I would have this down by now. But I have issues to work through and scars that I can still feel. I have never really taken the time in the past to really process through the causes and effects of my depression. That is something that I am working hard on this year. I am taking steps that I have never taken before. I am learning to accept my weaknesses and imperfections. I am learning that I do not have the DNA to be God (as my therapist likes to say). He is the only all powerful, perfect being. I have the DNA to fail and that is ok, as long as I fail forward.
"For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity." Proverbs 24:16
God gives us the power to rise again every time we fall. Rise in His power, dust yourself off and move forward. It is ok.
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion." Psalm 73:26
God knows we are human and we are not perfect. The only way we can truly fail God is by turning away from him. He loves us, imperfections and all. Love him. Believe in him and give him your best - your heart-felt best. He accepts you because he loves you. He gives you the gift of grace because he loves you, not because of what, or how you do something for him. Give him your life and give him your best.
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2: 8-9
"More than that, we rejoice sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy spirit who has been given to us". Romans 5: 3-5
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, them I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
That which does not kill us makes us stronger. -Friedrich Nietzsche.
Dear Lord,
I give to you today my fear of failure. Help me to put my trust in your faithfulness and power, and on days when I find that difficult to do in my human heart then help me to put my trust in the hope of your faithfulness and power so that I do not give in to the fear of failure causing me to give up on trying at all. Help me to accept that there will be times when I fail because I am human, and remind me that these times are merely learning experiences and opportunities to grow in my faith and character. Help me to rise in your power, dust myself off, and move forward. Help me to fail forward. With all my love and trust in Jesus' name Amen.
Gift List
53. God's all sufficient power and grace.
Monday, February 16, 2015
MARRIAGE; A Gift From God
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1Corinthians 13: 4-8,13
Love is a choice.
Love is putting other's needs before yours.
Love is required.
God calls us to love each other.
Where there is love there is hope.
-Words from Pastor TJ's sermon on Sunday, February 15, 2015
Marriage is a God-given gift. A gift given out of pure, sacrificial love. When our marriages are centered on the one who gave us this gift it becomes a gift to family, friends, acquaintances, and to those who just pass through your lives. It becomes a legacy of love; we leave behind the example of God's sacrificial love. A God-centered marriage does not mean an easy, no-brainer marriage. Marriage is work. A God-centered marriage is a choice just like love is a choice. There are highs and there are lows in a marriage. There are days when happiness fills your heart and your spouse is the greatest on the earth; they can do no wrong. But then there are days of sorrow, struggles and even days when your spouse has disappointed you. It hurts the worst when someone you love and trust so dearly disappoints you even just a little. But we are all human and we are not perfect. Marriage is a life-long learning journey. Marriage requires trust and faithfulness in your promise to stand by each other every step of the way. Whether that walk is a joyful, hand-in-hand stroll down a paved, level, beautifully-tree-and-flower-lined path, or a carry each other's load, pick each other up, strenuous hike down a hilly, sun-scorched, in-the-middle-of-nowhere path. As long as you are faithful in seeing it through you will come out at the other end and your marriage will be stronger for it, and you will leave this amazing legacy behind for others to follow. So, don't be embarrassed for others to see some of your struggles. We all have them. Be sure to be faithful to see it through so others will have that hope and encouragement for their own times of struggles.
"Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other. Faithfulness springs forth from the earth, and righteousness looks down from heaven. the Lord will in deed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest. Righteousness goes before him and prepares the way for his steps." Psalm 85: 10-13
We had an all day marriage seminar at our church, Hope Crossing; The Art of Marriage. It was a day filled with inspiring stories, great reminders and humor. I heard comments of couples walking away from the day blessed by the event, of heart-felt conversations between spouses brought on by the event, and some walking away wanting more.
I know for me personally, I wish that we would of had more time. We had moments in the day to break off into private corners of the church to work on projects in our books; a time of intimate sharing between spouse. Well, time is a hard thing to control and we were left with a very small amounts of it to do our projects. Jerry and I felt too rushed to do them so we decided that we would do them on our own as we find time to sit down together. It is my prayer that we don't let life cause us to forget to do these projects. I was however very convicted to do some sharing with Jerry and made sure that conversation happened before we went to bed that night. I always find it difficult to share things with my husband. I don't want to be the cause of anything negative in our marriage. But it is a silly fear that I have because when I do finally open up to him we have wonderful conversations.
