God-given encouragement

Gift List. Not of gifts I want but of gifts I already have. Gifts he bestows.
This writing it down - it is sort of like... unwrapping love. God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given, joy" -Ann Voskamp; One Thousand Gifts.

January 10, 2015 Saturday
1, Ability to put pen to paper and let soul words flow.
2. My Van, with all it's character.
3. Husband; calm supportive, loving.
4. Daughters; beautiful, make me proud.

January 11, 2015 Sunday
5. Inspiration in a dear friend's life well lived.
6. Voice to sing praises loud.
7. Music that moves my soul.

January 12, 2015 Monday
8. Getting lost in a world seen through the eyes of another's pen.
9. Strength to shovel a way through a cold winter path.
10. Beauty in a cold gray season.
11. Sounding honk and beautiful, chaotic-organized formation of geese flying overhead.
12. Caw of a solitary crow passing by.
13. Ocean-like sound of nearby traffic; reminder I'm not alone in this world.

January 13, 2015 Tuesday
14. Burst of orange through the purples and pinks on a crisp winter morn.
15. Brilliance of sun on snow-covered tree.
16. Pleasant surprise of lower cost at the register than expected.
17. Peaceful, calming rhythm of purr from happy kitty on my lap.

January 14, 2015 Wednesday
18. Loving, open conversation between husband and wife.
19. Quiet moments to pray and think during long sleepless night.
20. Heat's protection against bitter cold.
21. Sparkles dancing across sunlit-snow.

January 15, 2015 Thursday
Kind of a low day. Tried to find the gifts of the day but just couldn't see them. The day started out with Bible reading and prayer, then got busy; cleaning church, picking up house, working on a crochet project. Then there was dinner and a church meeting. There were feelings of doubt and wondering why. It is so easy to find myself in these places; some days worse than others, this day not as bad as others.

January 16, 2015 Friday
Woke up this morning with a bit of guilt over not finding a gift to write down. Started to write in my journal and vent about some things, just like I have done many times in the past; giving God my truest deepest feelings. Thoughts come to mind that make me doubt my faith; been here before, too. Thoughts come to mind that make me, again, wonder why, wonder how. Then the Bible is opened and the reading begins. Only two chapters in Psalms read and the book is closed. One Thousand Gifts is open and it leads me to where I needed to be; back to the Bible.

 Exodus 33:22-23; "When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back."

"Is that it? When It gets dark, it is only because God has tucked me in a cleft of the rock and covered me, protected, with His hand? In the pitch, I feel like I'm falling, sense the bridge giving way, God long absent. In the dark, the bridge and my world shakes, cracking dreams. But maybe this is true reality: It is in the dark that God is passing by. The bridge and our lives shake not because God has abandoned, but the exact opposite: God is passing by. God is in the tremors.
Dark is the holiest ground, the glory passing by. In the blackest, God is closest, at work, forging His perfect and right will. Though it is black and we can't see and our world seems to be free-falling and we feel utterly alone, Christ is most present to us, I-beam supporting in earthquake. Then He will remove His hand. then we will look. God reveals Himself in rearview mirrors." -Ann Voskamp.

And sometimes, maybe he gives us just a peek; lifts his hand slightly, so we can find the encouragement we need to keep on fighting for Him.

22. God-given encouragement in creative ways.

This is what keeps me believing. This is what makes me tell my doubts and fears that there is no room for you here. They push back, but this promise; the promise that; "With God we will gain the victory, and he will trample down our enemies." Psalm 108:13, this is what keeps me believing. This reminder that God is walking in front of; my guider of steps, is walking beside; my best friend, is walking behind me; my driving force, and will place me in  cleft in the rock and cover me with his gentle, loving, strong and mighty hand; my protector. He surrounds me, knocking away and trampling the attack of the enemy; he is my provider. Then he lets me look back and see all that he has done for me. He lets me see how he is working in my life, even if it is only a little peek. He is my encourager.

Father, I want to do what I need to get healthy and glorify you. I know I can't do this on my own. I've tried and I've failed and I'm scared that I will fail again. I'm willing to do my part, Lord, and I'm going to  faithfully trust that you are working to help me succeed. I'm learning that you want me to succeed more than I do. Help me to see your hand in this quickly and keep me encouraged as I work toward better health. In Jesus' precious name Amen.