Endings and Beginnings

I had been counting the days when I could finally say BSF is done. I have decided that this will be my last year in the program. I need to be more focused on my church. We are trying to make some changes; trying to think more outside of the church building. We need to reach out to the community around us, build relationships, reach out to the hurting and lost; do the job God has called us to do, and in the process we are looking forward to watching our church grow in numbers as well as spiritually. I have been feeling very passionate about this. I don't want people to miss out on the family, love, and support that comes from being a part of a church. I want to be part of teaching and growing the children of our community. That has been the most rewarding part of teaching at BSF. I am continually amazed and thrilled when I see the spiritual, mental and physical growth that takes place in the children I teach; even in the smallest baby. BSF has a wonderful children's program, and I want to take what I have learned there and apply it to my church.

Today was the last day of teaching at BSF. I went in this morning ready to face this final day so that I can start this new journey that God has for me. Before morning prayers, my Children's Supervisor shared an email she received from a mom of a child in the program. That is when the tears started to roll down my face. During the prayers the tears started to come more steadily. Before going to the preclass prayer childcare room to pick up the kids for my class, I stopped in another room to grab a kleenex and just broke down. I was really surprised by display of emotions. I had no idea just minutes ago that I was sad about this day, and second, I am not one to cry like that around other people. I am usually pretty good about holding it in. I had to take a couple of minutes to pull myself together before I could enter my classroom. Someone asked me if I was changing my mind about quitting and the answer to that is no. I truly believe that this is the plan God has for me right now. I am going to miss these children and the other leaders, and most of all I am going to miss teaching. We don't have little children in our church right now. We get the occasional visitors, and I have to admit that my heart has not been in teaching them. There is no set routine, no program in place, no time to really build a relationship with them. It usually ends up just being a time of babysitting. It is scarry to think that it could possibly be a while before I get to have a classroom again; before I get the priviage of watching a child grow, and before I can once again here the stories of how a child is really getting it and knowing that I had a part in that.

Music, children and sign language, those are the things in life that I am passionate about. God, help me to be patient as I wait on your plan for these things in my life. Prepare me for the work you have for me to do.