We have had our share of struggles, mostly brought on by my battle with depression. I become very self-centered and very needy. I get disappointed easy and then I withdraw. I rationalize, blame and come up with excuses for my behavior. I very rarely voice any of this to him, and I have my "legitimate" reasons why. My unwillingness to open with him has caused him pain. And here is where I need to brag about my husband. He has never stopped loving me. He does the best that he can everyday to be the husband I need him to be. I have always known the importance of open, honest, trust-filled, loving conversations between husbands and wives. This weekend I experienced a true example of why. The more open you are with each other the more you learn about and understand each other. Saturday night, Jerry voiced to me in pretty good detail what I have been feeling with my personal battles. I have been told by many that they understand, and I have been given loads of advice and loads of love, and I appreciate everyone and every effort. But no one has ever been able to share their understanding of me like my husband did the other night. O the peace that brought to my heart. Intimacy is letting someone into a part of your life that no else gets to be a part of. Of course God has to be in every detail. He is whether you want him to or not. But you need to want him to and let him work because he will give you such wonderful gifts and blessings. He is the best friend you will ever have. Next to that, for those who are married, it has to be your spouse. There has to be this special bond, trust and intimacy that is experienced with no one else but your spouse. I have not always been faithful with that order and for that I am sorry. But every breath brings a fresh start. Thank you God!
Gift List:
February 13, 2015
50. Beautiful tokens of love.
February 15, 201551. Strong, God-blessed marriage.
52. A love legacy in the making.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Learning to Lean on God
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy..." John 10:10. Satan comes to steal our joy. He wants us to fail, he wants us to quit.
..."I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10. God wants us to have joy!
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his might power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes." Ephesians 6:10-11. God wants us to have victory; more than we do.
Some day I am going to learn to trust in God completely. Someday I am going to overcome the fear of the different and unknown.
It has been a rough week. Sleep was a great desire but a distant dream. You learn just how important sleep is when you can't find enough of it. Emotions were high, the body was weak, rational thinking lost. Satan had the perfect conditions to weasel his way in and do his job; steal my joy. And I let him. I quit praying my prayer challenge prayer, I quit looking for God's precious gifts, I ignored God's truths and focused on and believed in Satan's lies. I wallowed in that depressive state that I hate so much because it has a comfortable familiarity to it; it just seems the easier route. I desired pity, craved encouragement from others, but, like always, I feared being a burden, so I worked hard at trying to avoid people. I withdrew and felt bitter about it. I felt guilt and shame because of my weak behavior.
I finally reached a point on Monday where I desired some time away from the drama; I wanted to spend some time with God. I gathered up my bible and journal and I walked into our quiet, empty church, went straight to the sanctuary and spent 2 solid hours with God. At first I just did some venting and crying. I expressed my angers, doubts, fears and frustrations. I did some apologizing and then I started to ask questions. What I wrote in my Journal: "Why do I doubt you? Why so much fear and lack of trust? I do believe you're there - deep down, I do. I have felt you. I have felt you work in my life. You have made changes in me. So why is my heart weak? Why does it take so little to pull me down? Is it the scars on my heart or is that just an excuse? Why do I fight you and push you away? What am I so afraid of? What!? Why is there so much need in me? Why do I feel like you can't fill it?"
Then I heard, "Open your Bible." So I did.
Psalm 119:62; "...at midnight I rise to give you thanks.
Eucharisteo. Gift list. It was working. Each gift lifted my spirit. Then I quit. I quit seeking "your face with all my heart" (v58). I quit on you even though you don't quit on me. I commit suicide.
I use to think of the word suicide as only meaning the taking of one's own life. But I learned while listening to my pastor's sermon on Sunday that suicide can have another meaning, too. The definition in Dictionary.com that does not apply to physical death is; Destruction of one's own interests or prospects. Prospects: The outlook for the future. Anticipation, expectation; a looking forward. A mental view or survey, as of a subject or situation.
When I stop looking for Jesus, when I quit trusting and leaning on him, I am committing suicide. Jesus is life; eternal life. The opposite of Jesus is death; spiritual, emotional, and physical death.
Verses 77, 80, 92; "Let your compassion come to me that I may live. ...that I may not be put to shame. If your law had not been my delight I would have perished in my affliction."
Hope = I might not see it or feel it sometimes but I hold on to it.
Verse 109; Though I constantly take my life in my hands, (suicide) I will not forget your law. (Hope)
Verse 116; Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed.
Verses 133-136; Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me. Redeem me from the oppression of men, that I may obey your precepts. Make your face shine upon your servant and teach me your decrees. Streams of tears flow from my eyes, for your law is not obeyed.
Verses 175-176; Let me live that I may praise you, and may your laws sustain me. I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten you commands.
