Genesis 29:17

The Bible that I try to read from everyday, in my office, is a T.D. Jakes Bible, KJV. I really like some of the things that he writes in there. Today I was reading Genesis 29, and he wrote a comment about verse 17 which reads... Leah's eyes were delicate, but Rachel was beautiful of form and appearance. Jakes' comment was about comparison. He wrote "He [God] never asks us to compare ourselves with any other person. In fact, it is a slap in God's face to look at someone else and say, "I wish I were like her."... None of us has the privilege of criticizing God. He is the Creator who looks at each of His created beings and says to Himself, "It is good.".... It is dangerous to give so much power to another person that their opinion determines your self-esteem..... God made you for His own purpose so that you might reflect a unique aspect of His glory....God wanted you to be you. Nobody else. You!"

Comparing myself to someone else and basing my own standards on them is something that I constantly did. I still catch myself doing it sometimes. It left me (and still tries to) feeling like I would never amount to much. I always felt intimidate and awkward, especially around other women. Those feelings will cause you to never try. They cause you to beat yourself up over the smallest things. I had such a desire to change, but I didn't want to change the right things for the right reason. I wanted to fit in, please people. I gave people the power to determine MY self-esteem with their opinions, actions or even just lack of. I gave them the power just by watching them and thinking I had to be just like them. I felt like I was always failing. I have a good friend that inspires me alot. I compared myself to her, and wanted to be like her. She still inspires me, being inspired is a good thing, but I don't want to be like her anymore. I want to be like me. What inspires me the most about her is her confidence to be herself. I want the confidence to be MYSELF.

I have learned to not dwell on the bad feelings of myself. I work hard at pushing those feelings out of my heard as quickly as possible. I try to instantly hit the delete button on those thoughts. I remind myself that I am the person God made me to be, and it really hurts Him when I don't think of myself the way He thinks of me. He loves me, and He is proud of me when all I do is try my best to live my life for Him.

Have a Blessed Day!