CONFIDENCE

I practiced my song with Mark yesterday. He is giving me some very helpful tips on how to improve my singing. This is really a lot of fun and exciting. I am getting a crash course in singing. He is also determined to get me to put my emotions into this song. That is something that I have really been working on. I want to have the self-confidence to get up in front of people and show my emotions when I sing. I want people to feel my song and be touched by it. I really don't do well with expressing my emotions openly. The only time I cry openly is after I have bottled things up so much that I lose control.

I have worked really hard at overcoming things and putting them behind me. The one thing that I can't seem to get past is my lack of confidence in myself. I have been wondering and praying about how to get pass that. I think that is were this song fits in. I believe that is why God inspired me to write the words to a song that I would not be able to find a karaoke CD or sheet music to. Now, I am working with someone who has just as much passion as I do to make this song great. He keeps saying this is my song, but it is really half his, and I don't blame him for wanting to make this song great. He has a gift a bringing someones words to life.

I don't want to be afraid to shine for God. I truly love and appreciate what my Father has done for me. Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice so that I can have an intimate relationship with God. It really bothers me that I allow fear to stop me from being completely comfortable with openly expressing my love and appreciation for God. The thing is, I am not really sure exactly what it is I am afraid of.

I was reading an article yesterday written by John C Maxwell. He spoke a little bit about legacy. He wrote, "People will summarize your life in one sentence - pick it now! Don't make your friends and family guess your life's purpose at your funeral. Start living today the legacy you want to leave. Life is short, History is long. It is up to you to spend your time on pursuits that will outlive you." That brought back the memory of a book I read a little while back. The title is, One Month to Live by Kerry & Chris Shook . One part of the book asked you to write your own obituary. It is an exercise to help you think about the legacy you want to leave behind. Here is what I wrote about my legacy...
She was a stay-at-home mom for many years then she became a Medical Transcriptionist. While working in the MT field, she pursued her new passion of becoming a sign language interpreter. Tammy and her family attended Dodge Park Church for many years, she called it her second home. It was her husband that helped her start her journey to Christ. She was an active member in her church, and she influenced a lot of people with the guidance of God. She touched the lives of may with her prayer shawl ministry, and she reached out and encouraged many women in need, and she will be missed.
At the time I wrote that I hadn't thought about the possibility of using my love for singing or writing to touch peoples lives. I was a dream in the back of my head, but I believed that was where it would stay. But you know what, anything can happen. My Pastor also gave me the idea of using that obituary as a goal statement. It hangs up on the wall next to the computer. So, I guess the sentence I would pick would be... "She worked really hard to reach people for God, and she wasn't afraid to be herself".
Have a Blessed Day!