Prayers, hope, encouragement, direction; a couple of hours spent with God, and a bit of time talking to my pastor put me in a better place. Those things always work for me. The problem is that I don't obey. I don't apply. I get the good, I-am-loved-and-cared-about feeling and I try to hold on to that. I try to find my peace and joy in that; what feels good. But then morning came; still sleep deprived and not leaning on God I become weak again. Emotions run high, the body becomes weak, rational thinking is lost, and the conditions become perfect for Satan, again. This time I let loose in a temper tantrum; shoe smacks wall a few times, ugly words fly in a loud tone. Then bitterness, guilt, hopelessness, desires for pity; they all return.
Today I am feel more rested; sleep was more than a dream. I'm thinking more clearly, plus things are a back to normal around here. I have learned this week some things that I still need to work on to be a healthier me.
"Sometimes the strength within you is not a big fiery flame for everyone to see, It's just a tiny spark that whispers ever so softly, "Keep going. You got this!" -TS
..."I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10. God wants us to have joy!
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his might power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes." Ephesians 6:10-11. God wants us to have victory; more than we do.
Some day I am going to learn to trust in God completely. Someday I am going to overcome the fear of the different and unknown.
It has been a rough week. Sleep was a great desire but a distant dream. You learn just how important sleep is when you can't find enough of it. Emotions were high, the body was weak, rational thinking lost. Satan had the perfect conditions to weasel his way in and do his job; steal my joy. And I let him. I quit praying my prayer challenge prayer, I quit looking for God's precious gifts, I ignored God's truths and focused on and believed in Satan's lies. I wallowed in that depressive state that I hate so much because it has a comfortable familiarity to it; it just seems the easier route. I desired pity, craved encouragement from others, but, like always, I feared being a burden, so I worked hard at trying to avoid people. I withdrew and felt bitter about it. I felt guilt and shame because of my weak behavior.
I finally reached a point on Monday where I desired some time away from the drama; I wanted to spend some time with God. I gathered up my bible and journal and I walked into our quiet, empty church, went straight to the sanctuary and spent 2 solid hours with God. At first I just did some venting and crying. I expressed my angers, doubts, fears and frustrations. I did some apologizing and then I started to ask questions. What I wrote in my Journal: "Why do I doubt you? Why so much fear and lack of trust? I do believe you're there - deep down, I do. I have felt you. I have felt you work in my life. You have made changes in me. So why is my heart weak? Why does it take so little to pull me down? Is it the scars on my heart or is that just an excuse? Why do I fight you and push you away? What am I so afraid of? What!? Why is there so much need in me? Why do I feel like you can't fill it?"
Then I heard, "Open your Bible." So I did.
Psalm 119:62; "...at midnight I rise to give you thanks.
Eucharisteo. Gift list. It was working. Each gift lifted my spirit. Then I quit. I quit seeking "your face with all my heart" (v58). I quit on you even though you don't quit on me. I commit suicide.
I use to think of the word suicide as only meaning the taking of one's own life. But I learned while listening to my pastor's sermon on Sunday that suicide can have another meaning, too. The definition in Dictionary.com that does not apply to physical death is; Destruction of one's own interests or prospects. Prospects: The outlook for the future. Anticipation, expectation; a looking forward. A mental view or survey, as of a subject or situation.
When I stop looking for Jesus, when I quit trusting and leaning on him, I am committing suicide. Jesus is life; eternal life. The opposite of Jesus is death; spiritual, emotional, and physical death.
Verses 77, 80, 92; "Let your compassion come to me that I may live. ...that I may not be put to shame. If your law had not been my delight I would have perished in my affliction."
Hope = I might not see it or feel it sometimes but I hold on to it.
Verse 109; Though I constantly take my life in my hands, (suicide) I will not forget your law. (Hope)
Verse 116; Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed.
Verses 133-136; Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me. Redeem me from the oppression of men, that I may obey your precepts. Make your face shine upon your servant and teach me your decrees. Streams of tears flow from my eyes, for your law is not obeyed.
Verses 175-176; Let me live that I may praise you, and may your laws sustain me. I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten you commands.
Prayers, hope, encouragement, direction; a couple of hours spent with God, and a bit of time talking to my pastor put me in a better place. Those things always work for me. The problem is that I don't obey. I don't apply. I get the good, I-am-loved-and-cared-about feeling and I try to hold on to that. I try to find my peace and joy in that; what feels good. But then morning came; still sleep deprived and not leaning on God I become weak again. Emotions run high, the body becomes weak, rational thinking is lost, and the conditions become perfect for Satan, again. This time I let loose in a temper tantrum; shoe smacks wall a few times, ugly words fly in a loud tone. Then bitterness, guilt, hopelessness, desires for pity; they all return.
Today I am feel more rested; sleep was more than a dream. I'm thinking more clearly, plus things are a back to normal around here. I have learned this week some things that I still need to work on to be a healthier me.
"Sometimes the strength within you is not a big fiery flame for everyone to see, It's just a tiny spark that whispers ever so softly, "Keep going. You got this!" -TS
Friday, January 23, 2015
HEALTH
I have to be honest; I have been finding it harder and harder to make myself sit down to read God's word and pray. The desire to do so is just not there. I have been pretty regular with my challenge prayer and trying to continue with my gift list. Some days it is just hard to see the gifts. I have just been feeling blue and disconnected. It makes me wonder if depression is creeping back in or just the simple winter blues.
Health is the theme word for my church. That has become my personal theme word; health. I have been trying to work hard at a healthier me: Challenge prayer, gift list, counseling. I have future activities in place to work toward better health; Biggest Loser at Hope Crossing, and The Art of Marriage seminar on Valentine's day. I had been feeling my spirit lift but Satan must have found a weak spot and he is working hard, and I have not been leaning on God. I have been trusting in Satan's lies more than I have been trusting in God's truth. It somehow seems easier even though I know that is not true. All it does is lead you to three hour meltdowns; sleep deprivation does not help the situation, either. A friend reminded me today that God is close to those hurting. God showed me that it hurts right now BECAUSE he is at work in my life. He is at work helping me to succeed in becoming a healthier me; answer to my challenge prayer. He never fails us. He never fails me even though I doubt and fear. I have actually stopped using the word "willing" and "going to" in that challenge prayer and replaced them with want, because that is all I feel I can do right now. But, God has honored that prayer by letting that be enough and working in my life anyway. Then he showed me he has been working. He is finding ways to keep me encouraged even though I have been resisting Him.
I was reminded while preparing my Sunday School lesson for the kids Sunday what kind of soil I need to be. I have to be the good soil; the soil that is full of nutrients so the seed (God's word) can grow and grow into a strong hardy plant. The only way my soil can stay good is by sticking close to God, even when he feels distant or I feel dry; I have to keep keeping on in his word and in conversation with him. He will always honor my efforts, even when my efforts feel like just mindless motions.
Gift List:
January 16
23. Family able to spend an evening together all in one room, special moments few and far in between.
January 17
24. True, honest, all-accepting friendships.
25. Mother; self-sacrificing, doing-the-best-she-can love.
26. Sisters; special kind of relationship, there-when-you-need-them love.
27. Father; brought me into this world. Didn't know how to show his love, didn't know how to heal. I believe he loved me; he tried.
January 19
28. Silence.
29. Laundry = because we have clothes to wear.
30. Housework = because we have a house to live in.
January 20
31. New beginnings with every breath taken.
32. Color; bold, vibrant, energizing; dull, washed out, bleak and peaceful; dark, earthy, warm and inviting.
33. Water; refreshing, cleansing, relaxing, play time.
34. Memories; ugly, sad; beautiful, joy; exciting, fun; hard, strength; teaching, life-lessons learned/learning; life-giving moments.
35. Spirit-lifting, skin-warming, light-giving sun.
36. Rays of light opening gray skies.
37. His Love! (I was shoveling snow this day and I saw on the driveway, where the garbage cans once sat waiting for the garbage truck, a clear patch in the snow in the shape of a beautiful heart.
January 22
38. Listening ears.
39. Prayers from loved ones.
40. Time alone, no thoughts, no words, just being.
Friday, January 16, 2015
God-given encouragement
Gift List. Not of gifts I want but of gifts I already have. Gifts he bestows.
This writing it down - it is sort of like... unwrapping love. God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given, joy" -Ann Voskamp; One Thousand Gifts.
January 10, 2015 Saturday
1, Ability to put pen to paper and let soul words flow.
2. My Van, with all it's character.
3. Husband; calm supportive, loving.
4. Daughters; beautiful, make me proud.
January 11, 2015 Sunday
5. Inspiration in a dear friend's life well lived.
6. Voice to sing praises loud.
7. Music that moves my soul.
January 12, 2015 Monday
8. Getting lost in a world seen through the eyes of another's pen.
9. Strength to shovel a way through a cold winter path.
10. Beauty in a cold gray season.
11. Sounding honk and beautiful, chaotic-organized formation of geese flying overhead.
12. Caw of a solitary crow passing by.
13. Ocean-like sound of nearby traffic; reminder I'm not alone in this world.
January 13, 2015 Tuesday
14. Burst of orange through the purples and pinks on a crisp winter morn.
15. Brilliance of sun on snow-covered tree.
16. Pleasant surprise of lower cost at the register than expected.
17. Peaceful, calming rhythm of purr from happy kitty on my lap.
January 14, 2015 Wednesday
18. Loving, open conversation between husband and wife.
19. Quiet moments to pray and think during long sleepless night.
20. Heat's protection against bitter cold.
21. Sparkles dancing across sunlit-snow.
January 15, 2015 Thursday
Kind of a low day. Tried to find the gifts of the day but just couldn't see them. The day started out with Bible reading and prayer, then got busy; cleaning church, picking up house, working on a crochet project. Then there was dinner and a church meeting. There were feelings of doubt and wondering why. It is so easy to find myself in these places; some days worse than others, this day not as bad as others.
January 16, 2015 Friday
Woke up this morning with a bit of guilt over not finding a gift to write down. Started to write in my journal and vent about some things, just like I have done many times in the past; giving God my truest deepest feelings. Thoughts come to mind that make me doubt my faith; been here before, too. Thoughts come to mind that make me, again, wonder why, wonder how. Then the Bible is opened and the reading begins. Only two chapters in Psalms read and the book is closed. One Thousand Gifts is open and it leads me to where I needed to be; back to the Bible.
Exodus 33:22-23; "When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back."
"Is that it? When It gets dark, it is only because God has tucked me in a cleft of the rock and covered me, protected, with His hand? In the pitch, I feel like I'm falling, sense the bridge giving way, God long absent. In the dark, the bridge and my world shakes, cracking dreams. But maybe this is true reality: It is in the dark that God is passing by. The bridge and our lives shake not because God has abandoned, but the exact opposite: God is passing by. God is in the tremors.
Dark is the holiest ground, the glory passing by. In the blackest, God is closest, at work, forging His perfect and right will. Though it is black and we can't see and our world seems to be free-falling and we feel utterly alone, Christ is most present to us, I-beam supporting in earthquake. Then He will remove His hand. then we will look. God reveals Himself in rearview mirrors." -Ann Voskamp.
And sometimes, maybe he gives us just a peek; lifts his hand slightly, so we can find the encouragement we need to keep on fighting for Him.
22. God-given encouragement in creative ways.
This is what keeps me believing. This is what makes me tell my doubts and fears that there is no room for you here. They push back, but this promise; the promise that; "With God we will gain the victory, and he will trample down our enemies." Psalm 108:13, this is what keeps me believing. This reminder that God is walking in front of; my guider of steps, is walking beside; my best friend, is walking behind me; my driving force, and will place me in cleft in the rock and cover me with his gentle, loving, strong and mighty hand; my protector. He surrounds me, knocking away and trampling the attack of the enemy; he is my provider. Then he lets me look back and see all that he has done for me. He lets me see how he is working in my life, even if it is only a little peek. He is my encourager.
Father, I want to do what I need to get healthy and glorify you. I know I can't do this on my own. I've tried and I've failed and I'm scared that I will fail again. I'm willing to do my part, Lord, and I'm going to faithfully trust that you are working to help me succeed. I'm learning that you want me to succeed more than I do. Help me to see your hand in this quickly and keep me encouraged as I work toward better health. In Jesus' precious name Amen.
This writing it down - it is sort of like... unwrapping love. God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given, joy" -Ann Voskamp; One Thousand Gifts.
January 10, 2015 Saturday
1, Ability to put pen to paper and let soul words flow.
2. My Van, with all it's character.
3. Husband; calm supportive, loving.
4. Daughters; beautiful, make me proud.
January 11, 2015 Sunday
5. Inspiration in a dear friend's life well lived.
6. Voice to sing praises loud.
7. Music that moves my soul.
January 12, 2015 Monday
8. Getting lost in a world seen through the eyes of another's pen.
9. Strength to shovel a way through a cold winter path.
10. Beauty in a cold gray season.
11. Sounding honk and beautiful, chaotic-organized formation of geese flying overhead.
12. Caw of a solitary crow passing by.
13. Ocean-like sound of nearby traffic; reminder I'm not alone in this world.
January 13, 2015 Tuesday
14. Burst of orange through the purples and pinks on a crisp winter morn.
15. Brilliance of sun on snow-covered tree.
16. Pleasant surprise of lower cost at the register than expected.
17. Peaceful, calming rhythm of purr from happy kitty on my lap.
January 14, 2015 Wednesday
18. Loving, open conversation between husband and wife.
19. Quiet moments to pray and think during long sleepless night.
20. Heat's protection against bitter cold.
21. Sparkles dancing across sunlit-snow.
January 15, 2015 Thursday
Kind of a low day. Tried to find the gifts of the day but just couldn't see them. The day started out with Bible reading and prayer, then got busy; cleaning church, picking up house, working on a crochet project. Then there was dinner and a church meeting. There were feelings of doubt and wondering why. It is so easy to find myself in these places; some days worse than others, this day not as bad as others.
January 16, 2015 Friday
Woke up this morning with a bit of guilt over not finding a gift to write down. Started to write in my journal and vent about some things, just like I have done many times in the past; giving God my truest deepest feelings. Thoughts come to mind that make me doubt my faith; been here before, too. Thoughts come to mind that make me, again, wonder why, wonder how. Then the Bible is opened and the reading begins. Only two chapters in Psalms read and the book is closed. One Thousand Gifts is open and it leads me to where I needed to be; back to the Bible.
Exodus 33:22-23; "When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back."
"Is that it? When It gets dark, it is only because God has tucked me in a cleft of the rock and covered me, protected, with His hand? In the pitch, I feel like I'm falling, sense the bridge giving way, God long absent. In the dark, the bridge and my world shakes, cracking dreams. But maybe this is true reality: It is in the dark that God is passing by. The bridge and our lives shake not because God has abandoned, but the exact opposite: God is passing by. God is in the tremors.
Dark is the holiest ground, the glory passing by. In the blackest, God is closest, at work, forging His perfect and right will. Though it is black and we can't see and our world seems to be free-falling and we feel utterly alone, Christ is most present to us, I-beam supporting in earthquake. Then He will remove His hand. then we will look. God reveals Himself in rearview mirrors." -Ann Voskamp.
And sometimes, maybe he gives us just a peek; lifts his hand slightly, so we can find the encouragement we need to keep on fighting for Him.
22. God-given encouragement in creative ways.
This is what keeps me believing. This is what makes me tell my doubts and fears that there is no room for you here. They push back, but this promise; the promise that; "With God we will gain the victory, and he will trample down our enemies." Psalm 108:13, this is what keeps me believing. This reminder that God is walking in front of; my guider of steps, is walking beside; my best friend, is walking behind me; my driving force, and will place me in cleft in the rock and cover me with his gentle, loving, strong and mighty hand; my protector. He surrounds me, knocking away and trampling the attack of the enemy; he is my provider. Then he lets me look back and see all that he has done for me. He lets me see how he is working in my life, even if it is only a little peek. He is my encourager.
Father, I want to do what I need to get healthy and glorify you. I know I can't do this on my own. I've tried and I've failed and I'm scared that I will fail again. I'm willing to do my part, Lord, and I'm going to faithfully trust that you are working to help me succeed. I'm learning that you want me to succeed more than I do. Help me to see your hand in this quickly and keep me encouraged as I work toward better health. In Jesus' precious name Amen.
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Grace and Thanksgiving
I have been successful with my challenge so far; thank you God for your help with that. And I can say that I am noticing some changes taking place; nothing major, just subtle, hope-filled changes. I participated in a food fest this week, and I'm not able to run a marathon, stretch my body like a rubber band, or lift an impressive amount of weight, but I have been consistent with my 15 min exercise program three times a week; this week. It hasn't been an everyday thing yet but I have been reading from my Bible more, and my journaling has not been just one long vent session with God. I see these things as big accomplishments and things worthy of celebration.
I have been reading about grace and thanksgiving, not just in the Bible but in a beautifully poetic book written by Ann Voskamp; A Thousand Gifts. Thank you to my sister for introducing me to this book.
"A free and ready favor. That's grace. It is one thing to choose to take the grace offered at the cross. But to choose to live as one filling with His grace? Choosing to fill with all that He freely gives and fully live - with glory and grace and God? Could I live that - the choice to open the hands to freely receive whatever God gives? If I don't, I am still making a choice." - From the book above.
Grace is a gift from God, it requires a choice to receive that gift. We have to make that choice. We have to fully surrender to that choice. We have to believe and trust that God loves us so much that he would sacrifice his Son so that we can receive the gift of grace and a life everlasting with Him. Surrender and trust are the things I struggle with. I need to believe that I am just as worthy as everyone else.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
"Thanksgiving is the manifestation to our yes to His grace!"
"As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible." - A Thousand Gifts
The importance of thanksgiving. Ann also said in her book, "This is why I sat all those years in church but my soul holes had never full healed." This made me think of myself and I how I have battled with depression for so many years. I know there are causes and reasons for depression; stress, chemical imbalances, and traumatic life experiences. And I know that I have got to learn to stop fighting God so much and give him my trust. But am I thankful enough. Do I really take the time to tell God thank you for all he is and all he does. To be honest, no. When I am experiencing a high in my life, when I am having one of those moments when I am feeling really connected to Him, then yes I do. But not in the everyday. I don't always look for the things to be thankful for during the low and hard times. Ann says in her book, "Thanks is what multiplies the joy and makes any life large, and I hunger for it." I really do hunger for a "life large", for freedom and healing.
One Thousand Gifts. This is an added part to my 2015 challenge. I am going to take the idea from this book to make a "gift list. Not of gifts I want but of gifts I already have." Now I have done the exercise of making a list of the 100 things I am thankful for before as a way of helping me to focus on all that I am blessed with. It really does help to look at all of your blessing, but I never looked at them as "gifts" before. A gift is given voluntarily. A gift is given out of love; a desire to make someone smile. A gift is meant to bring joy, to let someone know they are loved and cared about. A gift is special. A gift is not just something God has blessed us with because he is God and that is what he does. No, he blesses me with things, people, opportunities, all the work he does in my life because he really, truly loves me. I am his beloved daughter. Now, I don't really know what a healthy father-daughter relationship feels like, but I am learning. So I am going to take on the "Gift List" challenge. I am hoping to find more than One Thousand Gifts.
"God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given: Joy." -One Thousand Gifts
If you haven't read this book yet, I highly recommend it.
GIFT LIST:
1. The ability to put pen to paper and let soul words flow.
"This pen: This is nothing less than the driving of nails. Nails driving out my habits of discontent and driving in my habit of eucharisteo (thanksgiving). I'm hammering in nails to pound out nails, ugly nails that Satan has pierced through the world, my heart." -One Thousand Words.
I hope to one day be able to write as beautifully.
I have been reading about grace and thanksgiving, not just in the Bible but in a beautifully poetic book written by Ann Voskamp; A Thousand Gifts. Thank you to my sister for introducing me to this book.
"A free and ready favor. That's grace. It is one thing to choose to take the grace offered at the cross. But to choose to live as one filling with His grace? Choosing to fill with all that He freely gives and fully live - with glory and grace and God? Could I live that - the choice to open the hands to freely receive whatever God gives? If I don't, I am still making a choice." - From the book above.
Grace is a gift from God, it requires a choice to receive that gift. We have to make that choice. We have to fully surrender to that choice. We have to believe and trust that God loves us so much that he would sacrifice his Son so that we can receive the gift of grace and a life everlasting with Him. Surrender and trust are the things I struggle with. I need to believe that I am just as worthy as everyone else.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
"Thanksgiving is the manifestation to our yes to His grace!"
"As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible." - A Thousand Gifts
The importance of thanksgiving. Ann also said in her book, "This is why I sat all those years in church but my soul holes had never full healed." This made me think of myself and I how I have battled with depression for so many years. I know there are causes and reasons for depression; stress, chemical imbalances, and traumatic life experiences. And I know that I have got to learn to stop fighting God so much and give him my trust. But am I thankful enough. Do I really take the time to tell God thank you for all he is and all he does. To be honest, no. When I am experiencing a high in my life, when I am having one of those moments when I am feeling really connected to Him, then yes I do. But not in the everyday. I don't always look for the things to be thankful for during the low and hard times. Ann says in her book, "Thanks is what multiplies the joy and makes any life large, and I hunger for it." I really do hunger for a "life large", for freedom and healing.
One Thousand Gifts. This is an added part to my 2015 challenge. I am going to take the idea from this book to make a "gift list. Not of gifts I want but of gifts I already have." Now I have done the exercise of making a list of the 100 things I am thankful for before as a way of helping me to focus on all that I am blessed with. It really does help to look at all of your blessing, but I never looked at them as "gifts" before. A gift is given voluntarily. A gift is given out of love; a desire to make someone smile. A gift is meant to bring joy, to let someone know they are loved and cared about. A gift is special. A gift is not just something God has blessed us with because he is God and that is what he does. No, he blesses me with things, people, opportunities, all the work he does in my life because he really, truly loves me. I am his beloved daughter. Now, I don't really know what a healthy father-daughter relationship feels like, but I am learning. So I am going to take on the "Gift List" challenge. I am hoping to find more than One Thousand Gifts.
"God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given: Joy." -One Thousand Gifts
If you haven't read this book yet, I highly recommend it.
GIFT LIST:
1. The ability to put pen to paper and let soul words flow.
"This pen: This is nothing less than the driving of nails. Nails driving out my habits of discontent and driving in my habit of eucharisteo (thanksgiving). I'm hammering in nails to pound out nails, ugly nails that Satan has pierced through the world, my heart." -One Thousand Words.
I hope to one day be able to write as beautifully.
Saturday, January 3, 2015
2015 Challenge
Father, I want to do what I need to get healthy (emotionally, physically, and spiritually) and glorify you. I know I can't do this on my own. I've tried and I've failed, and I'm scared that I will fail again. I'm willing to do my part, Lord, and I'm going to faithfully trust that you are working to help me succeed. I'm learning that you want me to succeed more than I do. Help me see your hand in this quickly, and keep me encouraged as I work toward better health. Amen.
Here is what I want for 2015:
I want to have a stronger relationship with God. It just seems like I have experienced and heard about a lot of sadness and hardship this past year. There has been a lot in 2014 that has made me sad, frustrated and angry. Don't get me wrong, there has been good things, too, it just seems like there has been an extra amount of the not-so-good. Maybe it just comes with age; I'm just getting more sensitive. I think I have been doubting God's ability. I've been wonder why, and what is the point a lot. I've actually been pulling away from God; not spending nearly enough time in God's word or in prayer with him. I want to make it a point to read from my bible, journal and pray daily. I want to learn to trust God completely. I've never been able to trust him completely, especially when it come to my own personal stuff.
I want to reach my goal weight of 160, be more physically fit and better my times at the sprint triathlon this year. I want to get control of my eating. I am an emotional eater; I have what I call food fests when I am feeling sad, or stressed.
I want to be emotionally healthier.
I want to start new relationships and I want to be the best friend, mother and wife that I can be.
Here is my challenge: I am going to pray the prayer I wrote above everyday. I started this challenge on the first. I got this prayer out of The Daniel Plan book. God hears our prayers and he never fails to answer them. I am going to hold on to that promise. This prayer is going to be a way for me to get closer to God and also be a reminder that I have some work to do while I trust God to do the rest. I know I have not blogged in a long time, but I thought that I would blog about my challenge as a way to keep me accountable and to share with you how God works in my life this year.
I invite you to take this challenge with me. Whether it falls in the category of physical, emotional or spiritual, or maybe, like me, it falls in all three categories, we all have something that we are striving for. God wants us all to be healthier in all these areas of our lives and he wants to be there for you, to help you and encourage you. He wants you to succeed. Trust God to guide you in what you need to do and then obey; he will honor it. Let me know if you have decided to take on this challenge with me and I will pray for your success.
Praying for a blessed and successful 2015 for myself and for all of you.
Here is what I want for 2015:
I want to have a stronger relationship with God. It just seems like I have experienced and heard about a lot of sadness and hardship this past year. There has been a lot in 2014 that has made me sad, frustrated and angry. Don't get me wrong, there has been good things, too, it just seems like there has been an extra amount of the not-so-good. Maybe it just comes with age; I'm just getting more sensitive. I think I have been doubting God's ability. I've been wonder why, and what is the point a lot. I've actually been pulling away from God; not spending nearly enough time in God's word or in prayer with him. I want to make it a point to read from my bible, journal and pray daily. I want to learn to trust God completely. I've never been able to trust him completely, especially when it come to my own personal stuff.
I want to reach my goal weight of 160, be more physically fit and better my times at the sprint triathlon this year. I want to get control of my eating. I am an emotional eater; I have what I call food fests when I am feeling sad, or stressed.
I want to be emotionally healthier.
I want to start new relationships and I want to be the best friend, mother and wife that I can be.
Here is my challenge: I am going to pray the prayer I wrote above everyday. I started this challenge on the first. I got this prayer out of The Daniel Plan book. God hears our prayers and he never fails to answer them. I am going to hold on to that promise. This prayer is going to be a way for me to get closer to God and also be a reminder that I have some work to do while I trust God to do the rest. I know I have not blogged in a long time, but I thought that I would blog about my challenge as a way to keep me accountable and to share with you how God works in my life this year.
I invite you to take this challenge with me. Whether it falls in the category of physical, emotional or spiritual, or maybe, like me, it falls in all three categories, we all have something that we are striving for. God wants us all to be healthier in all these areas of our lives and he wants to be there for you, to help you and encourage you. He wants you to succeed. Trust God to guide you in what you need to do and then obey; he will honor it. Let me know if you have decided to take on this challenge with me and I will pray for your success.
Praying for a blessed and successful 2015 for myself and for all of you.
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